


Focus on Something You Love, and Breathe

by Aerstes



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxious Kara, F/F, Hint of Sanvers, No Mon El/Kara in here sry, Panic Attacks, Repressed Lesbian Lena Luthor, SuperCorp, slowburn, smut is on chapter 12 FYI ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-18 12:04:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 53,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9384131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerstes/pseuds/Aerstes
Summary: Kara Danvers suddenly finds herself unable to handle the weight of the world. Lena Luthor suddenly cannot hide from her attraction to one...or maybe two women anymore. Whether their relationship to one another is uplifting or damaging, Kara and Lena can't seem to be able to stay away from one another.





	1. Chapter 1

Lena Luthor stood on the balcony of her office, looking out at the glow of National City that cut through the darkness of the late hour. In all honesty, she didn’t know why she was here. She hated this view. 

Lena was still new to National City and yet she had spent so many hours cooped up in her office looking at the same view that she was already sick to death of it. But where else was she supposed to be? Her apartment? At least that was one place untouched, in one way or another, by the two Luthors who had ruined her life. It wasn’t in a skyscraper connected to her brother’s former empire, it hadn’t been touched by her freshly incarcerated mother. But somehow it felt somehow lonelier than this office.  
Why was that?

There was a sudden gust of wind, and despite herself Lena found herself looking up, wondering if the wind was caused by the rushing speed of the red-caped heroine who she had only hours ago watched escort her mother into a police car. There was no such figure, not that she could see.  
Lena couldn’t imagine why she felt that there was some unfinished business between herself and Supergirl. What more did she want? A lengthy apology on Supergirl’s part? For what? For locking up her mother? Lillian should have been locked up a long time ago, whether Lena wanted to admit it or not. For essentially handing her mother over to her? It was the right thing to do. For misjudging her? Who could blame her? Two of the three most powerful Luthors attempted alien genocide, multiple times. Supergirl was just being cautious. And she didn’t even misjudge her, not really. She wanted to believe Lena was good. It was only when Lena was literally launching a rocket intended to wipe out the alien population city-wide that Kara doubted her. 

No, maybe she didn’t want or expect anything from Supergirl. Maybe she just wanted someone to talk to in the wake of the massive disappointment of yet another one of her family members. Maybe she just wanted a friend, something she had a very short supply of. But, like herself, Supergirl was a busy woman. And, like her, she was probably busy trying to figure out how to clean up the mess of a Luthor. Two people so similar had never been so opposite.  
Lena sighed, taking a large gulp from her third or fourth glass of wine, she couldn’t remember which, and chastised herself for over indulging in self-pity. Luthors don’t sulk.  
But Lena wasn’t a Luthor. Not in the slightest. And she hoped, now, that wherever Supergirl was, that she knew that.

*

Kara took to the skies for a while to think. Or maybe to escape, she wasn’t sure which. Bits of ash from the explosion of the rocket still floated in the air, kicked up by her momentum as she raced between the tallest buildings of National City. Super powers or no, her ears still rang dully from the explosion that she thought, for a moment, would kill J’onn, Mon El, and every other alien in the city. The panic that had set in in the moment she watched the embers of the virus cloud rain down on National City had rocked her to her core. Even after the relief of knowing that no harm would be done, that Lena had tricked her mother and spared the alien population of the city, and that Lillian was now on her way to being locked up for good, she still couldn’t relax. It was an increasingly growing problem for Kara, an inability to calm herself after defeating yet another evil in the world. She thought it was a logical way to feel at first. After all, there was always another big bad waiting right around the corner. Every time she let herself breathe after saving the day, the next day was ready and full of just as much peril. It reminded her of the pet hamster she begged Eliza for when she was a girl, always running on its wheel. She thought it was cute at the time. Now she felt bad for the poor thing, running hard and fast yet never making any progress, never running any farther than its cage. 

Oh, she was being dramatic. Mr. Snuggles loved that wheel. 

Still, after she was sure that Lillian was on her way to prison, her heart still raced and chest still felt tight, and no matter what she did it felt like she couldn’t get enough air. So, she took off. She could sense that Alex and J’onn were concerned as she darted off, not giving either of them an explanation. The comm she still had in her ear had crackled as she rounded CatCo. “Come in, Supergirl,” Alex’s disembodied voice called. “Kara. Hey. Are you okay?”

And, really, all she had to say was, “I’m fine, Alex!” and even if Alex didn’t believe her she would let it go at least until she came back, trusting that Kara could handle herself. That would have been the logical thing to do. Instead, without really thinking, she pulled her earpiece out and tossed it into the bay. She instantly regretted it, but it was already done. And although she hated to admit it, she felt suddenly less burdened knowing that no one could find her, not even Alex or J’onn, as long as she kept flying.  
Kara had flown this skyline for so long she could practically go on autopilot, and after getting lost in her thoughts for a moment, she came back to reality and realized she had steered herself in the direction of L Corp. Her heart jumped. What was she going to L Corp for? Lena didn’t want to see her or talk to her. Not after what happened. When she first met Lena she doubted her integrity, and ever since then she had been too quick to have further doubts about her just because of her last name. Sure, she wasn’t as quick to judge as Alex or J’onn or Winn, but that wasn’t an excuse. Lena continued to prove her wrong. She had even turned her mother over to the police. She was reminded of Astra and how much she struggled when she was captured and brought to the DEO. If she were in Lena’s place, Kara Danvers would be the last person she wanted to see. 

Still, she felt compelled to check on Lena, to make sure she was okay. If Kara knew her at all, she knew Lena Luthor would be back in her office. Redirecting herself, she flew as quickly as she could around the building and up, hoping her speed was enough to keep Lena from seeing her fly by. Hovering atop L Corp, she looked down to the balcony outside of Lena’s office, and sure enough, she was there. It almost felt like Kara was cheating, she thought for sure she would have to x-ray vision into the office or sneak her way into the building. But there Lena Luthor stood, on her balcony, a half-drunk glass of red wine in her left hand, cell phone in her right, staring out at the city.  
Kara’s first thought was it was too cold an evening for Lena to be outside without a jacket. She resisted the urge to fly down there and tell her that. Her second thought was that Lena still looked totally composed, as if nothing was wrong, even though she was, as far as she knew, completely alone, and had just secured her own mother’s fate as a convicted criminal. Despite having every reason to let her guard down in that moment, Lena was still as invulnerable looking as ever. It looked lonely. It would be so easy for Kara to fly down there, tell her she was sorry, for everything, and maybe even give her a hug. Lena looked like she needed a hug. Instead she watched her stand, oddly still, like something carved out of stone, until Kara’s heartbeat slowed to normal, she took a deep breath, and she felt calm enough to fly home. She offered a quiet “goodnight, Lena” to the night air as she flew away from L Corp. 

Unsurprisingly, when she entered her apartment, Alex was waiting for her at the kitchen table, foot tapping impatiently. 

“You know, those comms are pretty expensive. Mostly because they also keep constant track of your vitals and GPS location. So you can imagine why I would be a bit irritated when you not only stop responding, but your vitals suddenly drop to nothing and the tracking system shorts out. But not because something bad happened to you, obviously. So, what?”  
Kara looked at her feet, squirming uncomfortably under Alex’s intense stare. 

“I threw it in the bay.”

Alex sighed. 

“Why did you do that, exactly?”

“I don’t know. I just. I needed a minute to myself. I’m sorry.”

Alex furrowed her brow, looking her sister up and down, wondering if she needed to be worried. 

“Alright. Just. Don’t do it again. Those things are seriously really expensive. Okay?” 

“Yeah. I know.”

“Okay. Well. I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted. I’m gonna go home, put on my pj’s, and have a nice glass of scotch.”

Kara looked up at her sister.

“Just one glass, right?”

Alex smirked despite herself. “Yeah. Just one.” She pulled her sister into a hug, placing a kiss on her right temple. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

Alex shut the door to Kara’s apartment behind her, and Kara listened until she was sure that Alex had left the building before letting out a deep breath. After scarfing down six or so donuts she had left from that morning, she was starving; she peeled her suit off carefully, slipped into a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt and crawled into bed. That last thing she saw before drifting off to sleep was the look Lena gave her earlier that day as she angrily asked her to leave her office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen. I wrote the what I have of this so far last week and now I'm 3 glasses of wine in so here we go. Any other works I've posted on this site before I've become amazingly ashamed and eventually deleted but I actually am having a lot of fun writing this one so I think I'm in it for the long haul. How long that will be I honestly have no clue. Seriously, I don't even have a fully conceived plot yet I'm just making this up as I go. But since I'm going to be away from my laptop for a long weekend and the show is coming back Monday I may as well post this now. I'm "schatzietess" on tumblr if you feel like finding me there. Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena just needs a hug.

Kara somehow found herself on Snapper’s shit list…again. While everyone else was writing hard hitting stories on the almost alien genocide, she was given the most amazing exclusive of the century...coverage of the newly hatched eagle chicks in the nearby nature reserve. I mean, granted, they were adorable. When she had tapped into the livestream of the nest, she couldn’t help but let out a little gasp as one of the gray, fluffy chicks tripped over its own feet. But still. She was there when it happened! She was the one chasing after that rocket and getting beaten down by that cyborg Hank Henshaw. But she couldn’t tell Snapper that. So here she was. In her office. Watching eagles on livestream and reminding herself over and over that she was a real reporter. But, compared to yesterday, she supposed that by comparison, this wasn’t so bad. 

There was a knock at her door, and she nearly leapt out of her seat. How did she not hear anyone coming? She adjusted her glasses nervously. 

“Um, yes? Come in.”

The door handle made a clicking noise, and the slender, soft looking hand of Lena Luthor pushed the door open. Kara’s eyes widened. Lena still always had a way of catching her off guard. 

“Lena! Hi!” 

Memory suddenly flooded back, and Kara’s face fell. How was she supposed to act around Lena now? Not even as Supergirl, but just as Kara Danvers. Was Kara supposed to know what happened? Wait, of course she was, she worked as a reporter for CatCo; of course she knew. But should she even mention it? 

No, Kara decided. Let Lena decide if she wants to talk about it or not. 

She plastered her smile back on. 

“I’m sorry,” Lena said, “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Her smile was bright and welcoming, like it normally was towards Kara, but not always towards Supergirl. Behind her smile though, Kara could see that her eyes were tired, even sad. Once again she felt the urge to wrap Lena into a hug, but she resisted. 

“Of course not! I’m always welcome to interruptions. It’s not like I’m ever assigned any hard hitting stories anyway.” 

“Oh? Why, what’s the big scoop you’re working on today?” Lena stepped into the office, closing the door behind her. 

Kara sighed, smiling slightly and glancing back over to the livestream of the eagle chicks. 

“Oh, it’s a thrilling piece on the new eagle chicks at the nature reserve.”

Lena smiled back at her.

“To be fair, they’re adorable. I’ve been watching their livestream all morning.” 

“Oh, really? Well would the CEO of L Corp care to make an on the record comment about them? Perhaps give them a one to ten rating based on their fluffiness?” Kara laughed at herself. 

“You know, it’s funny, because it’s a ‘fluff’ piece.”

Lena shook her head, chuckling. 

“Well, I’d much rather comment on baby eagles than the attempted mass murder of hundreds of alien refugees by my mother using L Corp tech.” 

Lena’s smile quickly disappeared, and for a moment her eyes glossed over before she blinked the tears away.

Kara lurched out of her chair, rushing around her desk to grasp Lena’s forearm. She wasn’t sure if it was okay for her to touch Lena at all, but Lena didn’t flinch away.

“Oh, Lena. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” 

Lena shook her head, not so much as to indicate that no, she was not okay, but more so to shake off whatever thoughts she had going through her head for a moment she grasped the hand on her arm, squeezing tightly. Then, letting Kara’s hand go, she looked up once again, and the Lena Luthor she saw the night before on her balcony was back; poised and guarded and totally unshakeable. 

“I’ve never seen your office before, Kara,” she said, beaming. She looked around the small room a bit. “It’s got a lot less…color than I imagined it would.” 

Kara flushed, suddenly very aware of her drab surroundings. “Oh. Well. I’m hardly ever in here. I’m a busy girl.”

“I’m sure you are.” 

Lena stood looking at Kara for what felt like an eternity to her, her smile never faltering. Beneath Lena’s penetrating gaze, Kara felt somehow overexposed, yet at the same time her clothes and the Supergirl suit hidden beneath them felt itchy, tight, and constricting. She adjusted her glasses, laughing uncomfortably. 

“Umm, so, what brings you by my humble little office this morning?” 

“Oh. Well, it was silly. Don’t worry about it.”

“No, no, not silly,” Kara insisted, once again breaking a physical barrier between them to grasp Lena’s hand in her own. Why did she keep doing that? She pulled her hand away again, scolding herself silently. “Whatever you need, I’d be happy to help, if I can.”

Lena looked down at the hand Kara had grasped momentarily, outstretching her fingers before clasping her hands together in front of her. 

“Well,” Lena said, “It’s just…I want to be prepared for whatever scathing stories are going to start coming out about my mother and likely L Corp by extension. I know you can’t control what is said…but…if you could just give me a heads up before tomorrow’s stories go up?”

“Of course, Lena. Of course I can do that. Are..are you sure you don’t want to make a statement? Try to counter some of the negative media?”

Lena shook her head.

“I’ve learned that nothing I say can really change public opinion of me and my company. Especially when things like this keep happening. I just have to…keep on with my work and hope that the good I am trying to do ends up outshining all the bad.” She paused. “It’s starting to seem like a foolish hope to have.”  
Again, Kara wanted to give her a hug. She wanted to cling to her for as long as Lena would let her, she wanted to stroke her hair, tell her that everything was okay, and-

Stop it, Kara. 

“It’s not foolish, Lena. I…read the police report and I know that you helped stop Lillian from releasing that toxin. People will know that you were the one that saved everyone.” 

Lena shook her head.

“Me? Hardly. If anything I let it go too far. I should have just believed Supergirl when she first told me that Lillian was in charge of Cadmus. I could have just handed her over to the police but instead…I made this big dramatic effort to try and derail her plan at the last second and made this whole thing into a PR nightmare.”

“Lena, no one got hurt. All of those aliens are fine because of you.” 

Lena leaned against the door, shutting her eyes for a second and taking a deep breath. 

“You know what the funny thing is? I still thought, somehow, that at the last second, my mother would change her mind, be a better person. I mean, how naïve can I be?”

Again, the urge to hug Lena. Again, Kara scolded herself.

“It’s not naïve to want to see the good in people, Lena. You have to know that.” 

Lena looked at her, eyes sad. 

“Thank you, Kara. Well, I’ve kept you long enough.” She turned to leave the office. “Oh, and one more thing?” 

“Anything, Lena,” Kara said, smiling. 

“I don’t know if you still see much of Supergirl. But if you do see her, let her know that…I’m sorry. And thank her, for believing in me.” 

Kara stared at Lena a moment, mouth agape. 

Oh, screw it. 

She grasped Lena by the shoulder and pulled her into a hug. Lena stiffened at first, and Kara was terrified that she had overstepped her boundaries. But a second later, Lena softened into the hug, placing a tentative hand on Kara’s lower back and tilting her head into Kara’s shoulder slightly. Lena took a long, shuddering breath in and released it slowly. Something about this exact moment, the privilege of being able to hold Lena, to feel her breath warm on her neck, was oddly intoxicating, and she didn’t ever want to let go.   
However, to her disappointment, Lena was the one to pull away, cheeks flushed. Kara could feel heat creeping onto her face as well, and she smiled shyly, looking down at her shoes.

Lena swallowed hard. 

“Thank you, Kara…for the talk.” 

“Uh, yeah. You’re welcome. Of course. Please, um, feel free to stop by any time.” 

“You as well.” 

When Lena shut the door behind her, she gripped the door handle tightly, taking a moment to compose herself. 

Okay, Lena thought, so that just happened. 

I can’t believe I did that, Kara thought, and was instantly snapped out of her trance by the buzzing of her phone in her back pocket. 

ALEX: Oh hey Mon El is awake and feeling better. BUT ALSO SOMETHING REALLY BIG HAPPENED LAST NIGHT AND I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT NOW. LIKE RIGHT NOW. :DDDDD

*

Kara, admittedly, took more time than she needed to get to the DEO. Not that she wasn’t eager to find out whatever news Alex had, but because she really wasn’t looking forward to having an awkward conversation with Mon El after his half-conscious pass at her in which she would have to sternly tell him no, she was not interested in him in that way.   
But, much to her luck, he seemed to not remember anything that happened while he was ill, thank Rao. And more than that, to her surprise, Eliza had found a way to turn J’onn back into a Green Martian. So, all things seemingly settled, as that seemed to always happen, she made quick work of dragging Alex into one of the work out rooms to demand an explanation. Alex had the most ridiculously wide grin on her face, and could barely stop sputtering over her words long enough to spit it out already.

“Maggie came over last night,” she said, giggling with delight like she did when they were kids talking about the boys they had crushes on. 

It took Kara a moment to register what Alex had said. 

“Wait, she came over to your apartment?” Alex nodded giddily. “Last night? But you didn’t get home until well after midnight!” Another nod. “So…I mean…well what happened?” she exclaimed.

Alex got a smug grin on her face. 

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell,” she said. 

Kara’s jaw dropped. 

“She kissed you?”

Alex was only able to nod vehemently again before bursting into giddy laughter. 

“Kara oh my God it was so amazing. I didn’t expect it at all, and she just came waltzing in saying all these things and then she kissed me and her lips were so soft and everything about her is just so soft and I…it was just…it was amazing. Like holy crap I wish I had started kissing girls so much sooner they’re so much better at it! I just…” the giggling resumed.   
Kara couldn’t help but giggle with her, grasping Alex’s hands in hers and jumping up and down happily like literal teenagers. She just couldn’t help but be so happy seeing her sister this happy. 

“Wait, though,” Kara finally said, eyes widening, “did she stay the night?”

“That’s classified.” 

Kara smacked Alex hard on the arm. 

“I can make you talk, Alex. You know I can.” 

Alex sighed.

“No, she went home. She didn’t want to rush things, and I agreed with her. I felt really bad because by the time she left it was so late and I told her she could crash on my couch but she didn’t think it was a good idea yet. I don’t blame her. I don’t think I would have been able to contain myself knowing she was sleeping in the next room…” 

“Why Alex Danvers, how scandalous.” Kara grinned. “I’m so happy for you though. Really. And now that your heart is no longer broken, she is officially off my crap list.” 

“You mean your shit list?”

Kara scrunched her nose.

“No I do not mean that.” 

* 

 

After finishing off the revisions of her eagle chick piece, because as Snapper had so gently pointed out, “Puns are for Disney films!”, Kara thought again about Lena and the message she had wanted her to give to Supergirl. Well, if she was being honest, she had been thinking about it all day. But with no catastrophies, not even a single measly carjacking, to give her something to be distracted by, she couldn’t help herself. She had to go over to L Corp herself, as Supergirl, to see Lena. And actually talk to her, not just watch her from far away, like some kind of creep. She still thought that maybe she should wait another day or so before trying to talk to Lena and clear the air, but Kara couldn’t get the image of Lena’s sad eyes out of her head. Maybe she would even hug her again. Lena was a really good hugger. Like, a really good hugger. Kara was half convinced Lena had magical hugging powers. So, before she could talk herself out of it, she was flying towards L Corp. 

Kara touched down gently onto the balcony of Lena’s office, and, as she suspected, Lena was sitting at her desk, working. An empty wine glass sat on the glass patio table of the balcony, a hint of red stained into it. Kara smiled, remembering the calm she had felt the night before looking down at Lena. 

Like a creep, she thought again. 

Kara didn’t think it was proper to simply barge in as she had done the day before, under very different circumstances. Instead, suddenly feeling shy, she rapped on the glass door, painting on a broad, rehearsed smile she thought would help break the ice. 

Lena jumped slightly, spinning her chair around to discover the source of her disturbance. When she saw that it was Supergirl standing outside of her office, Lena’s mouth parted open for a minute, before she bit her bottom lip slightly, an action that made Kara’s stomach flip. 

It’s just nerves, Kara told herself. 

Lena got up and slid the balcony door open, leaning her hip against it. Her position suggested that she was blocking Kara from entering, and Kara wondered for a moment if she had made a mistake by coming here. 

Lena glimpsed down at the watch on her wrist. “Have I made such a habit of working late that second nature for you to look for me here, Supergirl?”

What was behind the tone of Lena’s voice? Kara couldn’t tell. Was she happy to see her? Was she irritated by her presence? Had Kara read her message from earlier all wrong? Did she say what she said to be sarcastic, and was actually angry at Supergirl? Alex always told Kara that she was bad at picking up on sarcasm. Though, after all that time working for Cat Grant, she couldn’t imagine that she was still right about that. That woman was fueled by sarcasm. 

“Well, I was in the area,” Kara replied, pushing through her uncertainty. “And I thought I would at least check. Although, I am starting to wonder if you even have your own place, or if you just live here.”

Lena blinked several times at Kara. 

That was supposed to be a joke. Did Lena not find it funny? Oh, God.

Lena smiled suddenly. 

“I do, actually. An apartment a block east of here, on 5th. You’re welcome to stop in there the next time you come looking for me.” 

Kara flushed. She didn’t know why the way Lena said that took her completely off guard.

“Oh. Well…I-thank you for the offer, Lena.” Kara let out a breath she had apparently been holding, and leaned against the railing of the balcony. “Honestly I wasn’t even sure you would be willing to talk to me. But then what you said to me-uh, Kara. What you said to Kara Danvers to tell me, earlier, I took it as a sign that I should see you.”

Lena tilted her head to the side.

“Well. News does travel fast, doesn’t it?”

Kara let out a laugh from deep in her throat, more like an awkward bark, that she pretended wasn’t totally embarrassing and she tried to blow past her near reveal. 

“I get it,” Kara said, “Because Kara is a reporter. That’s. That’s funny.” 

“Thank you. I thought it was, too.” 

Kara let herself stare at Lena for a moment. She was wearing a form fitting black dress, the neckline of which was cut square below her collarbone. Her dark hair was pinned up so perfectly Kara wondered if she had a personal hair stylist. She probably did. She had a simple silver chain around her left wrist, nails short but perfectly manicured. Lena was so effortlessly beautiful that Kara couldn’t help but stare when given the opportunity. She stopped, however, when she realized that she had been staring, silently, for an uncomfortably long amount of time. She cleared her throat, trying to think of something, anything, to say.

“Do you want to see my favorite view of National City?” 

Lena’s mouth hung slightly open for a moment, as if searching for something to say. 

“Is it far from here?” she finally asked, looking back towards her office tentatively. 

Kara smiled.

“Not for me. Are you okay with flying?”

Lena smirked, eyes suddenly brighter. “Somehow I’m sure you’re much safer than a helicopter.”

Kara couldn’t help but beam at Lena. 

It was a bit awkward at first, picking Lena up like a small child. She was used to picking people up to fly them around, but something about this time felt impossibly closer and more personal than usual. Lena clasped her hands around Kara’s neck, Kara put two firm hands around Lena, and she fought past sudden self-consciousness long enough to take off into the sky. Lena gasped in her ear, her grip on Supergirl’s neck tightening. 

“Sorry,” Kara said, slowing down and keeping their altitude low. “Usually when I carry people around I’m in more of a hurry. Lives to save and all.”

Lena laughed, voice still slightly shaky as she pretended to be totally okay with being so high off the ground. 

“Oh, I’m aware of that, Supergirl. It still just…catches me off guard, that’s all.” 

“Well, maybe I kind of like catching you off guard.”

Umm…why did you just say that? What was that?

Lena looked up at her, eyes wide, equally surprised by Kara’s statement. 

“Umm,” Kara said, clearing her throat, “we’re almost there.” 

When she placed Lena back onto solid ground, they were standing on a small mountain just outside of National City. Instantly, Kara sat onto a patch of scratchy, sparse grass, pulling her knees up so she could rest her chin on them. Lena stood still, and Kara realized the dress she was wearing, although simple enough, was probably very expensive. She instantly detached her cloak and laid it on the ground next to her. Smiling slightly, Lena sat, reminding Kara of a bird perching on a phone line: probably uncomfortable.   
“Interestingly enough, I think that eagle’s nest is somewhere nearby,” Kara said, eyes immediately going wide when she realized that was something Kara would have said, not Supergirl. 

“Oh?” One of Lena’s eyebrows quirked upwards. “Did Kara Danvers tell you about her story on the eagle chicks hatching?”

“Uh…yeah, she asked if I could fly by for a closer look, but I didn’t want to disturb them.” 

“Well how very thoughtful of you. And how very thorough of Kara.” 

Kara covered her relief with a chuckle. “That she is.” She took a breath. “So. Um. Speaking of Kara Danvers.” 

“Ah, yes. My message. Well, I would have delivered it in person if I knew you would be dropping by so soon. But admittedly…I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me so soon.”

Kara scoffed, appalled that Lena could think that she would want to ignore her. 

“Lena! I was afraid you didn’t want to see me. Not after the way I spoke to you. Not after…well…you know.”

Lena sighed, looking out at the view atop the secluded mountain, her dark eyelashes fluttering slightly as she hid some wave of emotion she would not permit Supergirl to see. 

“You aren’t to blame for the nefariousness nature of the Luthor bloodline, Supergirl. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like I did when you told me that my mother was behind Cadmus. Deep down, I knew you were right. Perhaps I was just mad at myself for not seeing it sooner.”

“Lena, you…”

Lena cut her off with a wave of her hand. 

“No need to dwell on such things. What’s done is done. I’m just glad to know that we can be friends. You know, if that’s alright with you.” 

“I would like that,” Kara said, barely louder than a whisper. 

Lena nodded her head slightly, continuing to stare out as the sun began to set over National City. 

“This is a beautiful view, Supergirl. Thank you for bringing me here. I think…I needed to see the city from a new perspective.” 

qWithout Lena looking directly at her, Kara allowed herself to smile as brightly at the view of Lena Luthor, bathed in the sunset’s pink glow, as she could. She was so entranced for a moment, that when a voice in her ear comm came bursting through, she jumped so much that she nearly tumbled down the mountain side.

“Heeey, Supergirl!” Alex boomed. “How’s that new comm working out?”

“Yikes, Ale-Agent Danvers, you practically burst my eardrum!” she said, composing herself. Lena looked slightly amused by her moment of clumsiness. 

“Well, after last night, I wanted to make sure you could hear me loud and clear, even if you had managed to throw this one in the ocean as well.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Do you need anything, Agent?”

“Actually, yes,” Alex replied, back in DEO mode, “there’s reports of a hostile causing some trouble on the upper west shore. Judging by early 911 interceptions, expect it to be slimy.” 

Supergirl groaned loudly.

“Well, hold whatever it is off for a few minutes, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

“Why can’t you get down there now?”

“I’m in the middle of something, Agent. Can’t you handle it for a couple minutes?”

“Jeez, fine. I thought you said you were eager for some action today, but I guess I misheard you. Just…get down to the shore as fast as you can, okay?”

Kara sighed. 

“Yeah. Fine.”

Kara cursed her own bad luck. She was having an oddly good time up here alone with Lena, and she was pretty cranky about the fact that it had to end so soon. She turned to her companion.

“I’m so sorry, Lena, but something just came up.” 

“Oh, no need to worry, Supergirl,” Lena said, looking down the steep decline in front of where she sat. “I can walk from here.”

Kara laughed heartily, surprised by Lena’s wit. 

“Come on,” she said, still chuckling, “I’ll take you back to L Corp.” 

“Actually, if you wouldn’t mind it too much, you could take me to my apartment.” 

“Of course! But, don’t you need to gather any of your things from your office?”

“Oh, nothing important. Besides, it will add to the drama of the scene when Jess realizes that she has no idea where I went.” 

Lena smiled devilishly. 

“What is it with powerful business women and tormenting their assistants?” Kara asked, picking Lena up once again. 

“Well, we have to do something to keep us occupied when we’re not being whisked away by our local superheroes.” 

Kara laughed, and, gently, flew towards 5th Street. She glanced towards the shore on her way, seeing some type of massive fish creature trashing around the shore.   
Fantastic. 

Lena guided Kara to her apartment. 

“Lucky for you, it has a balcony. I know that’s your preferred method of entry.” 

“To be fair, I’m fine with large windows as well,” Kara replied. 

Lena chuckled in reply, and Kara thought that the sound of it was beautiful. When she placed Lena on her balcony, she held onto her a moment too long, wanting desperately to feel as comfortable and, she supposed, safe, as she did in their embrace that morning. She broke off, however, as her comm once again boomed with urgency. 

“In case you were wondering,” Alex said, out of breath, “half of the DEO agents are covered in fish slime, Supergirl. That, apparently, has temporary paralytic qualities. But you know, you just take your time. It’s fine!” 

“Ugh, I’m coming, Agent! Honestly, how did you people get anything done before you had me to rely on?”

“Less whining, more fishing, Supergirl!” 

Kara practically growled before turning to Lena. 

“I really have to go.” 

“I know,” Lena said, suddenly gripping Kara’s hand, “But, try not to be a stranger from now on, okay?” 

Kara beamed at Lena, and took off towards her slimy fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk sometimes Kara takes girls on dates without realizing they're dates bc she's an oblivious softy. PS I literally convinced myself that the word "eaglet" was the word for eagle and I still don't know if I was right or not but I replaced it with "eagle chicks" anyway bc apparently that's easier than a google search.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is sometimes a sass master. J'onn is the best space dad, and now it's Kara that just needs a hug.

Well…that was…interesting, Lena thought, as she slid her balcony door shut behind her. 

Moving to National City was definitely proving to be the most eventful decision Lena had ever made. Restructuring her brother’s empire into something less…hell bent on world domination, having her life threatened so many times she was beginning to lose count, bringing down her mother and Cadmus in one backstabbing move, and now being whisked around the city in Supergirl’s arms. Being alone in a deserted place with Supergirl, watching the sunset with Supergirl, being stared at by Supergirl (yes, she had notice), maybe even being hit on by Supergirl? 

No, she had to be imagining things. 

Or was she?

And then, on top of all of that, there was the issue of Kara Danvers, who had proven to be a complete and utter inconvenience for Lena. Inconvenient because Lena couldn’t seem to stop being a smitten idiot around Kara. It seemed like she was constantly finding ways excuses to see Kara. She couldn’t stop herself. It was pathetic. Even more pathetic was how giddy she got every time Kara came in to her office looking for an interview. I mean, she was a reporter starting out and likely wanted to use any higher connections she could to get a head, and Lena was happy to oblige if that was the case, but she couldn’t help but hope there was more to it than that. She couldn’t help but hope there was more behind that blinding smile of hers than professional courtesy, more than even friendship.

God, you’re pathetic, Lena. 

Yes. Lena had a thing for Kara Danvers. She had from the first time she walked into her office with Clark Kent. She had come to terms with that. Like she had come to terms with every other unrequited crush she had had on a girl since she was in boarding school. Because of course it was unrequited. It was always unrequited. She had learned that lesson the hard way when she was fourteen, and had tried to kiss her then best friend Melissa, a name she now pretended she had forgotten. Teen girls could be cruel, and Melissa wasted no time ending their friendship and trying to spread the news all around school that Lena was…a word she didn’t care to repeat. It was Lex, in fact, who had somehow managed to intimidate Melissa and her gang of preppy girls into silence. It was also Lex who taught her to hide the way she felt, for the good of the family, and she was better off because of it. No one ever needed to know that secret about her. Not that the world wasn’t more accepting of who she was than it was when she was younger, but as she had come to learn, love is a thing easily distorted and manipulated into something painful and cruel, and she would have no part in it. 

So, yes, it was inconvenient that Kara Danvers happened to be, by all accounts, the kindest, sweetest, and most caring person Lena had ever met. If anyone were to convince Lena that perception of love was wrong, it would be her.

That wasn’t going to happen, though. She wouldn’t let it. She just had to have some self-control, for goodness sakes. 

And now, Supergirl was making herself hard to resist as well. Lena shook her head, pushing away the racy thoughts attempting to creep into her head. 

“That’s quite enough of that,” she said to herself. 

Her cell phone buzzed. A message from her assistant. 

JESS: Uh…Ms. Luthor? Where are you? When did you leave? Are you coming back??

Lena smiled, putting her phone down on her coffee table. She would let Jess worry a bit longer. This was far too entertaining to end now. 

Then, she heard her phone ring. She looked at her cell, but the screen was black. She furrowed her brow. Where was the ringing coming from? Moving from her living room to her kitchen, she found the source of the ringing. A cheap looking burner phone sat on her kitchen counter, nearing the edge as it was propelled by its own vibrations. Lena froze, a terrible chill washing over her body. She let it ring, unable to move. The ringing stopped, for a moment, only to begin again, flashing the same “Blocked Number” message on the screen. She had a feeling it would keep ringing until she answered it. Hand trembling, she reached for the phone as it toppled off the counter. She couldn’t stop her voice from shaking as she answered. 

“H-hello?” 

“Little Lena,” an all too familiar voice answered. Instantly, Lena felt sick with fear. He just kept finding her. 

“You disappoint me, Lena,” Lex Luthor said, his deep voice that she once went to for comfort now something she only heard in her nightmares. “Why are you hurting me like this, dear sister? I backed off once you made clear that you wanted to change direction in Luthor Corp regardless of how I felt about it, because I was, believe it or not, proud that you were showing such passion for your work. Though,” his voice was suddenly a snarl, “don’t think it didn’t sting when I saw you were using Superman and his little girl scout of a cousin to get your way. Still, I left you alone, didn’t I? But you couldn’t be happy with that, could you? You got our mother arrested. What did she ever do but take care of you, Lena? She was just trying to make the world a better place for the both of us. What a terrible way to show your gratitude, sister. And now, to add insult to injury, I’ve just heard you were spotted flying around the city with the Girl of Steel herself. Looking pretty chummy with one another, apparently. You know I’ve always tolerated your attraction to women. But really, Lena, Supergirl? And I thought Lois Lane was pathetic.” 

Lena blinked back tears, forcing her voice to steady itself. She would not let Lex think he still held any power over her. 

“How did you get this phone into my apartment, Lex?”

“Oh, you know I won’t reveal my hand, sister.” 

“What do you want from me?”

“From you, Lena? Nothing. Not anymore. You’re out of chances, my dear. I would rather see Luthor Corp and the family name burned to the ground before continuing to let you tarnish it. No, there’s nothing left to say or do, darling. I just wanted to keep you listening long enough for the timer to run out. Goodbye, Lena.”

Lena heard a loud ‘click’ come from the burner phone, followed by a high pitched whirring. Realizing the peril she was in, she threw phone as far away from her as she could manage. It landed against the marble tile of the bathroom down the hall with a hard ‘thunk’, and exploded. Before she could even scream, a wave of fire and pure explosive force hit her harder than she could have possibly imagined, slamming against the far wall of the living room. She hit the ground, and as her vision darkened, she looked out to the view of National City outside her balcony. 

“Supergirl,” she whispered, and succumbed to the darkness. 

*

Well…that was a lot grosser than she expected it to be. Kara rinsed herself off in the bay water, preferring the briny dampness it brought over being covered in, basically, alien boogers. The DEO agents were all following suit, some pulling their slightly paralyzed friends in with them to help them rinse off, too. Alex assured her it would wear off, but she was sure to remind her, again, that the temporary paralysis of the agents could have been avoided entirely if she had showed up on time. 

“Alex, I told you that I got here as fast as I could. You know, I don’t just sit around all day waiting for some big bad alien to show up.”

“Huh,” Alex said, “that’s funny. Because I could have sworn you sent me a text today that said, and I quote: ‘So bored. Wish some big bad alien would show up to give me something to do.’ Or am I imagining things?”

Kara scoffed, putting her hands on her hips indignantly. 

“Psh. Yeah. Well. I was bored. But then something came up.” 

“Oh, yeah? What?”

Kara didn’t know why, but she felt embarrassed to tell her that she was with Lena. 

“Just…work related stuff. I do have a day job, you know.” 

“I know…just…I hate putting my agents in danger when it’s not necessary. Okay? Not all the threats we come across are…snot monsters,” Alex said, grimacing. 

“Yeah, I know. I’ll try harder next time.” 

Kara pulled her phone out of the water-tight pocket that had been added to her suit. Thank you, Winn, and saw that she had two missed text messages from a number she didn’t recognize. 

Hi, Kara, this is Lena Luthor’s assistant, Jess. I hate to bother you, but do have any idea where Ms. Luthor is? I seem to have…lost track of her…somehow.  
I couldn’t think of anyone else she might be with so I thought she might be with you. 

Kara smiled, remembering Lena intentionally ignoring her assistant. Technically, though, Jess had guessed wrong. Lena hadn’t been with Kara, she’d been with Supergirl. 

*CONTACT ADDED: JESS (L CORP)*

NEW TEXT MESSAGE TO: JESS (L CORP): Sorry, haven’t seen her since this morning. Maybe she went home? 

Put her phone back in its pocket. 

“Whatcha smiling about?” Alex asked, tilting her head towards her with a strange smirk on her face, like she knew something Kara didn’t know. Or was going find a way to find out. 

“Nothing. Just thanking Winn for keeping me from water logging any more cell phones.” 

“Oh,” Alex said, disappointed. 

J’onn came trotting down the beach towards Alex and Kara, face worried. 

“Supergirl, you might want to check this out. I just heard report of a fire in an apartment building. Sounds like the source of the fire was from some kind of explosion.” 

“Where at?” Kara said, fist clenched at her sides, ready to take off to do some more good for National City. 

“A block east of L Corp, on 5th.”

Kara’s stomach dropped. 

“Oh God, Lena,” she barely managed to say. Her throat felt like there was something stuck in it, choking her. She took off towards Lena’s apartment building, willing herself to fly faster than she had ever flown before. 

She rocketed though the city, weaving sloppily between the buildings, nearly crashing into one or two of them. It was like she couldn’t see straight, like nothing around her was real. She fought to catch her breath as her ribs felt like they would crack open. Within seconds she was at Lena’s apartment building, and her worst fear was realized: someone had set a bomb off in Lena Luthor’s apartment. 

Kara blasted through the already fractured glass of the balcony door and was hit with the heat of the blazing apartment.

“Lena!” she screamed. Before she could listen for a response, she blew out the fire with a gust of her ice breath. 

“Lena!” she screamed again. Her heart pounded, harder and faster by the second. She blinked past stinging tears as she looked around the apartment to find Lena. A hallway of the apartment was completely black, destroyed. The damage spread out from there. If she was in that hallway when the blast went off…

Rao, please, let her be okay. 

“Lena!” her scream was more and more desperate with each try. Finally, she spotted a limp form in a black dress, crumpled into the ground in the living room.

“Oh, God,” Kara exclaimed, rushing to Lena’s side. “Lena? Lena? Oh my God.” She listened for a heartbeat. Every second that passed that she couldn’t hear it, her panic grew. “Lena!” she shrieked, shaking her. 

Finally, she picked up on a heartbeat. She finally let herself take a breath. Her whole body shook. 

“J’onn! I need a medic here now!”

“Supergirl, what’s happening?” J’onn asked. 

“Someone set a bomb off in Lena Luthor’s apartment.” She let a desperate cry escape her lips. “Get down here with a medic now!” 

Her voice was foreign to her. It was shrill, frantic. She felt like if she were to take a wrong step or fall, she was break into a thousand pieces like porcelain. Without realizing it, she had scooped Lena into her lap, sobbing. 

“A unit just arrived at the building. Can you get transport Lena down to the team?” 

“I don’t…” Kara couldn’t breathe. “I don’t know if I should move her.” 

“Listen to me, Supergirl,” J’onn said. “The damage to that level of the building is too extensive. I can’t get my team up there. I need you to get yourself and Lena down here before there’s a collapse.” 

Supergirl picked Lena up carefully, blocking out images of sunsets and skylines and impossibly green eyes. She flew out of the apartment, and down to an ambulance waiting near the entrance. A crew was waiting put Lena on a gurney. 

“Be careful,” Kara pleaded with them. Lena looked so small and fragile as she was loaded onto the ambulance. It scared Kara to see Lena this way.

A strong hand gripped her shoulder from behind her. 

“What happened?” J’onn asked. 

“I don’t…” Kara tried to say, barely able to speak past thick sobs the likes of which she hadn’t had since she was very small. She couldn’t stop herself. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t calm herself. “J’onn, I was here…I should have known…” 

“Shh…Kara. Shh,” John soothed, pulling her to his chest and smoothing her hair in soft, comforting strokes. “Take a breath in. Hold it. Now let it out, slowly. Good. Breathe in again, slowly. And now out again. There you go. Keep breathing like that. You’re alright. It’s gonna be okay.” 

Kara kept her head buried in J’onn’s chest, feeling like a child in her father’s embrace. She breathed, hard and slow, until the tears slowed. She blinked several times, pulling away from J’onn, and willed herself to stop embarrassing herself so. Her entire body began to tingle as she willed herself to find calm. She was suddenly incredibly drained and tired. 

Kara wiped her nose on her sleeve, feeling incredibly foolish.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked. Kara didn’t know when she had showed up. 

“Yeah,” Kara said, waving her off, “I’m fine.” She attempted a chuckle to make everything seem okay, but it sounded pretty pathetic. 

“Why don’t you head home? We’ve got everything under control.”

“No. No. I’m not done here. There are other people in that building.”

“Everyone has been evacuated. Everyone is alright.”

When had that happened? 

“Well…what about the people above Lena’s floor?”

“They were directed to the roof and rescued by helicopter, J’onn replied.

“Okay, well then I’m going with Lena. Someone has to look after her”

“Kara,” Alex said softly, visibly concerned for her sister. “We’re going to take good care of Lena, I promise.”

“You can’t know if anything or anyone else is still going to come after her. She needs me to protect her!” 

“She’s already en route to the DEO with several armored vehicles escorting her. She’s perfectly safe with us. Okay?” Alex was treating Kara as if she was some incredibly fragile thing, and it irritated Kara immensely. 

“Fine,” she spat. “I’ll go home. But you have to promise me you’ll call as soon as you find anything out. Got it?” 

Alex nodded. 

Kara nodded, and lifted off the ground to fly towards home. She was angry, suddenly. At her own weakness when Lena had needed her most, and at the way Alex and J’onn had tiptoed around her as if she couldn’t handle herself. 

She was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK I FOUND A PLOT BESIDES LENA AND KARA JUST PINING LIKE OBLIVIOUS JERKS. Ps if my formatting is hard to read its bc up til this point i forgot that none of your meticulous formatting, italicizing, and whatnot, transfers to a03 and at this point I've just run out of steam. but like. I TRIED. I actually have the next chapter like half written and I'll get back to it come Monday. lemme know how I'm doing so far!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's fine...everything is fine...

When Kara got back to her apartment she was sure that she was too worried about Lena to try to sleep. And yet, after an all-encompassing fatigue had compelled her to rest her head on her couch, just for a minute, she must have fallen asleep. The next thing she knew, her phone was ringing, and it was five in the morning. She cursed herself for not being awake to keep tabs on how Lena was doing. She had apparently missed two calls from Alex already, and she swallowed hard, telling herself it wasn’t bad news. 

“How is she?”

“Good morning, sunshine!” 

Kara was not in the mood for her sister’s sass. 

“Alex. Seriously.” 

“She’s gonna be fine.” Kara made a large sigh of relief. “She has a pretty decent concussion and she inhaled a lot of smoke but she’s already coming around. We’re gonna keep here for a few days for observation. I’m hesitant to send her to a regular hospital until we’ve fully assessed the situation.” 

“Right. Whoever set that bomb off might still be out there. Are you keeping an eye on her?”

Alex let out an irritated groan. 

“Yes. I am. Even though, just so you know, I’ve been up all night.” 

Kara bit her lip, feeling guilty for how much she had expected from Alex.

“Well. Why don’t you go home and get some rest? I’ll come down to the DEO and relieve you for a while.” 

Alex didn’t argue with that. Realizing that, oh yeah, Kara still had a day job as an underappreciated reporter, she sent a text to Snapper.

NEW TEXT MESSAGE TO: JERK FACE BOSS: Doing some research on a building explosion from last night. I’ll have a rough draft with what I find this afternoon.  
Surprisingly, considering the early hour, Snapper replied. 

JERK FACE BOSS: I could give a rats ass. 

JERK FACE BOSS: Keep it under 800 words, Danvers.

As much as she missed Cat Grant, Kara had to admit that there was more flexibility in her schedule working for a cranky editor who only had her on the payroll because he had no choice. 

Getting a whiff of something awful, she realized she had fallen asleep, unshowered, in last night’s suit…the one that had been covered in alien snot, salt water, and ash. 

Yeah…shower first, she thought, and then maybe I’ll throw this suit out. 

*

Alex hung up the phone, rubbing her eyes with exhaustion. When she looked up, Lena Luthor was staring at her from her hospital bed in the clear glass room Alex was standing guard outside of. Her hair was tousled, face still marked with several soot marks beneath an oxygen mask, but her eyes were wide and penetrating, locked in on Alex. With the condition Lena was in, Alex couldn’t help but compare the intense yet somehow distant gaze to looking at patient zero of a zombie apocalypse. Alex knew that because of the concussion, Lena was likely feeling confused and disoriented. It didn’t help that she was being held in a secret government facility she didn’t recognize. She didn’t know if it would help to speak to Lena, but Alex figured that if she were in her shoes, she would want someone to tell her what the hell was going on. 

I just want to go to bed, Alex thought with a sigh. 

“You should be asleep,” she said to Lena, still unnerved by her unbroken gaze. 

Lena pulled down her oxygen mask.

“You saved my life again, Agent Danvers. How considerate of you.”

“I didn’t do the saving, Ms. Luthor.”

Lena’s shoulders tensed, she closed her eyes for long enough that Alex half wondered if she fell asleep again. Then they snapped back open, startling Alex. She took a breath from her oxygen mask, finally realizing that breathing was somewhat important.

Was she always this odd?, Alex thought.

“You mean Supergirl, right?” Lena asked, holding the mask close to take breaths between sentences. “You have to keep her away from me.”

Alex balked slightly, confused.

“Why?”

“Lex Luthor.” 

“Was he responsible for the attack?”

“Of course he was.”

“Great, more trouble from the Luthors. As if you and your family weren’t collectively causing enough trouble.” 

Alex instantly regretted the words that came out of her mouth. Her lack of sleep was making her cranky. She could tell she had hurt Lena. 

“I’m sorry,” Alex said. “Look, we already know Lex is a threat to K-I mean, Supergirl. She’s Superman's cousin. And she just put his mother in jail. It’s an occupational hazard, and Supergirl can handle herself. So don’t worry about it, okay?”

“No,” Lena said, “No. It’s more…personal.” 

Lena was obviously struggling to speak, either because whatever she was trying to say was uncomfortable or because her concussed head was making it hard to find the words. Alex knew she should insist that Lena sleep and not push herself, but she was intrigued, maybe even worried. 

“What do you mean?”

“He knows that…he…he thinks that…” Lena sighed, pulling a breath from her mask.

Alex realized that Lena was trying to divulge something very intimate to Alex. And not because she wanted to. It felt wildly familiar. 

“He thinks I’m involved with Supergirl.” 

“Well you’ve associated with her plenty of times, yes.” 

Lena groaned.

“Romantically, Agent Danvers. I mean romantically.” 

Alex knew her bluntness was from struggling past the fog of her concussion, but she couldn’t hide the shock on her face. I mean…that was just…ridiculous. She knew Kara was straight. There was no way she and Alex were both gay. It was…like…statistically impossible. And she would have told Alex if she was. So if Lex was convinced that Supergirl and Lena were involved, it would be because…

“Oh. You’re…oh.” 

Come on Alex, she thought, you literally just did this. Don’t react the way you wouldn’t have wanted people to react about your sexuality. 

“What do you want me to tell Supergirl?” Alex asked. 

Lena shut her eyes again. Maybe from embarrassment. Maybe from regret. Alex couldn’t tell. 

“Don’t tell her why. Don’t tell anyone. Just…make something up. I can’t…I don’t know, I can’t think right now.” 

“It’s okay, Ms. Luthor. Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll handle it.” 

Lena smiled, finally breaking away from her blank, stone faced gaze. 

“Thank you,” she said, strapping the mask back onto her face in her own way of indicating that the conversation was over, and let herself drift back to sleep. 

By the time Alex left Lena’s room and wandered away from the medical wing, trying to think of what to do next with the information she was just given, Kara had zipped in to the DEO. She looked less distraught that she had the last time Alex saw her, but she still could tell that her mind was entirely focused on the safety of Lena Luthor. She wondered for a moment that maybe…just maybe…

Nah.  
*  
“Are you okay?” Alex asked.

“Me? I should be asking you that.” 

Alex pulled away from Kara to look her in the eye.

“Well…you just…really freaked out last night.” 

Kara waved her off, unable to meet Alex’s gaze. 

“That? Psh. That was nothing.”

“Nothing looked a whole lot like a panic attack, Kara.”

Kara didn’t want to hear anything else that Alex had to say. She didn’t have a panic attack. She was Supergirl. Supergirl didn’t panic. 

“Don’t worry about it, Alex. Just go get some sleep. I’ll keep an eye on Lena.” 

Alex continued to stare at Kara, hands planted firmly on her hips, almost willing Kara to look at her sister. When Kara wouldn’t, Alex backed off. 

“I guess I should get going. I smell pretty bad, don’t I?” 

“Just awful. Really.” Kara smiled for a moment, playful as usual, and then her smile faltered. “Is she okay?” 

Alex remembered what Lena had told her, and she had to think of something to say, fast. 

“She’ll be alright, Kara. Just…”

“What?” she asked, nervously. 

“Just, be careful, okay? Lena’s a little out of it right now, but she said something about you being in danger. I’ll mention it to J’onn before I leave, but it’s best to be cautious until we know what’s going on for sure. And give her some space for now, alright? She needs to get as much rest as she can.” 

Kara scoffed.

“I wasn’t planning on smothering her, Alex. It’ll be fine. And I’ll be fine. Now please get a shower and get some rest.”

Alex nodded. Something about her body language suggested to Kara that there was something she wasn’t telling her. But, Kara figured that if Alex thought it was important that she would tell her. Right? 

Alex left her alone near the medical wing. From where she stood, she could see into the glass-encased medical room that was about twenty feet away. She stayed there for a minute, focusing in on the sight of Lena in the hospital bed, letting herself get used to the sight of it before trying to get closer and possibly overreacting again. Hooked up to IV’s, wearing an oxygen mask, and dressed a simple white medical gown, Lena Luthor looked incredibly small. Her dark hair was messy and coated in a fine layer of ash, yesterday’s makeup was now streaked all around her eyes, and a large bruise was forming on her forehead. 

Kara blinked away the threat of tears. She was being ridiculously emotional lately. She stayed in place, hearing Alex’s voice in her head to give her some space. But why? There was nothing wrong with her just…keeping an eye on Lena. She was sleeping. She wouldn’t even know she was there. Yeah…

Somehow, Lena’s medical room smelled like the smoke that had filled Lena’s apartment. Even more surprising than that was how it somehow had mingled with the floral perfume Lena wore. Kara smiled, taking it as a sign of Lena’s resilience. 

She was alright, Kara told herself, sighing with relief. 

To the right of the bed was Lena’s black dress she was wearing the night before, cut up from the medical team, charred, and lying on a vacant chair. 

“So much for keeping your dress from getting dirty.” 

A muffled laugh abruptly cut through Kara’s senses, and her head snapped over to look at the bed. Lena’s eyes fluttered open slightly, pulling the oxygen mask away from her mouth.

“I didn’t really like that dress, anyway.” 

Kara stood in place, afraid to move. Any movement she could think to make involved hugging Lena Luthor very tightly, and she was sure Lena wasn’t in good condition for that. 

“You, ah,” Kara struggled to say, “you should be sleeping.”

“And you shouldn’t be here,” Lena replied in a tone that was completely unreadable. Kara didn’t know what she meant by it.

“What?” she asked. 

Lena shook her head, keeping whatever she wanted to say inside. Kara was washed over with guilt, thinking that she had an idea why Lena wanted her to stay away.

“Lena” she said, “I’m so sorry about what happened. I should have known something was wrong when I dropped you off. I should have known. And I didn’t. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” 

Despite herself, Lena laughed. It was weak, but it was something. 

“Of course you are. You’re…too good for your own good. And I’m not…I’m not upset. How could I…” she took a breath from her mask, wheezing slightly, “I need you to stop looking out for me, Supergirl. I need you to…stay away from me.” 

Kara blinked, unknowingly placing her hands on her hips. How could she say that? Lena needed Kara to look out for her now more than ever. Someone had attacked her in her home. 

“Why?” Kara asked. 

“Because I asked you to,” Lena replied. 

Kara was speechless. She wasn’t just going to…she wasn’t…she…

“Alright,” Kara said quietly. “If that’s what you want.” 

Despite Lena’s earlier assurances, Kara couldn’t help but feel that Lena was asking her to leave because she was upset with her. Kara tried, at least, to keep the hurt she felt from showing on her face. 

“I guess I’ll go, then. Get some sleep.”

Lena didn’t meet her gaze. 

“Thank you, Supergirl.”

Kara left Lena’s room silently, feeling suddenly overdressed and ridiculous in her blue and red suit. 

For a good while, Kara paced the main floor of the DEO, not knowing what to do with herself. She certainly couldn’t watch over Lena if Lena wanted nothing to do with her. She couldn’t talk to Alex right now. She couldn’t go to CatCo yet without any kind of story in hand. She certainly wasn’t going to sit around and sulk. What did she have to sulk about? Lena told her to stay away. What was so bad about that? It’s not like they had ever really been friends. They were nothing to each other, apparently. Kara was just…doing her job when she saved her all those times. And Lena had been as gracious as anyone could be expected to be. And now that was over. There was no reason to feel rejected or something over it. Kara was being ridiculous.  
I was just doing my job. And that’s what I’ll keep doing, then. 

 

Kara spent the rest of her day doing whatever she could think of to keep herself busy. Stopping robbers, preventing car accidents, helping old ladies cross the street, anything she could to make herself feel useful. Kara let Snapper know that she had come up empty with any information on the attack on Lena Luthor. “Join the club,” he had grumbled, as no one knew anything to go on other than a generic message from L Corp, stating that Lena was “in perfect health, and taking a respite from her day to day work in an undisclosed location for an undisclosed amount of time.” The line had been fed to Jess from the DEO, though not after she had given them a piece of her mind about it. 

Eventually, Kara gave up on the day, and decided to go home. However, a quick call from J’onn later, and she realized that her day was going to get even more complicated.

“She’s asking to see a friend of hers.”

“Who?”

“Kara Danvers,” J’onn said. 

“Oh,” Kara replied, “well that makes things…difficult.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I had a crazy weird weekend. IN MY DEFENSE I had every intention of this chapter being pure 'OH MY GOD LENA IS OKAY' fluff but apparently there is an angst monster lurking within. Next chapter will be fluffier I PROMISE. 
> 
> I didn't put as much length or effort into this as I thought I was gonna but I wanted this out before tonight so there isn't some canon crap in the new episode to ruin my mojo. Whether or not I'm gonna keep this side by side with canon after this point idk. Probably not. Especially if Mon El isn't going away any time soon...  
> ANYWAY thank you guys so much for your support and feedback, I honestly had no idea anyone would even read this, and I've continued to be really amazed and floored by you guys so thank you so much!!!! See you soon ;)  
> (PS look who've finally getting a handle on notes and general formatting YAY)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kara is making impulsive decisions and Alex is enjoying her new girlfriend too much to care...

Alex was dead. 

She had to be.

She had died and gone to heaven.

Because that was the only way it was possible that she was currently sitting on her couch being straddled by Maggie Sawyer, kissing Maggie Sawyer, being surrounded by the scent of Maggie Sawyer’s perfume, being grinded against by Maggie Sawyer just enough to make her crazy…

Yep. Dead. 

Maggie removed her lips from Alex’s neck for a moment, her breath hot.

“Hey, Danvers?”

Alex shuddered.

“Mmhmm?” was as she was able to manage. 

“Your phone is ringing,” Maggie said. 

“I don’t care,” Alex replied, pulling her in to a kiss that was admittedly sloppy, but Alex didn’t care, she just didn’t want Maggie to stop touching her. 

Maggie pulled away again. 

“Are you sure?”

Alex practically growled at her out of frustration. 

“Many years of repressed sexual tension is sorta spilling out right now, I could care less who is on the phone.”

“It could be work.”

“I have the night off,” Alex whispered, pressing light kisses against Maggie’s collarbone, desperate for them to go back to what they were doing a second ago. 

Maggie sucked in a breath, tilting her head back.

“It could be an emergency,” she said. Her voice had the slightest whimper in it, and Alex was determined to hear it again. 

“It’s a good thing they have Supergirl, then,” Alex said, sneaking a hand under Maggie’s blouse. 

Her skin is so soft how is she even real?, Alex thought. 

“Alex,” Maggie whined. 

“Maggie,” Alex replied, mimicking her tone. She was half tempted to just flip Maggie onto the couch and take control of the situation. That would probably get her to drop it. Maggie pulled away again, looking down at Alex with those big brown eyes Alex kept finding herself getting lost in. Maggie took Alex’s hand, and placed her cell phone in it. 

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “It’s like you don’t want me to be happy.”

Maggie laughed, climbing off of her. “Yeah, that must be it.”

Sighing, Alex answered her phone.

“I took the night off for a reason, J'onn,” she grumbled. "I have a hot date."

Maggie smacked her, feigning offense. 

“My apologies, Agent Danvers, but I thought you would want to know about this.”

“What is it?”

“Lena has asked for visitors. Specifically, Kara Danvers.”

Maybe Alex should have been more surprised by this, but Maggie was currently curling up next to Alex, playing with her hair, placing her left hand on Alex’s thigh…

“Okay, well, Kara has played the double identity game with Lena before, I’m sure she can handle herself.”

She was about to hang up on J’onn, when she remembered the little complication Lena had presented her with, and that she hadn’t told anyone about it yet. 

“Crap. Umm, listen J’onn, there’s something I need to tell you.” She glanced at Maggie, who was entirely too adorable for her own good, and, regrettably, had to separate herself from her for a moment to continue the conversation more privately. 

“Are you sure it’s a good idea for her to see Kara right now?” Alex said, moving to sit on her bed so she wouldn’t be overheard as easily by Maggie. She didn’t want to have any secrets with Maggie, but Kara’s identity and Lena’s sexuality weren’t her secrets to keep. 

“Well, other than the risk of exposing Kara that trying to explain how a civilian would be allowed into the DEO, I don’t see a problem with it. Besides, Kara already made up her mind that she wants to go through with it, and I doubt I can talk her out of it.”

“I know, but…there’s something you need to know. But you have to keep this between us, okay?”

“What is it?”

Alex sighed. 

“Lex Luthor was responsible for the bomb.”

She could practically see J’onn put his hands on his hips in annoyance.

“And you didn’t think to tell me until now?”

“It’s not just that. Lena thinks his next move is to target Supergirl specifically.”

“Because of his mother?”

“No…because…” Alex sighed. “Lena has showed a special interest in Supergirl.”

J’onn paused. 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Alex rolled her eyes. 

“Lena Luthor is gay and Lex thinks she’s dating Supergirl.”

J’onn paused again, for a longer time than before. 

“Oh.”

“No one knows. About her. She only told me because she knew Supergirl was in danger and I’m only telling you because I have to.”

“Well…is she?”

“Is she what?”

“Is she…dating Supergirl?”

“What? No! Of course not.”

“Okay. I just wanted to make sure. I didn’t know you were…interested in women until you told me so I…didn’t want to assume anything of Kara, either.”  
Alex couldn’t help but smile. He meant well, but obviously he was wrong. She would know if Kara was…

“I understand, J’onn. But she obviously doesn’t want Supergirl to know about her. And since I don’t know how comfortable she is with Kara…I don’t know if she wants to see her to talk to her about everything that’s happened. And since Kara is,” she glanced over at Maggie, who was flipping through channels on the television, “well, do you get where I’m going with this?”

“Yes,” J’onn said, “I just don’t know what you expect me to do.” 

She looked at Maggie again, who was now looking back at her, looking concerned. She mouthed the words “everything okay?” to Alex. Alex gave her a thumbs up.

“Just…mediate any conversation Kara and Lena have. She probably won’t be comfortable talking about her feelings if you’re in the room with them, right?”

“Don’t you think you’re better equipped to handle something like that, Alex?” J’onn asked. 

Alex was startled by something soft smacking her in the face. She looked up, and realized, judging by the fact that Maggie was now leaning against the top of the sofa, facing Alex, shirtless, that it had been her blouse that was tossed at her. Maggie had on a dark red bra that made her look…pretty irresistible. Alex’s jaw dropped. Maggie shrugged innocently. 

“Umm, it’s just temporary until I can figure out a solution. I’m sure you’ll do just fine, J’onn, I gotta go…” 

“But, Alex…”

“It’s my night off, J’onn, not my problem!” she said, and hung up. 

She felt herself moving towards Maggie as if it were out of her control, as if they were magnetic. 

“You,” she sighed, placing a gentle hand on the small of Maggie’s back, “are going to be the death of me.” 

Maggie smiled, gripping the back of Alex’s neck and pulling her closer.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Danvers.”

*

Lena was really sick of almost dying. 

Not because of the actual almost dying part. That was neither here nor there, no point in being afraid of something you can’t control. No, what was driving her insane was the uselessness she always felt afterwards. She was utterly incapable of keeping herself safe, she had to rely on people like Supergirl and Agent Danvers and everyone else to watch out for her, to rescue her time and time again. She had thought that the handgun she kept on her at all times was enough to make her feel safe, to defend herself, but here she was. Yet again. Owing her life to other people. She didn’t like to owe anything to anyone. 

Okay. There was a slight chance that Lena was feeling sorry for herself.   
She couldn’t help it. Every inch of her body hurt. She couldn’t think straight. Breathing was now difficult and painful. And she was stuck in a secret government facility just in case her brother wasn’t done trying to kill her yet. And Supergirl…

She sighed. 

There was no reason for her to be so miserable about the idea of keeping her distance from Supergirl. They were never really that close, anyway. And it was best for both of them. The sooner they were far away from each other, the better. They would both be safer for it. So she had to just focus on getting better. The sooner she got better the sooner she could get away from Supergirl and the people she worked with. And she knew one thing that always was able to make her feel better…

“Lena!” called a familiar voice. Lena couldn’t help but smile. 

Kara Danvers practically ran into Lena’s medical room, Director Henshaw following her closely. She looked nervous.

“Are you okay? What happened? Alex told me there was an emergency? I was blindfolded because I’m not allowed to know where I am. Is everything okay?”

Lena shook her head, happy to know that despite everything else, Kara was still Kara. Rambling, adorable Kara. She took a moment to admire the sight of her. Hair half tied up, curled perfectly, blue button up shirt tucked into high waist pants, kind eyes gleaming behind black rimmed glasses. She was, in that moment, the most perfect thing Lena had ever seen. 

“I’m sorry if coming here distressed you in any way,” Lean said, “It’s just a safety precaution. Lex is apparently not done throwing his little tantrum.”

Lena saw something change in Kara’s facial expression. It was there and gone so fast that it was barely noticeable. But Lena saw, for that brief moment, a flash of dark rage wash over Kara’s face, only to disappear again into her usual expression of calm compassion.

“Lena, I’m so sorry,” she said. 

“It’s okay,” Lena replied, “Just a few bumps and bruises. I am glad that you’re here. I’m sorry for the circumstances surrounding it but…admittedly, I needed to see a familiar face.”

“Don’t worry about it. I was just glad to hear that you’re safe.” 

Unknowingly, Kara had moved to stand next to Lena’s bed, and was now taking one of Lena’s hands in hers, gripping on to her tightly. Lena inadvertently gasped. She would never get used to how physically affectionate Kara could be, and how flustered her affection made Lena. Beneath the warm glow of Kara’s infectious smile, Lena almost forgot that Director Henshaw was still in the room with them, invading what felt like a private moment. 

“Um, could Kara and I have a moment alone?” Lena said to Hank.

Hank seemed to stiffen at Lena’s request. 

“Considering that…Ms. Danvers is a civilian, it’s best that I oversee this visit so that she is not subjected to any classified information.”

Kara flashed Director Henshaw a look, one that was unusually cold and sharp edged. Lena looked at her quizzically. 

“Are you sure about that Director Henshaw?” Kara asked, irritated. “I’m not exactly an unknowing citizen. My sister does work here, after all.” 

Hank seemed to falter for a moment, almost considering backing down, but he didn’t. 

“I’m under orders, Ms Danvers.”

Kara’s head tilted, confused. Lena felt that there was some hidden element to this conversation that she couldn’t pick up on. Kara let out a heavy breath, still clearly peeved, but not willing to push the matter any further. She turned back to Lena, plastering on her famous smile. 

“So,” Kara said, sitting on the edge of Lena’s bed. “How are you feeling? Do you need anything?” 

Lena hadn’t forgotten that Kara was still holding her hand. She pushed away memories of their embrace in Kara’s office the other day, because letting herself remember just made her so desperately want to be in her arms again. It hurt, to be so close to someone and yet so far. 

“The fine medical professionals here in this…odd secret facility…have everything handled. Beyond that, all I needed was to see a friendly face. And now you’re here. I consider myself to be a pretty lucky girl at the moment.” 

Lena could hear herself getting that tone. That high pitched, sappy tone she got any time she had a crush on a girl. Paired with a ridiculously large grin she could already feel straining the muscles on her face. She never was able to control it. She just hoped it wasn’t as obvious to Kara as it was to her. 

“Well I’m glad you have kept your optimism,” Kara said, smiling brightly at her. Lena couldn’t help but be locked in her gaze for a moment. It was hard to look away from something so beautiful. 

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that. Probably longer than was socially acceptable. Staring at one another, hands intertwined. There was something sad behind Kara’s smile that Lena couldn’t understand. Finally Kara looked away, her eyes leading down to their joined hands. Kara began making small circles on the back of Lena’s hand with her thumb, considering it like she was looking at something she couldn’t understand, like something written in a foreign language or a piece of abstract art. Lena stayed frozen, afraid to say or do anything because she didn’t want to scare Kara away. She was always scaring people away. She didn’t think she could stand to lose Kara now. Not when it felt like she had never needed anything more in her whole life than the awe inspiring simplicity of Kara Danvers sitting next to her, tracing circles on her hands. 

A shuffling sound snapped Lena out of her trance. Director Henshaw was still in the room, shifting his weight from one leg to the other uncomfortably, looking at the opposite side of the room they were sitting on as if he felt he was imposing by watching them. Which, to be fair, he was. Kara seemed to be pulled out of the stillness of the previous moment as well, pulling her hands away from Lena’s to rest in her own lap. Lena tried to hide her disappointment. 

“How, ah,” Kara said, stumbling a little over her words as she adjusted her glasses, “how much longer are they going to keep you here?” 

“Good question. Director Henshaw?” 

Hank cleared his throat. 

“Medically speaking, I’ve been told that you’re to be kept under observation for another day, and after you will likely be discharged. However…”

“I’m not safe yet,” Lena said. 

“No,” Hank replied. “We’re working to find who planted the bomb in your apartment. Until then, there’s no way to guarantee your safety if you leave our facility.”

“Well, Director,” Lena said, “as much as I appreciate your concern, it’s really not up to you what I do or do not do to keep myself safe. I don’t wish to belittle my gratitude for the continued efforts of yourself and Supergirl to keep me safe, but I also cannot stand to be a burden to you any longer.”

“Lena, you’re not a burden,” Kara interrupted. “I mean, I can’t imagine how you would be. To Supergirl. She…ah, I’m sure she wants nothing more than for you to be safe.” 

“I understand that, Kara, but it’s not her decision to make. I can’t pretend that I’m not putting her and these people in more danger than they already are by continuing to require their protective services, considering that it only irritates Lex’s temper further to know that I…associate with Superman’s cousin. I’m perfectly capable of hiring a personal protection team for now.”

“Lena, that’s ridiculous,” Kara protested, “You can’t…” 

“I’ve already made up my mind, Kara. The only thing for me to worry about now is where to stay now that my apartment is a bit…worse for wear.”

“You can stay with me!” Kara blurted out. Her eyes went wide for a second, like she didn’t realize what she was saying until it had already been said. She blinked a few times, and her smile was back. 

“Miss Danvers?” Director Henshaw asked, his tone more of a warning than a question. 

Kara turned to him. 

“What? It’s a good idea! It’s probably best for Lena to lay low for a little while, right? And this way you can still keep an eye on her on the down low. You know, because of Alex. That is if it’s okay with Lena for you to still keep an eye on her. And no one will suspect a thing, because she’ll just be staying with a friend while they rebuild her apartment!” 

Hank’s eyes widened. 

“It’s a good idea! It’s is.” She looked at Lena. “It’s a good idea, right?”

Lena had a hard time finding her voice. Kara Danvers was asking her to come and live with her…temporarily, that is. 

“Kara, I would hate to impose on you…”

“You wouldn’t be imposing!” Kara said, laughing awkwardly, “You wouldn’t be imposing. Really. It’ll be great! It’ll be like a sleepover! A…long…sleepover.” Lena couldn’t tell if Kara was trying to convince Lena, Director Henshaw, or herself, that this was a good idea. Either way, she kept powering through her line of logic. “I mean what else are you gonna do? Stay in a hotel? That’s lonely. And no fun.” She turned to Hank. “It’s a good idea.” 

Director Henshaw’s arms were crossed, looking at Kara as if she were his child and she was trying to convince him to let her buy a candy bar at the checkout line of a grocery store. 

“If that’s what you wish, Ms. Danvers, I can make it work.” 

Kara beamed at him. 

“Great! What do you say, Lena?” 

Lena stared at her, in almost total disbelief. 

“How could I say no to such a generous offer?” 

*

 

J’onn all but dragged Kara out of Lena’s room. 

“Just what exactly are you thinking?”

“What?” Kara asked. “It’s a great plan! I can keep Lena safe as Supergirl without her even knowing that Supergirl is keeping an eye on her!” 

“Yes, but,” J’onn rubbed the skin between his eyes, frustrated by her optimism. “Don’t you think it’s going to be a bit hard to hide your identity from Lena when she is living in the same apartment as you?” 

Kara filled her cheeks with air before deflating them in a long dramatic breath. She hadn’t thought of that. 

She shook her head, waving J’onn’s doubt off.

“It’ll be fine. I can handle it.”

J’onn looked at her, brows raised, like he was trying to decide something about Kara.

“What?” she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders.

“Nothing,” he replied, unconvincingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT HAVE I DONE???? I did a little bit of arm flailing while editing this chapter, not gonna lie to you. 
> 
> I couldn't just watch yesterday's ep and not be compelled to write some cute ass Sanvers because OH MY GOD.  
> (It was almost enough to make me forget that Lena wasn't even in that episode. ALMOST. But NAH)
> 
> It's amazing how much writing I can get done when I'm laid off for at least another month. You guys are gonna start hounding me when I don't update like every day at this point. Jk I love you guys and you are all amazing and I appreciate the hell out of you for continuing to leave lovely messages and whatnot. 
> 
> I had no idea when I started this chapter this morning that I was gonna write myself into this ridiculous situation but HERE WE ARE. Bc Kara is SMITTEN even if she doesn't know it yet and Lena is POWERLESS to Kara's adorableness. Seriously these two are gross. And J'onn is just in the background shaking his head like "my gay daughters are going to be the death of me but I love them" 
> 
> Once again i have no idea where this is going but goddamn I'm having fun. Stay tuned ;D


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone can see that Lena moving in with Kara is maybe, POSSIBLY, a bad idea...except for Kara.

“You did _what_?” Alex practically yelled.

Kara was dodging her questioning, rushing around her apartment as she tidied things up for, apparently, the arrival of her new roommate. J’onn had one job, Alex thought to herself, irritated. Make sure to uphold Lena’s wish that she and Supergirl stayed away from each other for the time being. And the exact opposite had happened, except Lena just didn’t know it.

“I don’t understand why you and J’onn are acting like this is the end of the world,” Kara replied, carrying a large bundle of blankets and extra pillows out of her closet and tossing them onto the couch with a dramatic ‘thwump’.

“I’m sorry, I seem to be the only one that recalls that Lena specifically asked you to stay away from her.”

Now Kara was dragging out the vacuum cleaner. Alex couldn’t remember a time in recent memory that she had actually seen Kara clean her apartment.

Kara scoffed at her.

“No, she asked Supergirl to stay away from her.”

Alex wanted to shake her baby sister.

“You’re the same person, Kara!”

“I know that! Obviously!” She shooed Alex out of her way so she could plug in the vacuum. “But Lena doesn’t know that. And, besides, I don’t think she was thinking very clearly when she asked Supergirl to stay away from her, anyway. I mean, she needs me, Alex. Her jerk face brother is actively trying to kill her. I have to look out for her.”

Alex really just wished she could tell her why Lena did what she did. But it wouldn’t be right. But Kara was being so…frustrating.

“I know you think that she needs your help. And maybe she would be safer with Supergirl watching out for her. But…it’s not what she wants, and you have to respect that.”

Kara turned on the vacuum, ignoring her sister. Alex unplugged it.

“Hey!” Kara protested.

“Why do you think Lex is still coming after Lena? Huh? Don’t you think it has something to do with the fact that she’s teamed up with the cousin of his arch nemesis? Don’t you think that maybe, just maybe, continuing to hang around her as much as you have been only rubs salt in the wound and makes him more adamant to hurt the both of you? Have you even considered that you might just be making things worse?”

Kara sighed, looking at her feet like she did when she was scolded when they were kids.

“I know, okay? I know it’s more than likely that Supergirl is making Lena’s life more difficult. More dangerous. But…” Kara took a shaky breath. “The last time I turned my back on her, just for a minute, she almost died. I can’t let that happen again, Alex. I couldn’t live with myself. I care about her too much. So…if she’s here, with me, I can relax. I can keep her safe without her or Lex ever knowing that Supergirl is even in her life anymore. I just…I know you don’t agree with me on this. But it’s something I feel that I have to do.”

Alex considered her sister for a moment, noticing the slightest hint of tears forming in her eyes. She wondered at how much guilt and responsibility she held on her shoulders, even when she didn’t have to. Alex didn’t understand why Lena seemed to be Kara’s weakness, but she knew there was nothing she could say to change her mind. Alex pulled Kara into a hug, and Kara instantly gripped on to her tightly.

“Alright,” Alex said. “We’ll find a way to make it work. Have you put any thought into how you’re going to keep your identity a secret from Lex Luthor’s sister while she’s in the same apartment as you?”

Kara released Alex.

“Don’t worry, sis. I’ve got mad skills.” She scrunched her nose. “Yeah, okay, I regretted those words as soon as they left my mouth.”

“You’ve been hanging around Winn too much,” Alex replied.

“Oh!” Kara exclaimed suddenly, “I almost forgot! How was your date with Maggie?”

Some R-rated memories instantly came flooding back to Alex. A completely stupid grin washed over her face and she couldn’t make it go away.

“It was…good. It was really good.”

Kara smiled back at her smugly.

“Alex, you are blushing. Why are you blushing?”

Her sister was boring into her with her eyes, reading her like a book. And for the life of her, Alex couldn’t stop making herself think about what it sounded like when Maggie moaned. She let the bubbly feeling in her chest swell out into a giggle, hiding her smile behind her hands.

Kara feigned a shocked expression, clutching her heart. “Alex Danvers! You scoundrel!”

Alex smacked her, still giggling like a love struck idiot. If she weren’t so happy, she would be nauseated by herself.

“Last night was…oh my god…I’m not getting into detail, obviously, but oh my god! I just. I can’t even…oh my _god_.”

“I’m not gonna ask what ‘oh my god’ means in this context, because I don’t need to know, but I’m really happy for you. Now, are you gonna help clean or not?”

Alex was already headed to the door.

“Not!”

“Alex! I need your help!”

“Your plan, your problem! Now go write up that article I told you to write.”

Kara sighed.

“I don’t want to. It makes me feel icky.”

“Either this or no Lena Luthor sleepover.”

Kara pouted.

“Okay, Mom.”

 

*

 

Kara still felt icky about this.

She was supposed to be a hard hitting, truth seeking journalist. And instead, she was about to hand Snapper Carr a bunch of made up dishonest crap. She knew she had to do it as a part of the plan to make Lena safe. But still.

Icky.

She placed her story on Snapper’s desk, waiting for a response. He ignored her a minute, before picking it up and opening it, not making eye contact.

“What’s this?” he asked, even though he could very easily just read it himself and find out, and keep Kara from having to lie any more than she already had.

“Interview with Lena Luthor regarding the recent attack on her life, sir.”

Snapper glanced up from his reading, one eyebrow steeply raised.

“How’d you manage that?” he asked.

Kara shrugged her shoulders, adjusting her glasses nervously.

“Ms. Luthor didn’t want the story getting spun in a direction that was…unjust to her, so she asked me for a private interview.”

“Where is she?”

“Uh, I don’t know, sir. She had me brought to a secure location. Uh, blindfolded.”

He rolled his eyes. “How dramatic.” He snapped the folder with her story shut. “You do realize this reads less like a news piece and more like a gossip column from _Entertainment Weekly_ , right?”

“How do you mean, sir?”

 He rubbed his eyes, leaning back in his chair to address her with his full attention.

“I mean this story sounds like you’re repeating the gossip surrounding a tragic breakup between two A-List stars. Except that instead of Brad and Angelina we’ve got Lena Luthor and Supergirl.”

Kara laughed uncomfortably.

“What do you mean? It’s not like they’re…they’re dating or anything. That would be ridiculous.”

“Think a little more progressively, Miss Danvers,” he said, reaching into one of the drawers of his desk. He slapped a photo on top of the desk. “Someone submitted this photo to us the other day. They look like a little more than gal pals to me.”

The photo was grainy, probably taken from someone’s smartphone from a distance. The subject of the photo was Supergirl flying through the city, a smiling Lena Luthor in her arms. She rolled her eyes.

“Oh, come on, Snapper, Supergirl carries people around all the time. It’s…a convenient form of travel, I’m sure.”

“Uh huh,” Snapper replied in his typical condescending tone. “Well. Normally I’d shoot this down as useless fluff, but, since no one else has had the opportunity to get a statement from Ms. Luthor…I guess I have no choice but to run it. But next time try and actually interview your subject, and not just let them blather on about whatever topic they choose.”

Kara sighed, feeling like a disappointment to herself and her line of work because this whole thing was phonier than even he could guess. The whole thing was a fabrication. The few details of the attack in there were altered to give Lex less credit than he was due, and Alex and Lena had worked together to make a statement from her insinuating that Lena and Supergirl had parted ways due to the conflicts of their family ties. All Kara had to do was make it sound like it was her writing. She was irritated not only because the story was barely true, but because she had to go into detailed description about the fake falling out between Lena and Supergirl, aka her. It made her even more torn up about what Lena had said to her that day she visited her as Supergirl and told her to leave her alone, because she wondered how much of what Alex had told her to write was how Lena really felt. Did she really think that Supergirl was “condescending and distrustful”? Did Lena really think that she was “better off with a personal security team then waiting around to be saved by a Superman knock off?” Especially considering that Lena was right, that she probably would have been safer if she didn’t rely on Supergirl to save her that night, Kara’s heart felt heavier than she cared to admit.

“Right,” she said, defeated. “Will do. Thank you, sir.”

“Uh huh,” he replied.

Kara hurried out of his office, knowing she didn’t have much time before Lena was supposed to arrive at her apartment. As she rushed to the elevator, she collided into James.

“Hey, Kara. You okay?”

“Uh,” she replied, “Yeah. Actually, no. Did you have anything to do with that photo of Supergirl and Lena Luthor getting to Snapper’s desk?”

James sighed.

“Whoever took the picture emailed it directly to him. I couldn’t do anything about it, I’m sorry.”

Kara still scowled.

“He thinks Lena and Supergirl are…dating.”

James snapped his head back, brows furrowed.

“Well that’s obviously not true.”

“Yeah, obviously. But he has the power to make people think it’s true. And that would just be…ridiculous. And insulting. Can’t two powerful women be platonic friends who can hang out with each other without everyone questioning it? I mean…”

“Kara, Kara,” James interrupted. “I get what you’re saying. I’ll keep an eye on Snapper, and make sure that he doesn’t let the rumors get out of hand. But hey, it’s just gossip, right? No one ever pays attention to that stuff for long. Hey, maybe the Guardian will pop up again, do some do…gooding…and the whole thing will be forgotten.”

Kara groaned.

“Why do you keep bringing the Guardian up? Honestly, he’s just a pain in my butt.”

James frowned.

“Whatever you say. I’ll see you later?”

“Uh, yeah. Later. I, um, have to go. Lena’s staying at my place for a while. But…don’t tell anyone about it, okay?”

“Umm…yeah, sure,” James said, giving her a quizzical look.

It was the same strange look J’onn gave her when she decided to take Lena in. Oh well, no time to think about it now. She gave a quick courtesy grin before rushing into the elevator.

 

*

 

What was Lena thinking when she agreed to this?

Concussions did not agree with her.

Because here she was, in the back seat of a DEO car, being transported to Kara Danvers’ apartment. Where she would be staying. Until she figured out new living arrangements. Or until Lex was less keen on using up his seemingly endless amount of connections outside of jail to try and kill her. You know, whichever came first. And the sad thing was, that even though she should have been running through her well-rehearsed playbook of avoiding romantic feelings with women for the sake of self-preservation by now, she couldn’t wait to be in the place that to her was the warmest and homiest place she could think of: Kara Danvers’ apartment. Which made her…a very foolish woman.

Her last day in that medical room made her realize how reckless she had been behaving. While Agent Danvers sat next to her, working with her to craft a fabricated story to feed to Kara to give to CatCo (she did feel bad about that. She knew how much being a legitimate reporter meant to Kara), some sudden clarity came to her despite her still scrambled brain. Growing up, Lex helped her hide who she was so she would be spared the backlash that would come from her adopted family if they knew. He wanted to protect her. Now, she had to protect herself from him, for the same reason. And not just her, but anyone he might even suspect that she loved. She couldn’t be naïve enough to think his outbursts would stop once he thought she and Supergirl were nothing to each other. He would find a reason to hate anyone she might ever want to be with. He was…possessive like that.

And even if Lena was in some alternate universe in which Lex was totally unable to hurt her or anyone else anymore, it didn’t change anything. Lena was a Luthor. Damaged, dangerous, and hanging on to a mountain of emotional baggage.

Long story short, there was no situation in which she was worthy of anyone’s love. She couldn’t imagine that loving someone meant exposing them to all the pain that would come with it. That didn’t seem like love. That seemed like something someone like Lex would call love. And she was not Lex.

So, she had to stop letting herself get wrapped up in Kara. And Supergirl, for that matter. She wasn’t good enough for them. She wasn’t good enough for anyone. And that was that.

And yet, after that long, brooding speech she gave herself, her heart fluttered when the car came to a stop outside Kara Danver’s apartment building. It didn’t help that Kara was standing at the entry of her apartment building, waving excitedly. She was wearing plaid pajama pants and a t-shirt snug enough on her that a small section of her abdomen was visible as she waved. Not that Lena was surprised, but Kara’s stomach was incredibly toned. Lena suddenly felt incredibly overdressed in the button up shirt and A-line skirt Jess had given to Agent Danvers for her to wear out of the DEO. It was a new outfit, ill fitted because Jess had to throw together an entirely new wardrobe for her, with no time to get them all custom fitted with her measurements. She was already mourning some of her favorite dresses. And jewelry. And shoes…

Kara opened the door for Lena. Because it was Kara, so of course she did.

“Hi Lena! I know you know how to get to my apartment already…but…I don’t know, I was too excited to wait upstairs.”

Why was she so adorable?

For a moment Lena wanted to be caught up in the moment. She wanted to let herself be totally in love with Kara Danvers. And then she remembered that somehow Lex had seen her with Supergirl the other night, and if he could see that, he might be able to see her now. She stiffened when Kara touched her arm as she offered to help her out of the car. Kara recoiled quickly, allowing Lena her space.

“So, um,” Kara said as they headed into the elevator, “Jess had some of your things sent over earlier. You know, clothes and what not.”

“Thank you, Kara,” Lena replied as the doors closed. “I really do appreciate this. I don’t plan to inconvenience you for long, I’m already having Jess look into finding me a new apartment.”

“You aren’t going to wait for them to rebuild your old one?”

“No. I have no idea how long it’s going to take. Besides, I don’t think I want to step foot in there ever again.”

Kara sighed.

“I can only imagine. Alex told me something about Lex putting the bomb in your phone?”

Lena winced, not ready to relive that night.

“Something like that,” she replied.

Kara fidgeted with her glasses, something that Lena noticed she did often. She leaned against the wall of the elevator

“I’m sorry, Lena. You probably don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“It’s alright. I’m just glad to be out of the DEO. Isolation leaves far too much time to your thoughts.”

The elevator doors reopened, and Lena followed Kara into her apartment. Alex Danvers was standing inside, scrolling through something on her tablet.

“We meet again, Agent Danvers,” Lena said, attempting her usual business like charm. It was exhausting. Her head was already beginning to throb.

“Just wanted to drop by to make sure everything was safe, Ms. Luthor.”

“And is it? I wouldn’t have agreed to any of this if it meant putting Kara at risk.”

“Trust me,” Alex said with a knowing smirk, “I’m pretty sure there is nowhere safer in National City than Kara’s apartment.”

Kara smiled, shaking her head at her sister. “Because of your agents, obviously. Lena, come and make yourself at home. Is there anything you need?”

Lena bit her lip, feeling like an inconvenience already.

“Actually, would it be too much to ask to use your shower? I didn’t feel comfortable using the locker room style accommodations at the DEO.”

“Of course it’s not too much to ask, Lena. Don’t be silly, here, I’ll show you where the bathroom is.”

“Just a second, Kara, I’d like to speak to your sister alone.”

Kara gave her a confused look for a second, before shrugging and giving Alex and Lena some distance.  

“Oh my God, potstickers!” Kara exclaimed, noticing that Alex had evidently brought take out with her. She snatched three or four out of the box before disappearing into an unknown nook of the apartment.  

“What’s up?” Alex asked, placing her hands on her hips.

Lena fought the urge to put her head in her hands as it throbbed painfully. She had insisted that she felt fine before leaving the DEO, and now that she was free to move around on her own, she realized how un-fine she was.

“Is it actually going to be safe for Kara to take me in like this? I realize this decision may have been made too hastily, and I’d hate to put her in danger.”

“I wasn’t kidding, Ms. Luthor. You’re both completely safe. We’ll keep an eye on things around here. Nothing gets past my team. And in no time, we’ll find whoever it is that Lex hired to plant the bomb in your apartment, and then you’ll have nothing to worry about.”

“For now, I suppose,” Lena replied. She was being short with Alex, she knew. The pain in her head just made her irritable. She took a breath, willing calm to overtake her. “And, one other thing. I appreciate your discretion about…well…the circumstances surrounding my situation.”

“Of course. But Lena…you don’t have to hide the fact that you’re…” her eyes glanced to the door of Kara’s apartment. “…you know. Trust me, it’s a lot better to just be honest with yourself about who you are.”

Lena painted on a familiar smile, the one she’d been hiding behind her whole life that attempted to conceal how she really felt.

“I know you want to help. But trust me, it’s better this way. I trust I can rely on you to keep Supergirl safe from any blowback due to my…behavior, and then let the whole thing go?”

Alex furrowed her brow. “Yeah. Of course. If that’s what you want.”

“It is. Thank you, Alex.”

Alex nodded, and called out a quick goodbye to Kara before exiting the apartment. Lena put on her smile again as Kara reemerged with a clean towel.

Lena let herself spend a longer-than-average time under the steaming water of Kara’s shower, letting several days of mayhem and pain wash off of her. She was too happy to finally be in a hot shower to be self-conscious about the fact that it was Kara’s shower, in Kara’s apartment, with Kara in the next room. Well, maybe she was a bit self-conscious. Eventually, she regretfully stepped back into the terrible outfit Jess had brought her, feeling like it just made her dirty again, dried her hair as well as she could with her towel, and stepped back out into Kara’s apartment.

 Kara was sitting at her kitchen table, cheeks stuffed with potstickers. A more selfish side of Lena let herself imagine what it would be like to be with Kara. To come home every day to the sight of Kara Danvers stuffing her face with some horribly unhealthy food and somehow miraculously never losing her figure. Not that it would even matter to Lena if she did, as long as she never lost her smile…

Lena shook it off. Honestly, why was it so hard for her to just _not_ be in love?

“Sorry,” Kara said between mouthfuls, “I started without you. I’m just really hungry.” She held out a set of chopsticks to Lena. “Potsticker?”

Lena laughed.

“Are you sure you have enough to spare?” she joked.

“Well, there’s pizza, too, so yes, I can make the sacrifice to offer you a potsticker. Only because I like you, though.”

_Oh my God, Lena_ , she thought. _Get it together. You know she didn’t mean it like that._

“Well how very chivalrous of you,” Lena replied. She could play along. She was fine with this.

They ate in silence for a little while. Kara, consuming an inhuman amount of food, and Lena more preoccupied with taking in the small details of her apartment from where she sat. The warm, inviting colors, the fresh flowers on the table, the photos of friends and family on practically every surface. It made her almost happy that the cold, bareness of her old apartment had burned up. Lena always saw an apartment as a place to sleep between working hours. Kara clearly saw her apartment as a home; somewhere to enjoy the company of her loved ones with and make memories in. Lena sighed, thinking of how empty her own life was. Fresh pain shot through her head, and she snapped her eyes shut until it subsided.

When she opened her eyes again, she realized Kara had been staring at her.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

“Yes, of course. Just a little uncomfortable in this outfit. I don’t know what material this is, but it feels cheap.”

Kara laughed.

“Well why don’t you change? I have all of your stuff set up in my room.”

Lena’s eyes widened. Kara seemed to pick up on what she was reacting to.

“Oh, I’m not staying in there with you.”

“Where will you sleep?” Lena asked.

“Oh, I have a futon in my office in case of emergency,” Kara replied, “And by emergency I mean Alex tends to talk Winn into drinking competitions until he falls asleep and his back hurts in the morning if he sleeps on my couch. It’s actually pretty comfy.”

“Kara, I’m not going to take your room. I’m already imposing on you enough.”

“Lena,” Kara said, circling around the kitchen table to stand closer to her. “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m happy you’re here before you believe me?”

Kara grasped on to Lena’s hands, reminding her of the other day, when Lena was amazed to see how unafraid Kara was to show affection to another women, even though it was clearly platonic. Obviously. It was something Lena supposed she would have to get used to I she was going to be spending a lot more time with Kara.

“You’ve been through a lot, Lena,” Kara continued, “I just want to take care of you.” It was now Kara whose eyes widened. “Because we’re friends,” she added.

Lena sucked in a breath, and pulled her hands away from Kara’s grip, trying not to let any emotion show.

“Thank you, Kara. I’m…incredibly appreciative of your friendship. Really.”

Did that sound aloof enough? Lena thought it sounded like a pretty platonic response. See? She could handle this. She could stay in Kara Danvers’ apartment and keep from becoming a hopeless mess.

Kara smiled at her. Lena didn’t actually know if she had ever seen Kara without a smile on her face.

“My room is down at the end of the hall. But before you go change, I have a serious question for you. How do you feel about Call the Midwife?”

“Never seen it.”

Kara gasped dramatically.

“What? Well. That settles it. You are here for a reason. Prepare to cry. A lot.”

Lena chuckled in response, and let herself into Kara’s bedroom.

Somehow, it was everything she expected Kara Danvers’ bedroom to be. Not that she had pictured it or anything…but if she had, it would be this. The walls were a pale pink, the bed set and furnishings complimenting it with blues, greens, and purples. On her nightstand was a picture of two preteen girls, one blonde and one brunette, standing together on the beach, smiling at the camera. She guessed that it was Kara and her sister Alex when they were young. On her walls she had pictures of different views on National City, reminding Lena, achingly, of the night she had sat with Supergirl on that hill.

She was determined to keep herself from thinking about Supergirl anymore. She had to. It was hard enough for her to keep from being in love with one girl, let alone two. She’d never had a crush on two girls at once before. Lena was typically a one track minded gal. But when she was with Kara, she was thinking about Supergirl, and when she was with Supergirl, she was thinking about Kara. And considering that she wasn’t supposed to be letting herself think about either of them, she was basically feeling guilty 24/7. And now here she was, in Kara Danvers’ bedroom, pushing away memories of Supergirl’s strong arms gripping her tightly as she whisked her around the city. Lena shook that thought off, and deflated onto Kara’s bed, letting herself get used to the feeling of being in Kara’s room.

When Lena was younger and she had been to sleepovers at the houses of the girls she went to school with, she had never felt comfortable in a girl’s bedroom. Something about it was inherently private, and somehow too personal for Lena to tolerate. Eventually she hated to be in girl’s bedrooms because she felt like some kind of predator around her female peers. She felt like she shouldn’t be privy to the most intimate place in their lives because if they knew what she might be capable of feeling for them, that her secret would be revealed in the ugliest way possible.

But Kara’s bedroom was somehow different, like the rest of the apartment, Lena supposed. She couldn’t explain it. But she just…felt at home here.

Lena saw a clothing rack filled with hung outfits that looked far too outside Kara’s sense of style to be hers. Lena grimaced, telling herself that she would never trust Jess to shop for her again. On the floor next to the rack were two boxes, one filled with more comfortable sleeping attire and one with her…unmentionables. Good God. Jess had assumed far too much of Lena. She’d never seen so much lace and so many thongs in her life. Her face reddened, realizing that there was a good chance that Kara had seen the atrocious display of racy lingerie.

Well, there was nothing she could do about it tonight, so she just had to work with what she had. The pajama sets Jess had picked out for her weren’t terrible. They looked like they came from a department store, they were all too annoyingly well matched, and Lena couldn’t help but think that Kara’s clothes were probably much more comfortable. But, again, there was nothing she could do about that for now. She changed into a set of black silk pajamas, and tried to convince herself that she didn’t look ridiculous. The funny thing was, if she was in her own apartment, these would have suited her just fine. But in Kara’s apartment, it felt entirely out of place. And she didn’t like feeling out of place here.

By the time she was fully changed, she was exhausted. She didn’t understand why her body and mind were so uncooperative lately. She’d only survived a small bomb blast. Really, this was over the top. She wanted to feel normal again. Instead, she all but collapsed on the bed, wanting nothing more than to turn the light off so it could be blissfully dark in the room, but too drained to get up and turn it off herself. She could just lay here…for a moment…

A knock on the door jolted Lena awake.

“Lena?” Kara called from outside the door. “Are you okay? You’ve been in there awhile.”

How long was she asleep?

“Um…yeah, I’m fine, Kara.”

Kara paused.

“I realized you might be more comfortable just hanging out in here. Is it okay if I come in?”

It was ridiculous to Lena that Kara was asking for permission to enter her own bedroom.

“Of course,” she said, sitting back up, hoping it wasn’t obvious that she had fallen asleep. Kara poked her head in the door for a second before fully entering, her laptop tucked under her right arm.  

“Well those are cute!” Kara exclaimed. “New jammies?”

“Everything is new,” Lena sighed, “All of my clothes got burned up.”

Kara’s face fell.

“I’m sorry…I forgot…that was insensitive of me.”

“Don’t be sorry. They’re just clothes. I can always buy more. Though I personally wouldn’t have bought any of the outfits Jess picked out. Hopefully she kept the receipts.”

Kara gasped excitedly, sitting next to Lena on the bed.

“We can have a shopping day! Doesn’t that sound like fun? We can make our own cliché montage of you trying on outfits and me reacting to them.”

Lena shook her head, smiling.

“You’re having far too much fun already, Miss Danvers.”

“Oh, trust me, I am …the most fun. Just you wait. We are gonna have so much fun hanging out together that…you’re not even gonna want to leave.”

She wanted to smile, but a new headache was appearing with a vengeance. She didn’t want to let on that she was in pain, but she winced involuntarily. Lena raised a hand, slowly, to Lena’s face. Lena’s instinct was to flinch away from her, but she fought against it. She knew what she was looking at: the large bruise that was still healing on the side of her head from when she was thrown across her apartment the night of the explosion. Kara looked at it, and at Lena, with the kindest eyes Lena had ever seen, and tucked a strand of Lena’s hair behind her ear. She let her fingers trace down the length of Lena’s neck before pulling away, suddenly, like it only just occurred to Kara that they were touching. Lena forced herself to breathe.

“Somehow,” Lena said, “I don’t doubt that you’re right about that.”

Kara smiled back, and, reverting back to her peppy self, she opened her laptop and queued up her show, squealing with delight, because Lena was just going to “love the crap out of it”, apparently.

_Don’t fall in love, huh?_ Lena thought to herself. _Yeah, you’re screwed._

 

*

 

They got through about one and a half episodes before Lena fell asleep, curled towards Kara under a quilted blanket Alex and Eliza had made for Kara out of her old grade school shirts when she started college. Kara was still getting used to the fact that she would be seeing a lot of Lena out of “L Corp” mode; that is, looking human. She was always so composed: nails manicured, never a strand of hair out of place, outfits perfectly arranged by world renowned designers, lips blood red and oddly easy to fixate on.

And now, she was sleeping on Kara’s bed, no makeup on, the bruise on her head more shocking to look at than before in the blue light of the laptop, hair still slightly damp. The Lena that Kara was used to was so intimidatingly beautiful, like something out of a museum you were not allowed to touch, but that you desperately wanted to just to know what art felt like (or just because you weren’t supposed to). This Lena, the one she had seen in her most fragile moments, was something so beautiful in such a tragically different way that Kara had to literally restrain herself from reaching out to her on several occasions already because she just…God, she just wanted hold her. She had never felt so strongly driven to show affection to someone as she was to this version of Lena, and it left Kara feeling incredibly confused.

Which was weird to her, because she had always been an affectionate person, but she had never before felt like if she reached out to someone that she wouldn’t be able to stop. There was this intense yearning she felt towards Lena, this pull in her gut that she was honestly afraid of. Especially considering that once or twice when she had wished to reach out to Lena, Lena had flinched or pulled away. She noticed it more strongly as Supergirl.

She thought back on the article she wrote for Lena, and what Lena had said about her relationship with Supergirl. She frowned. Maybe Lena really did hold onto hostility against Supergirl because of everything that had happened, and maybe it just crossed over to her interactions with Kara because she sensed a similarity or connection between the two…

Kara sighed. She suddenly felt like an intruder in her own bedroom. She should let Lena sleep.

Gingerly, closed her laptop, got off of the bed, and snuck out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her. She felt uneasy as she settled into her futon for the night, wondering if Lena would ever be able to forgive Supergirl, and if she didn’t, she wondered if she could be friends with Lena as Kara if she couldn’t be friends with Lena as Supergirl…

Maybe she should have thought about all of this before she asked Lena to be her temporary roommate…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION. Seriously, these two are DESTROYING MY LIFE and I have no control over them at this point. They won't listen to me. They just keep being TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS. 
> 
> It's amazing how much more I can tolerate my own writing when I actually edit. I don't just lament over already posted stuff like "this would be so much better if I could go back and change that thing." so with that in mind, I think I'm gonna start cutting back to posting new chapters once a week. What's today, Thursday? Let's say Thursdays for now. 
> 
> Again, you guys' feedback has been great, so THANK YOU!! Like I've been saying, the plot is getting created as I go, so most of the time, if you guys throw out ideas at me, I'll probably use them. It's like one of those "choose your destiny" books, except you can't cheat and bookmark fifteen different places in case you screw up 
> 
> So yeah, come chat with me about how HOPELESS these two are either on here, or you can come bother me on tumblr (url: schatzietess) See you soon ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lena makes herself comfortable in Kara's apartment, and Kara just needs everyone to leave her alone for five minutes...

The next morning was a Saturday. Meaning that Snapper would be a little less on her case than normal for the next two days, but that her night job would probably be picking up with activity. That is, if the Guardian would stop stealing her gigs. It was irritating being upstaged by some mystery man in a metal suit, who didn’t even have any superpowers, thank you very much. The only silver lining to his attempts to be the new hero of National City was that it took some of the edge off Kara as far as hiding her identity from her new roommate...

Her phone made a pinging sound, indicating she had a new text.

TEXT FROM: ALEX: _Earpiece._

Kara groaned, popping her comm into her ear. The day was going to start early, apparently. Before she opened a line of communication, she listened in to her bedroom from her makeshift bed in the living room to see if Lena was awake. Lena’s heartbeat was as slow as it had been throughout the night, so she must have still been asleep. Not that Kara had been listening in during the night to make sure she was okay or anything…

“What’s up?” she asked Alex through her earpiece.

_“A couple of early bird criminals are attempting a jewlery store heist on 2 nd Avenue,” _she said casually, behind a yawn. _“Someone should tell them that crime fighting should not start until after 10 am on the weekends.”_

It was weird what they had become desensitized to in their line of work.

“Ugh, snore,” Kara replied, but was already in her suit and zipping out her window towards 2nd.

_“I’m sorry there’s not enough peril in the city for your taste, Supergirl,”_ Alex retorted, _“I’m sure it will pick back up once Lex makes his next move.”_

Kara’s flight path faltered for a second, her breath caught in her throat as she remembered the sight of Lena unconscious in her apartment.

“That’s not funny, Alex,” she said, forcing herself to breathe normally.

_“Sorry,”_ Alex replied.

Kara was *this* close to making a trip to Metropolis and taking care of  the Lex Luthor problem herself…

Two jewel thieves thrown into the back of a cop car later, Kara was already bored with her day. There had to be more important things to tackle instead of dumb jewel thieves. Not quite ready to be back in her apartment, playing the role of oblivious reporter Kara Danvers, she touched down on the roof of her apartment building to make a quick call.

_“What’s up, big cousin? Saw you got Lillian Luthor put away. Nice work,”_ Clark answered.

“Hi, um, do you have a second to talk about something…work related?” she asked.

_“Hero related work? Yeah, I’m alone. Go ahead.”_

When Clark had visited, Winn had made some security adjustments to both his and Kara’s phones so they could talk about their work without being listened in on. He had also made sure to add his number into Clarke’s phone. You know, in case he ever wanted to “hang”.

“It’s about Lex,” Kara said, spitting his name out like a curse word.

_“Oh,”_ Clarke sighed, _“yeah. I heard he wasn’t quite done messing with his little sister.”_

“Messing with her? He bombed her apartment. She almost died.”

_“Yeah. That sounds like Lex.”_

“This is…stupid!” she yelled, exasperated. “He’s in jail! He shouldn’t be able to still keep up with his do-no-good ways as if he was just on some vacation! Lena is hiding out, afraid to even go back to work yet just because her brother is a big…dumb…bad guy!”

_“I know, Kara, but I don’t know what more to do. There’s no way of telling who could be doing him favors in the prison he’s being kept in, and if we tried to move him to a more secure facility, we risk him somehow escaping during transport. For all we know, he’s doing this just to aggravate the both of us so that we make a move on him and give him a window of opportunity to free himself.”_

Kara groaned loudly, like a small child not able to tolerate being told “no”.

_“Look,”_ Clarke said, his tone softer than before, _“Just…keep Lena as safe as you can for now, and I’ll see what I can do. Okay?”_

Kara threw her head back, sighing.

“Yeah. Alright. Thanks, Clark.”

She hung up, still a little frustrated. She knew that he couldn’t help what was happening to Lena, and that he was trying to help, but only as much as he needed to. He still likely despised the name attached to Lena too much to be as concerned with her safety as Kara was. She wanted Lena to be able to have just one day when she could live her own life and not worry about her psychopathic family.

Peering down to her apartment with her X-ray vision, she saw that Lena was awake and wandering around the apartment.

_Better get back before she gets curious_ , Kara thought. _Oh yeah, the suit._

She flew up to her apartment, nabbed the jeans and flannel shirt she had left herself by her window, and raced down to the coffee shop a couple blocks down from her building. About fifteen minutes later, she was back at the door of her own apartment.

Lena nearly jumped out of her own skin when Kara opened the door.

“Kara,” she breathed, placing a hand on her chest. “You scared me.”

Kara realized it probably wasn’t best to come and go unannounced when Lena had plenty of reason to be wary of her surroundings.

“I’m sorry! I thought you were still sleeping,” she said, noticing that Lena was still in her silk pj’s, standing in Kara’s kitchen. Something about the visual made Kara incredibly giddy. She tried not to let it show.

“Well, sleeping in any time past eight makes me feel unbearably lazy. I was about to make a pot of coffee…but…I see you’ve beaten me to the punch.”

Kara was holding three boxes of donuts and two lattes in her arms.

“Oh! Yeah. Um, I didn’t know what kind of donuts you liked, so I just got two of everything.”

Lena laughed.

“Have you ever heard the phrase ‘everything in moderation’?”

Kara put her bounty down on the kitchen table, instantly reaching for a French cruller.

“I have, and I disagree with it,” she said, shoving almost the whole donut in her mouth at once.

Something felt amazingly easy about this moment. Lena in Kara’s kitchen in the morning, drinking coffee in her pajamas, poking fun at Kara, the two of them laughing together. She thought to compare it to how she felt when she would hang out with Alex on their time off…but that wasn’t right. This was very…very different.

It suddenly felt suffocating in her apartment.

“So,” Kara said, clearing her throat and grabbing a second donut, “how are you feeling?”

“Better,” Lena said. “You know, I haven’t had a good cup of coffee in days. Maybe those headaches I’m getting are just from caffeine withdrawal.”

Kara frowned at Lena, whose receding bruise was still visible at the edge of her hairline.

“Alright,” Lena conceded, “there’s a slight chance they’re from the concussion.”

“Just a small one,” Kara replied playfully.

Lena took a moment to look over her options of donuts as she sat at the kitchen table. Kara made a mental note that she liked the cream filled ones.

“Anyhow,” Kara continued, “it is a Saturday. Which means that I might have to pop out of the apartment from time to time to handle…reporter related stuff, but other than that, I am all yours.”

“I like the sound of that,” Lena said, leaning in to the kitchen table. A second later, she snapped back to sitting upright again, eyes wide. “I mean…I just would get bored by myself. I’m not used to being anything but busy 24/7. Honestly, I’m just hoping that L Corp hasn’t gone to ruin in my absence.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t. And you’ll be back to work soon, I’m sure.”

A natural silence fell between the two. Kara bit the inside of her cheek.

“So, what should we do today?” she asked.

Lena pursed her lips.

“I have no idea.”

“Come, on, Lena,” Kara said, moving to stand closer to her, “But there has to be _something_ you want to do. I am up for _anything_.”

Kara placed an elbow on the kitchen table, resting her head against her fist, smiling at Lena.

Lena raised her eyebrows at Kara, a slight blush forming on her cheeks.

“I mean,” Lena replied, looking down, “I’m pretty much not allowed to leave your apartment for awhile, right? Doesn’t leave us with many options.”

Kara sighed.

“It sucks, and I’m sorry. But it’s only temporary. Supergirl…” Lena stiffened the second Kara said the name, “Well, no, I forgot you’re um…keeping your distance from Supergirl.”

Lena paused.

“It’s for the best, Kara.”

Kara stood up straight again, throwing her hands in the air.

“What do you mean by that?” Kara burst out, realizing a second too late that she sounded a little too upset.

Lena looked at her a moment, unable to hide the pain in her eyes.

“I know that you’re friends with Supergirl. And I’m sure she isn’t happy with me right now. But I’m doing this _for_ her, Kara. There’s just…no scenario in which she’s better off with me around her.”

Kara’s earpiece crackled suddenly, interrupting Kara as she stared at Lena, willing her silently to give her more than that.

_“Uh, Supergirl?”_ Winn said into her ear.

Kara groaned, but she remembered that she couldn’t let Lena see her react to her ear piece, or it might give her away.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…I have to make a phone call. I’ll be right back.”

She rushed out of the apartment and into her bedroom. She paused a moment, realizing it felt somehow different now that Lena had spent the night there. It felt warmer, and Lena’s scent lingered all over it. Kara didn’t realize that she recognized what Lena smelled like until she was in her room, and she felt like she was surrounded by it.

“What’s up?” she asked.

_“Oh, cool! You answered! This is like Call of Duty!”_ Winn said, _“Except, you’re real. And there’s a real life carjacking happening on north shore.”_

Kara sighed.

“Where’s Alex? I just talked to her a little bit ago.”

_“Oh…well, you know, I told her to take the morning off. I wanted to do some of the crime seeking. For…no specific reason at all.”_

Kara walked quickly out of her room.

“Umm, I have to go. There’s a…thing I need to go…report on. So…I’ll be back in a little bit, okay?”

Lena tilted her head, considering Kara. Kara rushed out of the apartment before Lena could question her, shedding her civilian clothing on the roof of her building so she could pick it up again when she got back.

Kara flew towards the stolen car, a mid 90’s green mustang racing across the bay bridge, darting back and forth between the lanes of traffic as six cop cars were hot on its tail. The mustang was fish tailing, unable to handle how fast its stealer was trying to push it as it jerked from lane to lane.

_“Suspect is suspected to be fleeing the scene of a bank robbery.”_ Winn chuckled to himself over the comm. _“Hah. I never realized until now. You know…they’re called ‘suspects’ because they’re ‘suspected’ of a crime.”_

“Winn,” Kara warned.

_“Right, sorry.”_

Kara flew in front of the car, placing her hand on the windshield too keep speed with the car. She looked down at the driver, a frantic looking sandy brown haired man with green eyes. He looked up at her, eyes wild.

“You might want to slow down before you hurt someone,” she said to him through the windshield.

“Fuck you, Supergirl!” the man screamed, swerving into the next lane of traffic, throwing her off course. The car he almost hit into in the other lane swerved instinctually away from the danger, and by doing so, cracked into a car in the opposing lane and began to spin uncontrollably. Kara groaned, glaring at the criminal for not only putting innocent people in peril, but for having a potty mouth.

She raced over to the spinning car, stopping it in its tracks. For a split second, she forgot that there was still rapidly moving traffic behind her, and was slammed into by a station wagon. She screamed out, letting her body go limp so the momentum of the car sent her shooting ahead by about thirty feet. It was better that she be hurt than the civilians on the bridge. She stayed on the ground, face down, breathing heavily into the concrete, hearing the sound of police sirens screaming as they sped past, as if they were scolding her. “Get up! GET UP!” they called.

Kara stayed on the ground. She couldn’t move. Every hit she had ever felt from every opponent came pummeling down on her at once; every memory drowning her. She squirmed under the weight of it, willing herself to keep fighting. This wasn’t some impossible fight. This was a simple carjacking. What was wrong with her?

She screamed as loud as she could, not caring who heard, slamming her palms against the concrete, trying to jolt herself into action. She sat up, struggling to find her breath. As tears streamed down her face and stung her eyes, she took off, even though she was blinded by them. As she struggled to re-find the green mustang, Winn called to her through the ear piece.

_“Uh…Kara? We’ve got a bogie incoming. Some kind of missile? It…uh…seems to be locked onto your heat signature.”_

Winn’s voice seemed to pull her back to reality. Kara shook her head, forcing herself to come back to the moment so she could do her job before innocent people got killed. 

 A familiar black motorbike came speeding up to her. When it stopped, she realized that not only was the Guardian on it, but Mon El was tagging along with him.

“We got the car, you get the missile,” the Guardian said in his clearly dramatized voice.

“What are you doing?” she demanded of Mon El.

“What?” he asked, feigning innocence, “I can’t fly, and he offered me a ride. I’m trying to help.”

“You don’t even know who he is!” she said.

“What do you mean? It’s just James.”

Kara put her hands on her hips emphatically. “What?” she demanded.

Mon El’s eyes widened, realizing that he messed up.

_“Kara,”_ Winn pleaded through the earpiece, _“we don’t really have time to argue, the missile is about to crash into the bridge.”_

Kara groaned, frustrated at all three of them, and took off towards the missile barreling towards the bridge.

“Did you know about this?” she demanded to the voice in her ear.

_“Um…well…yeah…I’ve kind of been helping him.”_

She was flying straight towards the missile, planning on knocking it off course. But the closer she got to it, the more a familiar weak, nauseous feeling creeped into her.

“I’ll yell at you later, Winn. I think this thing is loaded with kryptonite. What do I do?”

_“Oh, God. Um. Don’t touch it. It’s locked on you, I don’t know if you can shake it. Best bet to limit kryptonite poisoning…ah…drown it before it explodes.”_

_“Kara,”_ J’onn cut Winn off, _“try to keep it live as long as you can, we’re tracking the location of whoever launched this missile now but once that thing blows we lose the trace.”_

“I think if our positions were reversed right now, J’onn, you would realize how not fun that plan sounds.”

_Alright,_ Kara thought, trying to hype herself up for the task ahead. _Just play chicken with a flying kryptonite bomb. Easy._

She flew towards it, closer and closer, feeling her ability to hold herself afloat getting weaker and weaker. She pushed closer and closer to the missile, counting down the seconds, breathing heavily, feeling her power being drained by the second.

_Five, four, three, two…_

Kara screamed out, and finally veered to the left, slipping past the missile just before it clipped her and struggled to fly out towards more open water. The missile changed direction and chased after her. She flew as hard and as long as she could, feeling it creeping up behind her, closing in. She felt herself slowing down, dropping rapidly, unable to keep flying like normal with the drain on her powers. Unable to hold off any longer, she dropped into the water, and the missile followed her, sending a shockwave through the water as it exploded, the force of it pummeling Kara further and further down into the waters depths. Her symptoms were suddenly tenfold, her powers practically nonexistent, and a familiar blinding pain shot through her body. As her brain fought to remember its survival instincts through the fog of poison, the one clear thought she had in her mind was _“screw you, Lex Luthor”_. As she was helplessly pushed further and further down, the familiar feeling of panic started to set it, telling her there was no way she would make it out alive.

_No,_ she thought. _Save yourself now, freak out later. You’re better than this._

She pushed against the crushing weight of the poisoned water, kicking her legs as hard as she could, racing to where she saw light shining into the water’s murky surface that seemed so impossibly far away. She kept kicking, her lungs screaming in pain, making her see spots. As her vision threatened to go completely dark, she made one final push, and emerged from the water with a ‘pop’, coughing.

_“Supergirl?”_ J’onn’s voice called in her head, worried.

“K-kryptonite,” she coughed, what little energy she had left barely keeping her afloat.

_“Are you okay?”_

“I’m fine,” she struggled to say, “Did you get him?”

_“Got him. Just stay afloat for a minute, Mon El is on his way to extract you now.”_

“Cool,” she said, doing whatever she could to keep her head above water. Mon El used his strength to make a long leap down from the harbor and into the water. She grabbed on to him, wishing that anyone else had come to her aid instead.

“Hey look,” he said, rapidly swimming to shore. “I get to save you for once.”

“Not now,” she spat, catching her breath. “Just…get me to shore.”

He silently brought her to dry land, clearly upset that she wasn’t more thankful for his help. He sat on the sand for a while, refusing to make eye contact, clearly brooding. Kara groaned. It’s not like she just almost died or anything.

“What’s wrong, Mon El?” she asked, not trying to hide her sarcastic tone as she continued to lay in the sand, letting the bright sun heal her.

“Why is it so hard for you to accept my help?”

“Because I don’t need it.”

“Yeah,” he scoffed, “clearly.” He turned to look at her. “You know that I have feelings for you, right?”

Kara fought not to roll her eyes. “Well, now I do.”

“You know, that’s not a very polite way to react when someone tells you they have feelings for you.”

Kara rubbed her eyes, frustrated, and trying not to yell.

“I almost just died from being chased by a kryptonite bomb, Mon El.”

He sighed.

“Well. I care about you. A lot. It’s okay if you don’t reciprocate. I just wanted to be honest about this with you. It will hurt a lot to be around you and work with you knowing you don’t feel the same way. But I’ll just have to deal with it, if you aren’t going to return my affection. I just wanted you to know that.”

He walked away, leaving her alone. Kara flopped over to put her face in the wet sand so she could let out a muffled yell of pure frustration.

She let herself gather some more strength from the sun’s glow before flying herself home, pulling her earpiece out and not bothering to check in with anyone from the DEO. She didn’t throw the earpiece away this time, though. She didn’t want a lecture from Alex again. After changing back into civilian clothes, not liking how they stuck to her still wet skin, she took a moment to stand outside her apartment door, breathing, gathering her composure, and finally she knocked on her apartment door before entering.

“Just me, Lena,” she said as she walked in.

“In here,” Lena called from the bedroom. Kara paused for a moment, wondering why that statement made her heart race for a brief moment.

Lena was on Kara’s bed, reading Kara’s copy of Love Medicine, face thoughtful and serene, not looking up at Kara though she knew she was now standing in front of her. Kara leaned against her doorway, watching her, a smile creeping onto both the women’s faces simultaneously.

“Is it okay that I’m hanging out in your room?” Lena asked shyly, still looking up from the book, that devilish smirk still on her face.

“Of course,” Kara said, accidentally letting her voice reveal how exhausted she was. She didn’t want to pretend she was fine around Lena.

Lena looked up from the book, eyes concerned.

“Are you okay? Why do I smell salt water?” she asked, moving to sit to the edge of the bed so she was closer to Kara. Kara flopped down on the bed next to her, looking up at the ceiling, legs dangling off the end, letting out a long breath and closing her eyes for a second.

She had to decide in that moment what she was going to tell Lena. She had to decide what was best for her to know. Kara swallowed.

“I’m fine. Went to report on a car chase over the bridge, got a bonus show of Supergirl diverting a missile into the bay.”

“What was the missile from?” Lena asked, leaning over Kara slightly so that Kara saw her instead of the ceiling when she opened her eyes. She was jolted by a second, always caught off guard by how beautiful Lena was. She frowned at Lena, not wanting to say the cause of the missile out loud.

Lena read Kara’s face accurately. “Oh. I see,” she breathed.  

“I’m pretty sure they caught the guy that was behind both attacks, if that helps.”

Lena pursed her lips.

“I suppose it should. But that doesn’t make me feel any better about the fact that I was right.”

Lena took a lock of Kara’s hair in her hand. Kara’s eyes widened, realizing that she hadn’t remembered to fix it into something less Supergirl looking. “Your hair is wet,” Lena pointed out.

Kara cleared her throat.

“Yeah,” Kara laughed her off, attempting her best nonchalant tone, “I sort of had the ‘splash zone’ seats to the missile explosion. Now, what were you right about?”

“That Supergirl is better off without me around.”

Kara sat up, facing Lena.

“That’s ridiculous,” she said bluntly.

“That missile was sent her way today just because I…” she stopped herself from saying whatever was on the tip of her tongue. “Because she helped me. Lex is vindictive and petty. And no one who associates with me is safe from his games. Not Supergirl. Not you.” She scoffed at herself. “And here I am making myself at home here with you…putting you at risk.”

She grabbed Lena’s hands and held them in her own, reminding her of their meeting at the DEO.

“Have you ever considered that maybe you’re worth the risk?” she asked Lena, realizing that she had started to trace small circles on Lena’s hands with her thumbs. Lena looked up at Kara for a very long moment, big blue eyes starting to well with tears. Looking at her, Kara was suddenly overwhelmed with that yearning she kept feeling when she got this close to Lena. Before she knew what she was doing, she felt herself reaching out, cupping Lena’s face in her hand, and…

Kara heard a knock at her door, startling her, making her jolt backwards, head fuzzy.

“I have to um, yeah…” Kara said, getting up from the bed to answer the door.

She felt…weird.

She looked through the door to see that Alex was on the other side, looking upset. Kara threw the door open, concerned for her sister. Alex instantly dragged Kar into a hug.

“Hey!” Kara exclaimed. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I’m so sorry,” Alex said into her shoulder. “I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“Alex, hey. It’s okay! I’m fine. Look,” she said pulling out of Alex’s hug, “All my parts are intact. Just a little bit of K-poisoning. I’m already feeling better. It’s alright.”

“I should have been there. And I wasn’t. I let Winn take over my post for me because I wanted to get breakfast with Maggie. And that was selfish, and stupid, and I won’t ever let it happen again.”

“Whoa, whoa. Calm down Alex. You can’t be there for me 24/7. Especially now that you have a girlfriend. And that’s okay.”

Alex shook her head, walking into the apartment. Kara closed the door after her.

“I, um…” Alex started, her breath shaky. “I kind of…broke up with Maggie.”

Kara’s eyes bulged, totally judging Alex.

“Um. Why the heck did you do that?”

“Because I can’t afford to have a relationship! Something bad will happen if I can’t be around all the time to protect you.”

“Uh uh. No. I will not accept that as an answer. I will not have anyone else blaming me for their emotions that I have no control over. No offense, Alex, I love you, but that’s not fair to me. Or Maggie! Good lord! I can’t believe you did that! You two are great together! And I can handle myself!”

Alex sat at Kara’s kitchen table, practically hyperventilating.

“You are going to call Maggie right now and apologize,” Kara pressed.

Alex sighed, calming herself.

“You’re right. You’re right. Oh my god, what did I do? What if she doesn’t take me back?”

Kara wrapped an arm around Alex, resting her chin on the top of Alex’s head.

“You have to try,” she said.

Alex took another steadying breath, and pulled away from Kara, looking around the apartment.

“Where’s Lena?” she whispered.

“She’s in my bedroom.”

Alex’s eyes widened, like Kara had said something terribly scandalous.

“Why is she in there?”

“Because I have a really comfy bed? I don’t know. What’s wrong with her being in there?”

Alex gave her that look like Kara was being oblivious to something again. She shook her head.

“No reason.” She sighed again. “I need to go talk to Maggie.”

“Yes you do.”

There was a knock at the door. Kara looked through it again, and laughed out loud.

“What?” Alex asked.

“You two are perfect for each other,” Kara said, letting a peeved looking Maggie into her apartment. “Hi, Maggie.”

Alex shrunk into her chair like she was a school kid about to go to the principal’s office.

“Did your sister tell you she tried to bolt because she took five minutes off of Supergirl duty?” Maggie asked Kara, even though her eyes were locked on Alex.

“Uh…” Kara said, not wanting to be this involved in her sister’s relationship drama.

“I mean, she’s clearly fine,” Maggie said to Alex now, gesturing to Kara.

Both Alex and Kara’s eyes widened, looking at each other, then back to Maggie.

“Oh, come on, you two, I’m not stupid. I know you’re actually…” Alex rushed to put her hand over Maggie’s mouth before she referred to Kara as Supergirl, eyes gesturing to Kara’s bedroom.

“What? Who’s in there?” Maggie asked.

“Lena Luthor,” Alex replied.

Maggie’s eyes widened in the same way Alex’s had when Kara said the same thing. Why was it so weird to everyone that Lena was hanging out in Kara’a bedroom?

“But…how do you know?” Alex continued, taking her hand away from Maggie’s mouth.

Maggie pursed her lips, tilting her head, looking at Alex like she couldn’t believe she had undestimated her.

“Alex. Come on. All she does is pin her hair back and throw on a pair of fake glasses. No offense, Kara.”

Alex looked to Kara for help. Kara wanted to point out that her disguise was perfectly functional, thank you, Maggie, but shrugged her shoulders, feeling too tired and cranky to even care.

“She was gonna find out at some point. Now, if that’s all cleared up, can you guys go kiss and make up somewhere else? I’m pretty wiped right now.”

The pair of women filed out of her apartment, Maggie’s body language indicating that she was probably going to forgive Alex. Alex gave Kara another quizzical look before exiting her apartment.

“Have, uh, fun with Lena,” she said.

Hopefully Alex would calm down now that Maggie new about Kara. She really didn’t want to play mediator to her sister and her girlfriend every time there was some disaster in National City. There was always going to be a disaster. Slumping her shoulder tiredly, she walked back into her bedroom, flopping back down onto the bed like she had before. She was really tired. Considering it was barely after noon, she didn’t know how she was going to get through the rest of the day.

“What was that about?” Lena asked.

Kara grunted into the comforter, wondering for a second as Lena watched her if her disguise was that obvious.

Nah, she was fine.

“My sister has a new girlfriend and is actually happy for once in her life. So of course she doesn’t know how to handle it and keeps trying to sabotage her relationship by making silly excuses and generally being very dramatic. I had to talk her down. It should be fine. Maggie seems pretty equipped to handle her.”

Kara was surprised that Lena seemed to hear and comprehend what she had said, since she mumbled it all into her bed.

“So your sister is…well…”

“Gay?” Kara responded. “Yes. It’s a very recent development.”

She picked up on the hesitation in Lena’s voice a second too late.

“Why, does that bother you?” Kara asked her.

“N-no. Not at all. Quite the opposite actually. It’s good that she is able to be honest with herself about it. It must be…freeing for her to be herself…in that way.”

Kara shrugged, rolling over on the bed so she was looking up at Lena. She was suddenly reminded of the yearning feeling that had washed over her before Alex came to her door. She thought that she should try to figure out what would have happened next if they hadn’t been interrupted. But honestly, Kara was too tired to think too much on it at that second. She just liked being able to enjoy the coziness of Lena’s company.

“Yeah. Hopefully she can be just as honest with herself about her jitters surrounding the whole new relationship thing.” Kara closed her eyes. “I dunno,” she said, yawning.

“You seem exhausted,” Lena said, considering her. “You should take a nap or something.”

“No,” Kara whined, rolling towards Lena in a very childlike manner. “I need to take a shower. I’m all…ocean watery…” Kara was already scooting up towards the head of the bed to rest her head on a pillow.

Lena couldn’t help but laugh at Kara.

“You can take a shower when you wake up. It’s just salt water.”

Lena moved to get off of the bed. Kara grabbed onto her arm.

“Where are you going?” she asked sleepily, eyes still closed.

“I was going to go to the living room to continue reading. I honestly can’t remember the last time I actually just set aside time to read a book.”

“Stay here,” Kara implored, half asleep already. “Please? I like it when you’re here. Just…stay.”

Lena arched her eyebrows, considering Kara as she drifted off to sleep. She settled next to Kara on the bed, sitting up against the headboard of the bed, opening the book to where she had left off. Kara turned in to her, resting her head against Lena’s side, falling asleep almost instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like sleepy Kara is pretty believable because I wrote this scene half passed out after kicking my own ass at the gym for two days in a row. A girl's gotta do what she can to meet those Melissa Benoist abs goal amirite?? 
> 
> Ps, can you tell what parts of the last ep I was annoyed with? How'm I doing with the whole "subtly bashes NOTP" thing? :))
> 
> Next chap coming at you in five...four...three...two...


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which these two crazy kids just can't get their shit together and COMMUNICATE IN A HEALTHY MANNER.

When Kara woke up, she was disoriented. For a moment she forgot that she had fallen asleep next to Lena, and she told herself it was silly of her to be a little upset when she realized that Lena wasn’t next to her now. She checked her phone and saw that it was a little after 4. Wow. She really _was_ tired.

She had two missed calls from James. She ignored them, not ready to talk to him about the fact that he was the Guardian yet. She would probably just raise her voice. She also had a snapchat from Alex, that was a selfie of Alex and Maggie cuddling on her couch. “All Better J” was the caption. _Thank Rao_ , Kara thought to herself.

Finally, she had a text message from Clark.

TEXT FROM: CLARK: _I heard about that stunt Lex pulled. Don’t worry, I paid him a visit. He shouldn’t be bothering you or Ms. Luthor for quite some time._

Kara smiled, relieved, and then furrowed her brow, texting him back rapidly.

TEXT TO: CLARK: _I appreciate that. I would have appreciated it more if you would have helped me out when all of this started, instead of waiting until someone more important to you than a Luthor got hurt._

It was harsh for her to say, but she thought that he needed to hear it. As she put her phone back in her pocket, her stomach growled loudly.

She was _starving_.

She wandered out into the apartment, only to find Lena Luthor in her kitchen. Cooking.

“Uh…what’s going on here?” she asked, smiling.

“I thought,” Lena said, turning away from the stove to face Kara, “it would be nice to show my gratitude for you inviting me to stay here by cooking dinner. And then…I remembered that the only thing I know how to make is grilled cheese. So…hopefully you like grilled cheese.”

Lena scraped a grilled cheese out of the frying pan on the stove and added it to a very large pile of already made sandwiches.

“Oh my god, you are a life saver,” Kara said, taking a sandwich in each hand. “I’m probably going to eat most of these in the next five minutes.”

Lena chuckled.

“I figured that if made enough for twelve people, it might just be enough to keep you happy for at least an hour.”

“Maybe half an hour,” Kara replied, mouth full. “You make an awesome grilled cheese.”

“I’ll be sure to add that to my resume.”

Kara new that now was the time to finally tell Lena that Lex and his accomplice were no longer a threat. That she was safe again, and didn’t need to stay with Kara for her own safety. But she didn’t want to tell her. She couldn’t tell her. She had just gotten Lena into her life in this impossibly intimate way, and she didn’t want to let that go. On a day like today, it felt like Lena’s company was the only thing holding Kara together. She wanted to be as close to Lena as she could, every minute that she could, in every way possible. She couldn’t pretend that this wasn’t the truth anymore.

As Lena sat across the table from her, smiling brightly, looking absolutely perfect, Kara had a thought. A realization maybe. One that she never saw coming.

*

After they ate, Kara shut herself up in her office, typing out an article she could actually be proud of. It was definitely more so because she needed to feel like a real reporter again than it was about how she needed to hide from the feelings she suspected she might be developing for Lena. Why try to define this weird new feeling in the pit of her stomach when she could work towards finally getting herself closer to a front page piece?

By the time she emerged, it was well after midnight, and Lena was asleep in Kara’s bedroom. Kara sighed, relieved that she didn’t have to see her just yet, and plopped down onto her futon for what would likely be a sleepless night.

 

*

 

Lena needed to stop this.

She needed to stop falling so hard for Kara Danvers. The question was, how the hell was she supposed to do that? When it was so incredibly easy to drift off to sleep in Kara’s room at night, her scent still on her pillow, only regretting that Kara wasn’t in there with her. When literally everything Kara did was a combination of impossibly adorable and incredibly sexy.

It didn’t help that Kara made her feel like they were already together. She brought her breakfast. She watched Netflix with her until she fell asleep. She curled up next to her to take a nap while Lena read. She swore that if Alex hadn’t knocked on the door that Kara would have…

No. She was reading into it too much. Kara was a naturally affectionate person, and Lena was reading too much into everything. And if she didn’t stop that…something bad would happen.

What were all those bad things, again? Sitting up in Kara’s bed on Sunday morning, bracing herself to face another day being far too close to Kara for comfort, Lena was fighting to keep reminding herself of what they were.

_“You know I’ve always…tolerated…your attraction to women…”_

Oh, yeah, she thought, remembering the venom in Lex’s voice. That was why.

She felt a cold uneasiness form in the pit of her stomach, and she held her face in her hands, pushing away memories that threatened to bubble to the surface and remind her just how easily manipulated she still was by Lex’s and his mind games. She couldn’t even tell what parts of her mind were hers anymore, there seemed to be no line between the things that Lex and the rest of the Luthor family had intimidated her into feeling and the things she felt naturally and on her own.

She snapped back, sitting perfectly straight again. Well, she couldn’t sit in here all morning being miserable.

That Sunday passed by a lot more uneasily than the day before. Kara still bolted in and out of the apartment intermittently, citing ‘work reasons’ each time. When they were together, they both spoke little. It seemed that both of them had made a silent decision to give each other space. Lena knew her reasons, she just didn’t know Kara’s. But it didn’t matter, Lena couldn’t let herself feel upset that Kara wasn’t her usual warm, inviting self. This was what Lena wanted, anyway.

Yeah. This was what she wanted.

At one point, Kara dropped of an L-Corp issues laptop for Lena to use. She had never been more grateful to handle work stuff in her life.

She had exactly…213 emails from her assistant Jess. She felt incredibly guilty and selfish for not trying harder to get back to her responsibilities at L Corp until now.

After diving into the first few emails containing the minutes of some recent meetings, Lena chuckled to herself, realizing that Jess had added a signature to the end of each of her emails:

“P.S WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK????”

Lena also noticed that Jess had sent her over thirty listings of local apartments for her to consider, each one with an added review by Jess herself, who apparently considered herself to be a real estate expert.

Lena frowned as she browsed through the listings casually. For one, because none of them looked as inviting as Kara’s apartment. And two, because she wasn’t even sure if it was safe for her yet to be on her own again. She found it strange that no one at the DEO, who was supposed to be keeping an eye on her, had given her any kind of update since the attack on Supergirl. She had half a mind to scold Kara’s sister for being so casual about the whole thing.

Scrolling through some more of the emails, not really reading them, Lena knew two things for certain. That no matter how unappealing it sounded, she needed to back to work tomorrow, and she needed to get out of Kara’s apartment as soon as possible.

When Kara came back from her fourth of fifth ‘work related thing’, it was dinner time, and Kara was hauling in large bags of takeout before Lena had even started to consider what she might be in the mood for. It didn’t matter, though, because Kara seemed to have picked out just about one of everything imaginable. She was already warmer towards Lena than she had been when the day started, as if she were too distraught by whatever else was on her mind to keep up the pretense of maintaining distance between them. Lena told herself to resist doing the same.

After dinner, they sat on the couch together, Kara calling her sister to discuss with her the events of the show they were evidently watching together, Lena clacking away on her laptop. Lena wondered why Kara hadn’t simply invited Alex over, but she thought it might be because she thought Lena would be uncomfortable with it. She felt like a burden to Kara, making her divert her normal life to accommodate her needs. After the television show in question was over, Kara was suddenly closing the gapt that had been established between the two, snapping Lena’s laptop shut for her and replacing it with a pillow so she could lay her head in Lena’s lap.

Yeah, Kara wasn’t all that good at keeping her distance from people.

“Something’s bothering me,” she said simply.

Lena let herself relax about the fact that Kara was suddenly invading her personal space. She assumed that this was something she did with her sister Alex all the time. And there was nothing that could be romantic about that.

“What’s that?” Lena asked.

Kara let out a huff of air.

“So there’s this guy I work with…”

Lena sighed. She had lost count of how many times she had listened to girls she was in love with talking about boys they were in love with. She rested against the couch, prepping herself to go through a well-rehearsed series of responses.

“Is he attractive?” Lena asked generically.

“What?” Kara asked, confused by Lena’s question. “That has nothing to do with this. I don’t like him. Like that. He just sort of…dropped into my life one day and has been my responsibility ever since. And that was fine, at first, because I didn’t mind helping him…at work…but then the other day…he kissed me.”

Lena wasn’t actually sure if the point of this story was that she liked this guy or not, so she just kept her mouth shut, nodding her head.

“And. I wasn’t okay with it. I’m all about consent, you know? And I didn’t see it coming, and he was half asleep, so the whole thing was just uncomfortable and unwarranted. But after that happened, he dropped it, so I thought I was safe again, right? No,” she snapped, becoming more animated as her story went on. “Out of nowhere he started telling me how he had feelings for me and basically making it my fault that he felt the way he did. And making me feel bad for not reciprocating.”

“That’s…actually really messed up. What did you tell him when he said all of this to you?”

Kara threw her hands in the air.

“Nothing, really. I was caught off guard. And I saw him at work today and he was being all broody and quiet. And like, okay, buddy, you keep doing that and I’m gonna keep doing my job like a normal person, because I didn’t ask for any of this, you know? And part of me thinks it would just make sense to like him back, you know? To just go ahead and try it out, because it would just be easier, and it might end up actually working out between us. But…I don’t. I don’t want that. I thought I knew what I wanted for a while…but…don’t know what I want anymore. I have all these new feelings I’m trying to figure out. Really sudden feelings. That I’m not used to. Like, at all.”

Kara let her lips buzz together as she let out a breath, clearly frustrated with her own train of thought.

Lena considered her for a minute…wondering if there was something more to what she was saying…

_Nah. That was ridiculous._

“Hmm,” Lena replied after a few moments, “Want me to see if I can hire any of Lex’s old henchman to beat him up?”

Kara belly laughed, rolling in closer to Lena for a moment. She didn’t think the joke was that funny. Maybe Kara was just laughing at the whole situation. She didn’t know. All she knew was that Kara felt entirely too close, wrapped around her stomach, laughing. Lena held her breath until Kara rolled away again.

“No,” Kara said, wiping a laugh-induced tear from her eye. “Thank you, though. I appreciate the very unethical offer.”

Kara’s eyes darkened for a moment, looking up at Lena, blue eyes incredibly intense, like there was something important that she needed to say, but she didn’t. She sat up again, sitting stiff and still for a while.

“Hey, um,” she finally said, “I need to add some adjustments to my article before I send it in to my boss in the morning. Do you mind?”

“Of course not,” Lena said. She wondered if she should be worried about Kara, but as open as Kara had always been with Lena up until now, she knew that if she needed to talk to her about something, she would.

Kara closed herself into her office quietly. Lena settled back onto the couch, trying to figure out what was happening on this show Kara had now put on. Something about a brunette girl with a bunch of clones of herself; she had missed half of it in conversation with Kara. She relaxed against the couch, enjoying the calm silence of Kara’s apartment, wondering how much longer she would let herself stay here. She found herself starting to doze off, until she was startled by the large living room window swinging open. Lena gasped, leaping out of her seat.

Supergirl was the last person she expected to see. And yet, there she was, drifting through the open window as if she came and went with the changes in the wind, touching down in the apartment gently. She looked concerned, in a way that reminded her of the night she came to ask Lena about her mother, before everything went wrong. She knew that she had asked Supergirl to stay away from her, and until now Lena had been convincing her that she didn’t miss her. But now that Supergirl was standing in front of her, she realized that she still, pathetically, ached for her.

“Is Kara here?” Supergirl asked, crossing her arms, as if she were uncomfortable in her own skin.

 _Oh yeah_ , Lena thought. _The other girl you’re in love with. Because no one has ever been worse at ignoring their feelings for women. Are you happy now, Lena? Now that you’ve made this whole situation impossibly complicated?_

“She’s in her office. I can go get her if…”

“No,” Supergirl interrupted. “I came here to talk to you.” She leaned against the open window, looking out at National City, keeping a respectful distance from Lena.

Lena swallowed. She almost let herself forget how intoxicating it was to be around Supergirl. Of course she knew that Lena was here. She seemed to somehow know everything.

“I’m sorry about what happened to you yesterday,” Lena said quietly. “You didn’t deserve that.”

Kara’s eyes stayed fixed on the window opening.

“That’s why you asked me to stay away from you, right?” Supergirl asked, sounding hurt and angry, “To protect me?”

Lena remained silent, unable to say anything that would make herself feel better about the situation. Instead, she nodded.

“That didn’t help anything, did it?”

Lena felt her chest tighten.

“That’s not fair,” she said.

“It wasn’t fair for you to put my safety ahead of our friendship without my consent, either, Lena.”

Lena clasped her hands in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” Lena replied, “I thought I was doing the right thing for your sake. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you because I selfishly wanted to keep you in my life.”

Supergirl turned towards Lena more, still allowing herself to blend into the evening glow of the city scape, body language softening.

“It’s taken care of,” Supergirl said, her voice more soothing than before. “The man who attacked both of us has been taken into custody, and your brother has…been coerced to see the error of his ways. For a little while, at least. In other words, you’re safe. You see, Lena, sometimes it’s good to let other people help you.”

Lena sighed, long and heavy, as if she had been holding her breath since Lex attacked her apartment.

“Thank you, Supergirl,” Lena said cautiously.

Supergirl let out an exasperated breath.

“Oh, for goodness sakes, Lena, are you ever going to let me in?”

Lena let out a quick, breathy laugh. It sounded desperate and full of longing, despite her best efforts.

“I don’t have to,” she said, gesturing to the open window, “You’ve always managed to find your own way in just fine.”

Laughing, Supergirl closed the space between them, pulling Lena into a tight hug. Lena melted into it, breathing in the faint scent of salt water in her suit from her entanglement with Lex’s missile that morning. She pulled her face away from the crook of Supergirl’s neck enough so she could take an indulgent moment to memorize every detail of the face she had so sorely missed. Supergirl kept her hands placed firmly on the sides of Lena’s waist, just above her hips.

 The energy between them palpably changed in an instant, goosebumps forming on Lena’s skin as she fought to catch her breath. Supergirl’s blinked rapidly, eyes widening and settling on Lena’s lips. She swallowed hard.

There was no way to really know who initiated it. Lena didn’t know if either of them consciously chose what happened until it was already happening. But regardless, the next second Lena found her lips softly pressed against Supergirl’s, unmoving, still deciding if they even belonged there. It was Supergirl who then moved to deepen the kiss, gripping Lena’s waist tightly, leaving her weak.

 _You disappoint me_ , Lex’s voice thundered in her head.

Lena lurched away from Supergirl, gasping for breath, fighting back tears.

“Oh, no, Lena…I’m…I’m sorry…I…” Supergirl reached a hand out towards Lena pleading for forgiveness. Lena couldn’t speak, couldn’t find a way to explain why she had pulled away that didn’t make her sound pathetic. She covered her mouth with her hand, frozen in agonizing silence.

“I’m sorry,” Supergirl pleaded again, and took off out the window.

 

“Oh, God,” Lena cried out to herself, letting the tears begin to fall.

*

“Oh, God,” Kara whispered, pressing her back into the wall of her office, wondering what the hell she had just let herself do.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert screaming here*  
> LISTEN THOUGH clearly Lena has a lot of unhealthy conditioning she has to unpack and work through before this can even work. We're gonna get there, though. PS Kara what are you even doing. Kara. You're killing me. 
> 
> On a personal note, I'm gonna try to do as much with this as I can in the next week, it's both my and my brother in law's bdays this weekend so I'm gonna be busy, but I'm gonna do my best, cuz I can't just leave these poor kids where they are like this...it hurts me too much. 
> 
> Updates are every Thursday. Pls comment and chat with me about these two and their bullshit while I groan at all the canon crap in season 2 I don't agree with. 
> 
> See you soon ;)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get by with a little help from their friends...and their sister's girlfriend...and the sister of the girl they have a crush on...

Okay. Maybe Alex had been right. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea for Kara to ask Lena to come stay with her awhile, after all. Because, just objectively speaking, it took just over two days for the whole thing to blow up in Kara’s face, and for Lena to all but run out of there. It certainly felt like she ran. One minute Kara was making some pretty impulsive decisions as Supergirl, and the next Lena was calling for a driver, packing up her clothes, and leaving the apartment. Kara didn’t even know where Lena was going. She didn’t know if she had found an apartment, or if she was going to stay at a hotel, or if she was even going to stay in the city. She just up and left. And, honestly, Kara couldn’t blame her.

She really messed up. Sitting alone on her couch at three in the morning, Kara felt like she was suddenly sobering up, and she realized just how terrible she had been behaving. What was wrong with her? What was she thinking when she came to Lena in her super suit acting as if Lena owed her something? Why did she lie to her? Why did she…

She shook that last thought off. If she started to think about that kiss she would have a hard time thinking about anything else. And she had to figure out how to fix this.

Well, she always could think more clearly while she was working…yeah…beating up bad guys seemed like a good idea right now…

When the sun came up, Kara was sore, exhausted, and no closer to finding a way to fix things with Lena than she was six captured bad guys ago. After a quick shower, she made a couple of drastic changes to her article, prepped it to hand in to Snapper, and headed to CatCo, making sure to ask for extra espresso in her latte to get through what was likely going to be a very long day.

“What’s this?” Snapper asked when she handed him her article.

“Story on the explosion in the bay, sir.”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Little critical of your caped girl crush, aren’t you?”

Kara shrugged.

“Not everyone is perfect. She’s been making mistakes lately. She’s not there when she needs to be, she leaves a path of destruction in her wake, and she acts without thinking.”

“Did Supergirl know you were going to put her on the spot like this when she permitted an interview?”

“I’m a journalist,” Kara said sternly, “it’s not my job to write what people want to hear.”

Snapper considered her a moment.

“Alright. Make it legible, and we can run it.”

He handed the piece back to her, red corrections scribbled everywhere. She didn’t even see him take out his red pen!

She didn’t think that calling herself out through a major news outlet was going to help anything. But, even if it wasn’t necessarily healthy, writing out a lot of the negative things she thought about herself made her feel better, at least temporarily.

Lena hadn’t reached out to Kara since last night. No text messages. No calls. Nothing. Kara had no idea what Lena was up to, if she was settled in somewhere, if she was okay. Even though Lena had only stayed in her apartment for a couple of days (before Kara screwed everything up), Kara already felt a large hole in her life where Lena had been.

She sighed, settling into her drab, empty office, trying to figure out what to do next, trying to think of a way to shake the crushing loneliness she felt at that exact moment.

Kara’s phone pinged.

                 NEW TEXT FROM: DET. MAGGIE SAWYER: _Couldn’t help but notice a pile of cuffed criminals waiting for me outside the precinct this morning. Late night?_

Kara hesitated before replying. She almost forgot that Maggie knew how she was now.

_How do you know it wasn’t the Guardian?_

                TEXT FROM: DET. MAGGIE SAWYER _: He hasn’t developed a sense of style yet. Leaves more bruises on his perps than you. You forget that I am very good at my job. So. Is there something you need to talk about or should I expect these late night rampages to become more common?_

Kara sighed, resting her forehead against the palm of her hand.

_Got time to meet? Just…don’t mention any of this to Alex, okay?_

The two women met for lunch at Noonan’s. Kara didn’t want to go to the alien bar, she was afraid of running into Mon El. That was the last thing she needed.

Kara was on her second double shot mocha and third cinnamon roll by the time Maggie arrived. She felt like her whole body was buzzing with energy.

“Hey, there, Energizer Bunny,” Maggie said, sitting across the table from Kara, amused. “You alright, there?”

Kara realized that not only was she strumming her fingers against the tabletop rapidly, but both her feet were tapping against the floor, rapidly.

“Oh, psh. Yeah. I’m fine. Just…uh…a little tense, that’s all.”

Maggie stayed silent, watching her, waiting for Kara to say what it was she needed to say. Finally, Kara let out a long breath, tapping her head lightly against the tabletop and hiding her face behind her arm.

“I messed up, Maggie.”

“Does this have anything to do with Lena high tailing it out of your place late last night?”

Kara looked up at Maggie, shocked.

“Like I said, Little Danvers, good at my job.”

Kara sat up, taking another sip of coffee. The excessive caffeine and sugar was starting to give her a stomach ache. Or maybe that was the sinking feeling in her gut she had been feeling since Lena leapt away from her touch like she was made of exposed wires.

“She didn’t leave because of me. She left because of Supergirl. But I obviously contributed to that. And…and she did leave because of me, Kara me, too, because I just…I made a lot of stupid decisions in the past couple days. And I thought I was doing everything I was doing to help her and be there for her…but it was really all for me. Everything I did was because of what I wanted, even if I didn’t know what it was that I wanted…” Kara took a breath. “I lied to her. I manipulated her, really, by putting her in a situation she couldn’t escape. And then I…”

Kara buried her head in her hands.

“What made you behave that way?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what do you want, Kara?” Maggie asked.

Kara shook her head, still hiding behind her hands.

“You’re gonna have to say it if you want me to help you.”

Kara sat up again, wondering if Maggie’s stubbornness was one of the things Alex liked about her. The thought of saying how she felt out loud made a lump form in her throat. She felt a tightness form in her chest that she was becoming annoyingly familiar with. She remembered, suddenly, what Alex had said to her days ago when Lena was attacked, about the possibility that Kara had had a panic attack. As these nervous spells kept taking her over more and more recently, she was starting to wonder if Alex was right. Kara forced herself to take several long, slow breaths, willing the numb feeling in her head to go away.

“I want…her.” She sighed heavily. “I want to be with Lena.”

Maggie smiled slightly, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms.

“What,” Kara said, irritated by how vulnerable she felt. “Did you know that too?”

“No,” Maggie replied, shaking her head. “Honestly, my guess was that it was the other way around. Do you mind if I ask why you haven’t tried to talk to Alex about this?”

Kara shrugged.

“I’m too embarrassed, honestly. Now that I realize I have a crush on Lena, I’m looking back at the way I was behaving and…I’m so mortified that I just want to fly off the planet and never come back. Plus, I didn’t want to steal Alex’s coming out thunder, not while I’m still not 100% sure what’s…going on with all of,” she pointed to herself, waving her hand around, “this.”

Maggie tilted her head, frowning.

“You are not stealing your sister’s thunder.”

Kara pinched her thumb and pointer finger together. “Little bit, yeah. And anyway, there’s nothing to tell. She’s the only girl I’ve ever been…attracted to, and she doesn’t seem to feel the same way. At least, she doesn’t feel that way about Supergirl.”

Maggie’s eyes widened for a second, like a silent cue for her to tell her more. Kara could feel the crinkle between her eyes forming.

Kara leaned in to the table, dropping her voice to a whisper.

“I…kissed her. As Supergirl. Which was so stupid of me because A) she asked Supergirl to stay away from her, for perfectly understandable reasons, and I ignored her wishes because I was feeling all…mushy. And confused. And B) if there had been a best case scenario, and she would have kissed me back, well, then what? That would prove that she would like Supergirl and not me. So I wouldn’t have been any better off than I am now because I would have had to hide how I felt about her while I was Kara. And that would have been impossible!” She slumped her shoulders. “But none of that matters. Because when I kissed her, she pretty much ran away. She was so freaked out that she left the apartment, and I don’t know if I, Supergirl or Kara, will ever see her again. I wouldn’t blame her if I didn’t.”

“Are you sure you didn’t just catch her off guard?” Maggie asked.

“What do you mean?”

Maggie rolled her eyes.

“I mean that you’re feeling regret for how your actions caused a negative response from Lena, but you still aren’t stopping to think of why she had that reaction. Maybe it’s not just about you, maybe she has other stuff going on that she needs to work through. I mean, come on, Kara, she grew up with the Luthors. You think she made it through that childhood without any issues?”

Kara blinked at Maggie a couple times. If she hadn’t felt self-absorbed before…she certainly did now. How had she not thought of that?

“So what do I do?”

Maggie laughed.

“I don’t know, Little Danvers. Give her some space. Apologize if you can, but just…be a little less smothering and a little more understanding. You might be right, she might not feel the same way about you, but you can at least be there for her as a friend, right?”

Kara cleared her throat.

“You’re right. You’re right. But I just…I want to fix it. I want there to be something I can do to just…make everything the way it was before.”

“Well…you can’t. If it makes you feel better, I don’t think you’re the bad guy here. I think that love just makes you do stupid things.”

Kara scoffed, followed by an uncomfortable laugh.

“I don’t…I’m not…”

Maggie smirked.

“I’m…” Kara tried to continue, before sinking in her chair, defeated. “I’m in trouble.” She hid her face for a minute, recuperating. “Just…don’t tell Alex any of this, okay? I’m not ready yet.”

“Sure thing, Kara. But you will tell her eventually, yeah? I hate the thought of keeping something from her.”

Kara nodded, sucking down the last of her coffee.

Yeah. She was in trouble.

 

*

 

Kara took Maggie’s advice and gave Lena her space, even though it went against every instinct that she had. She felt like there was a chance she was just making things worse, like maybe Lena might construe it as Kara ignoring her, or blowing her off. Supergirl even more so. Nothing screams “supportive superhero friend” like making a move on your friend and then quite literally flying out of her life when she didn’t reciprocate. She just wanted to see her, explain to her why she did what she did. But that was the wrong thing to do, she knew that. This whole mess came from Kara being unable to respect Lena’s boundaries. So, if Lena wanted space, Kara had to give it to her, even if it killed her.

Kara continued to devote herself entirely to her work. Hunting down stories to report on, punching her way (as Supergirl) through sticky situations that might arise as a result of tracking said stories, and continuing to keep Maggie busy with new perps to arrest. She hadn’t seen or heard from Alex much lately. She would always be there for Kara when she needed her, but at the moment she was fully devoted to her new relationship. And that was okay. At least, it would be, once Kara got used to it. Just a few months ago, when she needed a happy place that wasn’t with Alex, she would, ironically, hang out in Cat Grant’s office, but she was gone now. She was spending less time at the DEO than she probably should have been. When she was there she usually either ran into Winn, who she was still angry at, or Mon El, who she was growing increasingly annoyed by the longer he drew out the whole ‘unrequited love’ routine. Especially because she was afraid of the thought that she might have been behaving the same way in regards to Lena.

No. There was no way she was that bad.

James had tried to reach out to her several times. Most notably when her article about Supergirl had been published. He was waiting for her in her office.

“Everything okay?” he had asked.

Kara had crossed her arms, pursing her lips in anger. Very intimidating, if she said so herself.

“Yeah, fine,” she said.

He held a print copy of her published piece in his hand, eyes searching her face.

“You sure? It’s not often you here Kara Danvers question Supergirl and her motives.”

“Well, good thing the Guardian is around, right? Nothing like an inexperienced, incredibly mortal human to handle all the dangers the city has to offer,” she said, shoving past him and leaving her office.

She knew, somewhere, deep down, that she was being unfair. He literally just came to check on her, and she somehow turned that into a fight about his bad decision making. And if she was willing to be more honest with herself, she might see a correlation between her over-stepping behavior towards Lena and her anger about not being able to control James and his decisions. But she was doing too much self-reflection as it was, she could tackle that later.

Kara was in a mental rut. She was questioning everything about herself; her current relationships, her past relationships, any life decision that seemed like a relevant stone in the path that led her here. She just felt…lonely. And confused.

And all of these things she felt just made her miss Lena more. It was amazing how quickly Lena came to feel like Kara’s closest friend. And now Kara was afraid that she was going to have to give that up, just because she was an _idiot_.

Three days in to her “Give Lena her Space” campaign, she broke down and started typing out a text to her.

_Hope you got settled into your new place_

No, she said to herself, backspacing. That could sound catty if Lena didn’t read her tone well.

_The apartment is pretty quiet without you here…_

No! Bad Kara!

_What’s up?_

Are you a 14 year old boy, now? Is that what’s happening? Kara huffed, frustrated with herself. She began to type out a new text.

_I hope you’re okay._

That was good. Right? She was about to hit send, when she saw the typing bubbles pop up. Lena was trying to text her. She swore her heart stopped.

               _I’m sorry_ , Lena texted.

Kara texted back rapidly.

_What? I’m sorry!_

               _What do you have to be sorry about?_ Lena replied.

Kara swallowed hard. She couldn’t tell her about the Supergirl bit, obviously. She bit her lip, trying to think of what to say.

_It’s just. I don’t think I was respectful of your boundaries. I sort of didn’t give you a choice to come stay with me and I forced you out of your comfort zone when you were trying to recover from a traumatic experience and…yeah…I’m sorry._

Lena’s text bubbles sat there for a very long time, hopping up and down, hiding their secrets, mocking Kara. It was torture. They disappeared once or twice, making Kara want to throw her phone, or say sorry fifteen more times, she couldn’t decide which. Finally, Lena texted back.

_You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ll spare you the sob stories but…I can have a hard time being close to people._

Kara sighed, feeling that familiar pull in her stomach that she felt around Lena. Now that she knew why she felt that way, she forced it away, afraid to push that barrier between the two of them again, even mentally.

_I should have been more sensitive to that. I’m sorry._

Lena texted back

_It wasn’t just you._

Kara was afraid to push the conversation further, because she knew she was getting back into that territory when she would have to start lying to Lena again.

_Well, whatever you need, I’m here for you. Even if you just need space._

It took Lena awhile to respond.

               _Thank you, Kara_ , she finally said.

She didn’t have to be face to face with Lena to sense that she was struggling between staying behind her carefully constructed wall and attempting to break through it. Her instinct, again, was to try and knock down that wall herself. But she knew that was the same thing she would have done when she had screwed everything up, so she forced herself to leave the conversation where it was, whether or not it made her fidget incessantly to do so. She needed more coffee…

 

*

 

Lena leaned back in her office chair, feeling like at least part of the weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had no idea how Kara felt after she ran out on her that night, since she hadn’t reached out to Lena at all. Lena’s first instinctual thought was that Kara had been scared off by her erratic behavior, like many other friends before her had, and that had hurt. Now, she realized that Kara was giving her space, letting Lena have time to get back to a better place. She couldn’t help but feel entirely undeserving of Kara.

And, if she was being honest with herself, space had been what she needed. Both from Kara and, more importantly, from Supergirl, who was always somehow linked to Kara in ways Lena couldn’t understand. She had let herself become so weak recently, so helpless and dependent on someone others, Kara and Supergirl especially. And whether or not she was steadily growing to despise the Luthor family and all the damage they had done to her, one thing worthwhile she had learned from them was to never be dependent on others. And after the past couple days of being alone, in a new place, in new clothes (that she had picked out, dragging Jess along with her so that she could have better judgement next time), and back to work, she was finally feeling like Lena Luthor again. Looking back on just a few days ago, she couldn’t believe how vulnerable she had let herself become. It was pathetic.

No, she said to herself, she was stronger alone. She let herself have a moment of self-indulgence to smooth things over with Kara, and she was glad for it, for the closure to the odd way she had left things. But, going forward, it was better to keep Kara at arm’s length, though she was sure that Kara would have a very different interpretation of how far arm’s length was. But now that she was finally feeling like the strong, powerful Lena Luthor she was always supposed to be, she knew that she would just have to be the one to maintain that distance. And the same thing went for Supergirl, though, that was easier said than done when she tended to drop into her life unannounced, sweeping her off her feet, sometimes literally. But, judging by the way she had taken off after kissing Lena, after Lena had sort of, well, freaked out, she wasn’t sure that she would be seeing Supergirl any time soon.

Lena opened her laptop, resuming her work on what were some of her most exciting LCorp projects yet.

She was better off alone. She always had been.

 

*

 

Alex tapped on the counter of her kitchen island with her fingertips, sipping on her beer, mind occupied. Maggie sat across from her, hand reaching slowly for the last piece of pizza. She squinted her eyes at Alex.

“Earth to Danvers?” Maggie called, waving the pizza slice around for emphasis.

Alex blinked several times, coming back to reality.

“Sorry, what?”

“Were you seriously gonna let me eat the last slice of pizza? You always eat the last slice of pizza, just because you wouldn’t be able to if it were just you and Kara.”

Alex shrugged her shoulders, still struggling to focus on the here and now with Maggie.

“Umm, no I don’t care. I’m full.”

Maggie tossed the pizza back in the box, crossing her arms.

“What’s on your mind?”

Alex sighed. There was no hiding anything from Maggie.

“Why do you think Lena just up and fled Kara’s apartment? I mean, do you think it was something Kara said or did? Do you think Kara’s okay?”

Maggie blew out a long breath, lips vibrating.

“I don’t know. Why, what do you think is going on?”

Alex took a sip from her beer, deciding whether or not she should tell Maggie the truth about Lena.

“Well…alright. Girlfriends are supposed to tell each other everything, right? So like…if someone tells me something in confidence, I can still tell you, right?”

Maggie chuckled.

“If that line of logic makes you feel better, then, sure. Why not?”

“Lena Luthor…” Alex leaned in closer to Maggie, as if they were telling a secret in a public place, “she’s gay.”

Her girlfriend’s eyes widened, but she stayed silent. Somehow Alex was expecting a bigger reaction than that. Alex threw a hand in the air, as if dramatic hand gestures would make new information sink into Maggie’s brain faster. Maggie shrugged.

“What?” she asked. “Should I be jealous or something?”

“What?” Alex scoffed, offended. “No! That’s not what I meant!”

“Well then why should I really care, Alex?”

“Well…because…I think that she might…have a crush on Supergirl.”

Maggie bit into her pizza slice, talking with her mouth full. “So? What does that have to do with Kara?”

“Mags! They’re the same person!”

“I know that. But Lena probably doesn’t. So my question is, what does Lena’s possible crush on Supergirl have to do with her high tailing it out of Kara’s apartment, leaving things between them palpably tense?”

Alex bit the inside of her cheek, thinking.

“Do you think she found out that Kara is Supergirl?”

Maggie shook her head. “Kara would have told you if that had happened.”

“Right. You’re right. What else could it be then?”

“Do you think Kara is just a really terrible roommate?”

Alex laughed.

“I mean, yeah, she is pretty annoying to live with. But it’s more than that. Kara seemed sort of…freaked out after Lena left, and she wouldn’t tell me why. Something happened that she doesn’t want to talk to me about.”

Maggie stared at Alex a moment, waiting for her to come to a conclusion. Alex gasped.

“Wait. Do you think something happened? Do you think Lena made a move on Kara?”

“How should I know? I wasn’t there!”

“Well…should I talk to Kara about it? No, should I talk to Lena? I mean, if there’s a possibility that she made a move on my little sister and then took off when Kara, or Supergirl, or whoever, rejected her, I should talk to her about it, right? She did tell me she was gay, so it’s not like I would be out of line to try to talk about it with her.”

Maggie shrugged.

“That’s your call, Alex. She may need someone to talk to. As long as you don’t get all Protective Older Sister on her like you did with Mon El…” 

“Oh, no,” Alex cut in, “I won’t be that bad. I actually don’t mind, Lena. Plus, it’s not like I have anything to worry about. Kara doesn’t like girls.”

Maggie gave Alex a look she couldn’t quite read. Alex laughed to herself.

Kara wasn’t into girls. Obviously.

 

*

 

The next afternoon Alex found her way up to Lena Luthor’s office. Lena’s security team was more than a little irritated to see her, seeing as her presence at LCorp usually meant that Lena’s life was in danger, or that there was about to be some very expensive rubble to clean up. She assured them, however, that nothing was amiss this time, and that she was only there for a social call. When she was ushered into Lena’s office, she at first thought that Lena didn’t even notice that she was there. She was totally absorbed in her work, typing away furiously at her computer.

“Can I help you, Agent?” Lena asked coolly, not looking away from her work. Alex cleared her throat, wondering how to go about asking what she wanted to ask.

“I wanted to check in, see how you were doing. As far as we know, there’s no reason to continue to be on high alert.”

“No,” Lena replied, turning her head slowly to Alex, but only occasionally glancing at her, still absorbed by her work. “It seems that Lex may just behave like a normal prisoner for a while. I’m actually glad you’re here. I wanted to thank you for all your help getting me back on my feet after the incident. And…for your discretion.”

“Of course,” Alex said, looking at the floor, feeling guilty that she had told two people about Lena’s secret already. “So, I guess you got all moved in to a new place? You, ah, headed out of Kara’s pretty quickly last week from what I heard.”

Lena’s eyes snapped towards Alex suddenly, forgetting her work. She cleared her throat.

“It was…time for me to regain my independence.”

Alex stepped closer to Lena’s desk.

“You’re pretty good at giving things that PR spin, aren’t you?”

Lena laughed despite herself.

“Occupational hazard,” she said, but still gave no more information.

Alex crossed her arms, trying to hide her frustration. She had no real reason to be frustrated with Lena except that she was a nosy sister and just wanted to know what had happened. Lena and Alex had a stare down for a while. Lena sighed, the poised professionalism slumping out of her shoulders.

“You’re not going to leave me alone until I talk to you, are you?” Lena said.

Alex smirked, shaking her head ‘no’. Lena rolled her eyes.

“Let’s just say that my efforts to keep Supergirl at a distance to keep from antagonizing my brother were of no use. She…had ideas of her own.”

There was a whole hell of a lot of questions whizzing around in Alex’s mind because of that statement, and she had to try to keep her face, and voice, as neutral as possible.

“Uhh, what do you mean by that?” Alex said, monotone.

Lena tried to regain the upper hand of the conversation.

“You know, Alex, this really isn’t something I feel comfortable talking about.”

Alex saw a lot of who she was very, very recently in Lena Luthor. The same insecurity, the same fears. Forcing herself to forget for a moment that she was talking to someone trying to be involved with her sister, who as far as Alex knew was straight, she moved to sit in the chair across from Lena’s desk.

“Lena, you have to have someone to talk to about this kind of stuff. If it helps you to know, I’m gay, too, and I just came out very recently, so I know how you’re feeling.”

Lena stared at Alex a moment, eyes wide and unblinking. She then relaxed again, looking more at ease than she did before.

“Don’t think of me as some love struck fool, Alex. I didn’t spend my time pining over Supergirl like some Lois Lane. I was perfectly okay with keeping my distance from her, especially if that kept us both safer, it would just mean that I had lost a dear friend. Was I attracted to her? I mean, who wouldn’t be?”

Alex tried not to grimace.

_Gross, no._

“But I thought it was a fleeting thing,” Lena continued. “I was even letting myself be distracted by…other infatuations. And then Supergirl showed up. And she seemed frustrated, flustered even, by my icing her out, as it were. And then…”

“You kissed her?” Alex suggested, unaware that she and inadvertently leaned in during Lena’s story. She was a sucker for good gossip. And this was _good_.

“Um,” Lena said, pulling away from the conversation a bit. “I think it was actually her who kissed me.”

In her head, Alex imagined her jaw dropping, cartoonishly, to the floor. In real life, she somehow, miraculously, kept her mouth shut. She knew that her eyes were probably frighteningly wide, but she couldn’t help it. Kara kissed Lena Luthor.

Kara kissed Lena Luthor.

_Kara Danvers, her adopted baby sister, of assumedly sound mind and body, had kissed Lena Luthor. **And she didn’t even tell her about it.**_

“Alex?” Lena asked. “Is everything okay?”

“Um, yeah,” Alex responded, trying to keep her calm. “That’s, um, that’s really interesting. But, this was Sunday, right? So, Supergirl, um, did that, and then you decided to leave Kara’s place? Why?”

Lena sighed.

“Look, Alex. I care about your sister. I really do. Maybe a little too much for my own good. And between letting myself be totally absorbed into Kara’s little universe and then Supergirl…it became suffocating. It was too much to handle for someone like me. I can’t let myself entertain such…daydreams as I had there.”

Alex tilted her head, realizing, tragically, that poor Lena was in love with two women, and had no idea that it was really just one woman. A woman who _kissed Lena first and didn’t even tell Alex about it_. Lena was in love with a _jerk_.

“It would lessen who I am, you see,” Lena continued, “to allow such notions. I used to think that the only reason that I never pursued romances was because of my family and their prejudices. But, now that I’ve seen how completely useless I become when entertaining such notions…no. I can’t allow it. I have an empire to run, Agent Danvers. I don’t have time to pine over girls.”

Alex could hear Lena trying desperately to convince herself that she meant what she was saying. And Alex wanted to help her feel better about herself and her sexuality, especially since she saw so much of herself in Lena. But…what was she supposed to tell her? She had more than a few conflicts of interest, here. And she didn’t even know how Kara felt about any of this, so any advice she could even think to give might be wrong. She bit the inside of her cheek, thinking.

“Can I give you some advice?” Alex said finally.

“I encourage it,” Lena replied with a weak smile.

“I know where you’re coming from, with the whole ‘love is weakness’ thing. And if I’m gonna be real with you, it can sometimes be true. Falling for someone can be this terrifying, vulnerable, heartbreaking thing, it’s true. It can sometimes make you feel pathetic, and foolish. But if you fall for the right person, and you find a way to make it work with them, all that insecurity sort of…falls away. And even if it doesn’t fall away all at once, someone who’s truly good for you will help you along the way. Trust me, I know. And hey, if you’re worried about juggling work and relationships, I haven’t had any problems thus far.”

Lena considered Alex a moment, face frozen and expressionless. Alex knew there was a lot going on in Lena’s head that she would probably never say out loud, at least not to her, but she didn’t need to know everything, as long as she knew what she was trying to say was getting through. Even if what she was trying to say was a means for her to possibly be a wing woman for her sister? Who is apparently attracted to women, too? Whatever, she would think about that later.

“Well,” Lena eventually said, “I’ll be sure to think on what you said, Alex. For now, I have work to do. Thank you for stopping by.”

Alex nodded, getting up from her seat.

“Oh, one more thing,” Alex said on her way out, “No getting my sister involved in some love triangle. I won’t allow it.”

Lena’s mouth dropped open. Alex was out the door before she could reply.

 

 

 

 

*

 

Okay. It was official. Kara was going insane. It had been almost two weeks since she saw Lena. Other than their brief text conversation, they hadn’t communicated at all. Did Lena hate her? That was the only explanation for this cruel and unusual punishment. I mean. Two weeks? She kept expecting Lena to just drop by her office one day like she used to, and every day that she didn’t, CatCo felt a little more depressing to Kara. I mean, how much space did one person need? Kara never needed space. She knew so because Alex was currently giving her the cold shoulder over something. She couldn't figure out what. But she loved being around people, all the time. Was Lena just busy with work? She had fallen behind because of the incident. Yeah, that must be it.

Still, Kara kept the volume on her phone on, checking it every few minutes, you know, just in case. She thought about dropping by Lena’s office, but no, that was bad. She told Lena she would give her space if she needed it. She had to stick to that.

Well…Kara did…Supergirl on the other hand…well, she hadn’t even given Lena a proper apology now, had she? That was just…rude of her. And it’s not like Supergirl had a phone to just text or call Lena, so how else would she be able to apologize to Lena other than to just…drop by her office?

She heard the voice in her head urging her to realize that this was a bad idea. She assured it that she was going to maintain her distance from Lena. No physical contact. She just…she needed to see Lena.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she was already flying towards Lena’s office balcony.

She touched down gently, the low late-afternoon sun behind her. Lena’s back was facing her, hard at work on a set of blue prints to some piece of tech she couldn’t possibly start to guess the function of. Kara hesitated, sure now that this was probably a mistake. The whole reason their relationship was strained was Kara’s inability to respect boundaries, and now here she was, standing outside Lena’s office, watching her. Like a stalker.

Well, now that she was there, she may as well knock so Lena doesn’t get freaked out by Supergirl watching her unannounced, right? She raised a hand to the glass door, palms sweating, and knocked gently. Lena jumped, spinning her chair around. Kara smiled shyly, waving. She couldn’t tell if Lena’s face softened with relief or fell with dread. After a moment, Lena put a thin smile on her face in return. That was a good sign, right? Lena walked tentatively towards the balcony door. Kara backed away from it, leaning against the railing, not wanting to be any closer to Lena than she had to be. She did so to reassure Lena that she was going to be more mindful this time, and to maintain self-control. The memory of that kiss she kept pushing away were suddenly flooding back to her, uninhibited, making Kara’s cheeks hot.

Lena opened the door, leaning her hip against it.

“I suppose I should have expected you to drop in eventually, since you apparently don’t believe in cell phones.”

“Oh, I have a cell phone. I just don’t use it for work,” Kara said, smirking.

No, she told herself, don’t fall back into that easy back and forth with Lena that always somehow draws you closer to her like you’re tethered together.

“Really?” Lena said, “Any chance I could get that number?”

Kara raised an eyebrow at her playfully.

“Well, a girl has to try,” Lena said.

The easiness to their conversation disappeared like a candle flame being blown out, leaving Kara cold and uneasy.

“So,” Kara said, picking at her fingernails, self-conscious. “I owe you at least one apology.”

Lena leaned against the railing of the opposite side of the balcony, as far from Kara as possible, looking poised and utterly shut off from Kara.

“Starting to question yourself, Supergirl? Have anything to do with some recent criticisms of you?”

Kara was confused for a second.

“Oh,” she said, realizing what Lena meant. “You mean that story by Kara Danvers?” Kara shrugged. “She’s a reporter, not my publicist. If there’s criticism to be said, than it should be said.”

Lena frowned. “What criticisms could possibly be made of National City’s hero?”

Kara fought the urge to move closer to Lena. God, she was hard to stay away from. Instead, she turned away from Lena, resting her elbows on the railing and looking out at the city scape.

“Well, if I were to take a crack at it. I’d say that she’s…stubborn. Impulsive. Unable to respect the wishes of others when she disagrees with their wishes. Uh, confrontational. Reckless…”

“Alright,” Lena cut in, trying not to laugh. “I get it. You regret what happened.”

“I don’t…” Kara started, still staring out at the city, struggling to say what she meant. “I don’t regret how I felt. I’m just sorry that I went about expressing it all wrong. It wasn’t fair to you.”

From far across the city, she could hear police sirens calling her attention. She forced herself to stay focused on Lena, how her shoulders tensed, how her body was turned away from Kara. She had never felt so closed off from Lena before.

“I’ll admit that I probably overreacted a bit,” Lena replied quietly. “I won’t get into all of the reasons why. And it’s not that, at the end of it all, I wasn’t flattered. But…”

Kara couldn’t begin to guess what Lena was going to say next, but it started with a ‘but’, so her heart was already sinking.

“I’m in love with someone else,” Lena said slowly.

_Oh_ , Kara thought.

That certainly explained a lot. Why Lena had reacted the way she did, why she had kept her distance from Kara these past few weeks. She loved someone. Someone that clearly wasn’t her.

Kara took a moment to push the hurt rising up through her back down for her to deal with later. The sirens in the distance grew louder, more urgent. Blinking away the wetness in her eyes, she turned towards Lena, forcing herself to smile.

“Well, then I really hope it works out for you, Lena. You deserve to be happy.”

“Supergirl,” Lena started to say. Kara shook her head, dismissing whatever it was Lena wanted to say to help. Nothing would help. The sirens were multiplying rapidly.

“It’s fine. Really. There’s something going on across town I have to deal with. I gotta go. But, I’m glad we talked. I’ll, um, see you around, Ms. Luthor.”

Kara took off towards whatever danger was unfolding before Lena could reply.

She meant what she said. She wanted Lena to be happy. It just, apparently, wasn’t her who would be able to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should...should you guys tell Kara, or should I? (I'm some kind of goddamn angst monster now idk whats even happening anymore)
> 
> Yeah, I know, I only have one chap this week, but it's kind of long? And I currently have bronchitis or some shit and have barely been able to breathe or function for the past three days so like I'M DOING MY BEST (I've got the black lung!) Ps I should have just made CampCounselor!Maggie a tag to this bc at this point...that's what she is. 
> 
> I literally don't know if the Vday ep is gonna be amazing or make me throw blunt objects at my TV so like, things in here may take some drastic turns depending on how pissed I get I dunno. 
> 
> Still loving you guys and your feedback, thank you :)) See you soon ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which my lazy ass keeps the action pretty close to canon, just gayer...(2/13 EP SPOILERS AHEAD!)

Okay, there was a difference between giving someone their space and just straight up ignoring them. Lena was sure that Kara was doing the latter, and it made her feel like a complete idiot.

_“I’m in love with someone else.” Psh. Good job, Lena, you scared away a super hot girl (literally) who liked you for a girl who now will not even answer a text message. Outstanding work._

What was she thinking when she turned Supergirl down like that? No one in their right mind would turn down Supergirl, not even a Luthor. Well, that probably wasn’t quite true. Lena sighed, tapping away furiously at her computer as she made some final edits for a promotional message for a new line of security tech set to launch at the end of the week. She wanted to take it back, to tell Supergirl that she was sorry, and that she was ready to stop hiding who she was because of old fears instilled by Lex and the rest of her family.

But she chose Kara. She had always known she would choose Kara, if she was being honest with herself. She got so wrapped up in the knowledge of that that she forgot one crucial thing: she didn’t know if Kara could or would choose her. And obviously she didn’t. If she had ever thought of Lena as at least a friend, well then that was clearly gone. Lena had texted, called, emailed, facebook messaged, everything. She tried to make each message about something different so it wasn’t quite so painfully obvious that she was pining, but she still got nothing. Any confidence Lena had gained back in her head first dive back into her role as powerful CEO was deflating quickly.

No, screw this. She was Lena Luthor. If she wanted to talk to CatCo reporter Kara Danvers, she would. And it would be on her terms. And if it ended in Kara turning her down…well…she would handle that heartbreak when she got to it. For now, she relished in the familiar rush of a fresh idea. Was she being rash? Maybe. But she didn’t finally decide she was ready to date women just to sit on that information because the girl she was in love with wasn’t answering her phone. No way.

“Ms. Luthor?” Jess paged from her desk outside the office.

Lena was jolted out of her inner monologue.

“Yes, Jess?”

“That lawyer is still calling me. About a testimony against your mother?”

Lena let out a long breath, closing her eyes. Okay, maybe all of this new found inspiration was a distraction from that other thing that was really bothering her.

“I’m too busy to worry about some silly court case, Jess. Tell him that if he’s good at his job he shouldn’t need me to put away the woman who literally set off a bomb over National City.”

Jess sighed loudly into the open line, so Lena could hear just how exasperated she had become with her work lately.

 

*

 

Kara was laying under a sunlamp in the medical bay of the DEO. Not because she had pushed herself too hard beating up bad guys or because she had come across any kryptonite. She just thought it would make her feel better. She was having a pretty crappy week. First of all, she was totally off her superhero game. It’s like her body kept forgetting she was almost invincible. Any time she had a gun pointed at her or was thrown around by an alien bad guy, she would lock up, her heart race would jump through the roof, and she would be totally unable to focus. Once or twice it had felt like she was outside of her body, watching herself struggle to do any basic crime fighting as if she had no control over it. She hated to say it, but she was grateful for James being able to step in once or twice to help out as The Guardian. She wouldn’t repeat that to him, though.

Alex was still mad at her about something, but any time she would ask Alex why she would say something like _“I don’t know, you tell me.”_ And Kara didn’t know what that meant! She didn’t remember doing anything to make her mad!

Meanwhile, she had been rejected by the girl she was in love with. And she had no one to talk to about it. Because no one knew she was in love with a girl. Except Maggie. And she didn’t want to keep bothering Maggie, especially when it clearly made her uncomfortable to lie to Alex. And she didn’t want anyone to know, now, either, considering that the news of her sexuality would just be followed with “and there’s this girl I like but she’s in love with someone else so I’m just as sad and pathetic and single as I was before! Yay!” The only person who liked her was Mon El…and…ew.

And now. She had to see Lena and have some salt rubbed in her wounds. She had the press pass clutched in her hand, considering if she should just crumple it up and throw it away.

Snapper had given it to her this afternoon right before she was ready to leave CatCo for the day.

“What is this?” she had asked.

“Press pass for that tech expo LCorp is hosting tomorrow.”

“But you have a guy who normally does all the tech reporting.”

“I know. And he’s way better at his job than you,” Snapper said, crossing his arms. “But Lena Luthor has asked specifically that you be there and no one else.”

Kara quirked an eyebrow at Snapper.

“Since when do you listen to what anyone tells you?”

“I don’t. But honestly I could give a rats ass about some expo your gal is trying to throw to divert attention away from her mother’s trial. That’s the real news. This,” he said, tapping on the press pass, “is fluff. So, go fluff. That’s a VIP pass, so I expect you to at least try to get Lena to talk about the trial while you chat her up backstage, got it?”

Kara’s eyes widened.

“You want me to hang out backstage and talk to Lena?”

Snapper groaned.

“Yes, Kara, that is what I want you to do. I thought you two were like, gal pals or something. I’m literally asking you to do what you do every day, waste company time and money by hanging out with your buddies instead of working, and now you have an issue with it because it actually sounds like work?”

“I don’t…” Kara began. “Alright, fine. I’ll go.”

“Fan-damn-tastic,” Snapper had said, already walking away from her.

So…Kara thought, sighing, apparently she had to see Lena tomorrow. Who she had been avoiding. She knew it was wrong of her to be dodging Lena’s texts and calls and emails…and even facebook messages, especially considering that Lena was probably in a bad place due to her mother’s trial, but she couldn’t help herself. Well, she could. But she didn’t want to. The idea of being around Lena, pretending nothing was wrong, pretending they were just close friends, pretending she wasn’t completely heartbroken, and pretending it didn’t kill her that Lena wanted someone else…it was too much. She couldn’t handle it. And it wasn’t fair to Lena that she was ignoring her, not when she had no way of knowing what Kara was feeling. But Kara was just…mad. Mad that things weren’t working out the way she expected, mad for screwing things up in the first place, and most of all, mad at whoever Lena had fallen for simply for…existing. And now she had to get over herself and go and see Lena tomorrow. What if the person she was in love with was there? How was she supposed to not throw them into space? What if Lena told Kara about how Supergirl had pathetically professed her love to a clearly uninterested Lena and Kara had to just pretend it didn’t hurt like heck, like it was just juicy gossip?

Kara groaned to herself under the sunlamp. This wasn’t working. She was utterly miserable.

Alex burst into the room Kara was in, the same perturbed look on her face that Kara was becoming so accustomed to. She put her hands on her hips, looking down at Kara.

“What are you moping about in here?”

Kara rolled her eyes.

“I’m fine,” she said.

Huffing, Alex sat on the bed Kara was laying on, pushing the sun lamp out of her way.

“You sure you’re not ready to tell me whatever it is you’ve been keeping from me?”

“That’s why you’re mad?” Kara exclaimed, “Because you think I’m hiding something from you?”

“Aren’t you?” Alex snapped.

Kara snapped her mouth shut before she let herself come back at Alex because, oh yeah, she was hiding something from her. A really big something, actually. Kara deflated into the bed.

“I thought that I liked someone…but they turned me down, so it doesn’t matter, okay?”

“Who was it?” Alex asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Kara repeated stubbornly.

“It does matter.”

“Can you please just drop it, Alex?”

“Nope.”

Kara glared at her sister, having a hard time letting go of all of the anger building up inside her to let herself see that her sister, in her annoyingly pushy way, was just trying to help. She threw her head against her pillow dramatically before sitting up to face her sister. She felt her stomach flipping over and over, realizing how nervous she was to tell her sister she was attracted to a girl. Alex grabbed a hold of her hand, urging her on. Kara took a breath.

“It’s Lena,” Kara barely whispered.

“What? What’s that?” Alex asked, holding her had to her ear dramatically. “I can’t hear you, Kara.”

Was Alex making fun of her?

“It’s Lena Luthor,” Kara said a little more loudly, suddenly furious with her sister.

Alex smirked.

“Well, then, that would explain why you kissed her,” she said,

Kara balked at Alex.

“You knew?” she practically shrieked.

“Of course I knew. I’m your big sister, I know everything.”

“But…how did you know? Did Maggie tell you?”

“Wait, Maggie knows?” Alex asked, offended.

“Don’t get mad at her, I made her promise not to tell you. I just…I had to talk to someone about it.”

“Yeah,” Alex yelled, “Me! You were supposed to talk to me!”

Kara threw her hands in the air.

“I didn’t want to take your coming out thunder!”

“Oh, that’s stupid,” Alex said, squeezing Kara’s hand, “I mean, you kind of are. But I’m cool with it.”

Kara couldn’t help but laugh. Even if they were still arguing, it felt good to be honest with Alex again.

“But what do you mean she turned you down?” Alex asked.

And just like that, Kara was miserable again.

“I went to see her as Supergirl. Again. Because I’m an idiot. And she told me she was in love with someone else.”

Alex was giving her a look like there was something very obvious Kara was missing.

“She’s not in love with Supergirl?”

“No.”

“Who is she in love with?”

“I didn’t ask, Alex, I was kind of feeling heartbroken.”

Alex groaned at Kara, looking at the ceiling a moment as if composing herself.

“Kara. She’s not in love with Supergirl. And as far as she knows, you’re not Supergirl. So…”

“So…what? Alex, what?”

“Kara, oh my god, you precious idiot. What if you are the person she’s in love with?”

Kara scoffed at her, sputtering to try to find a retort. Alex continued to give Kara a smug look.

“Oh, come on Alex, it’s not me.”

“Do you know that for sure?”

Kara frowned, clasping her hands together in front of her lap.

“Well, no.”

“Then there’s a chance that it’s you, right?”

“Alex…”

“Ergo, you need to go find out. If you’re right, you can continue to be all mopey and miserable. If you’re wrong…well…maybe you can actually let yourself be happy with someone for once in your life?”

Kara sighed, feeling so incredibly overwhelmed she couldn’t even begin to try to decide what she was going to do.

“Well,” she began, “I am supposed to interview her at the LCorp expo tomorrow.”

“There ya go!” Alex said, shoving Kara’s shoulder lightly, “Perfect opportunity to ask her! You can be like,” Alex pantomimed a mock impersonation of Kara, adjusting invisible glasses and scribbling in a nonexistent pad of paper, “So, Ms. Luthor, do you expect LCorp stock to go up this quarter? Oh and also, do you wanna make out?”

“Alex!” Kara exclaimed, cheeks flushing. “Stop.”

“What? I bet she would. Her mom is on trial, she’s probably feeling vulnerable and in need of a…soft touch.”

“Alex, I will dig up your eighth grade yearbook photos to show to Maggie if you don’t stop. You know, the infamous bangs and braces year?”

Alex gasped dramatically.

“You will not!”

“Then quit being gross!” Kara retorted.

“Alright, fine. But you have to do something. This whole piney thing is not agreeable with you.”

Kara rolled her eyes, switching the sun lamp off. Alex squeezed her knee before getting up from her seat on the bed.

“Hey, Alex?” Kara called to her before she left the medical room.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks,” Kara said.

Alex smiled.

“Of course.”

 

*

 

Okay. She could do this. Kara could do this. She spent a freaking hour picking her outfit out, so she had to at least see Lena so her efforts could be appreciated. Ever since she woke up that morning, throat felt like she had swallowed a hay bale. Her stomach was so knotted up it was probably looked like a knit scarf. The closer she got to LCorp Tech Expo, the more she felt a cold goosebumps prickling the back of her neck. Her palms were sweaty. She couldn’t think straight. Was this what it felt like to have a crush on a girl? Because it felt more like she had the flu. Earth poetry she read in grade school never inferred that being in love made you physically _sick_.

She could still just call this off, right? Just make up an excuse to Snapper, and go home? Right?

Kara flashed her pass at a security guard, who directed her to a separate door than the ones most of the press members and invitees were walking through. Okay, too late now, she guessed. Kara wanted to throw up. What was she going to say to Lena first? She had to decide now or she would probably choke on her words and just stutter stupidly for a while. Should she apologize for ignoring her for the past week? Yeah. That seemed like the best move. But did she have a good excuse to give her? She couldn’t tell her the truth, obviously. So, what? What excuse did the version of Kara Danvers that Lena knew have to going from being the closest of friends to not even answering calls?

She was doing that thing again. That thing when she let her mind wander back to that weekend Lena stayed in her apartment. She let herself remember smiling lips hiding behind coffee cups, silk pajamas, the feel of Lena’s hips under Kara’s fingertips…

“Kara!” Lena’s voice called behind her, pulling her out of a trance. Kara was happy for the dim lighting of the small refreshment area to the side of the main expo stage. Otherwise Lena would probably be able to see the deep flush on Kara’s cheeks.

“Lena, hi!” Kara replied, breathless.

God, Lena looked beautiful in her tight black dress. It reminded Kara of that night on that hill…though, this dress had a deeper neckline, much to Kara’s dismay. Lena’s silky dark hair was gathered on one side of her neck, leaving the other side exposed. Her signature red lipstick was its usual combination of striking and devilishly welcoming. Kara was… _screwed_.

“I wasn’t sure if you would even show,” Lena said, her usual air of intimidating self-confidence faltering for a second.

“I mean, of course I did…I…” Kara really should have thought out what she was going to say ahead of time. “Yeah. I don’t blame you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, Kara. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters to me. Unless,” she said, noticing the paper and pen in Kara’s hand, the smile on her face failing, “you’re here strictly on business.”

“Oh! Well, not entirely. Snapper isn’t that interested in reporting about the expo anyway.”

Lena’s eyes widened.

“Well that’s reassuring,” she said.

“No! That’s not what I meant…I…” Kara let out a long breath. “I’m just gonna stop talking. I’m not very good at it lately. Not around you.”

“I wish you wouldn’t,” Lena replied, a small smile on her lips, “I’ve missed you too much for us to just stand here in silence.”

“I’ve missed you too!” Kara blurted out, her voice way more eager than she intended. She didn’t know if it was a good idea to step closer into Lena’s space, but she did it anyway. “I don’t…I don’t have a good excuse for being distant this past week. I’m sorry.”

“I think I owe you an apology, too,” Lena said, Kara shaking her head before she could continue.

“Can we just…start over?” Kara asked, looking at the floor so she could keep from being drawn into Lena’s dizzying eyes. The last time Kara let herself get lost in them she had kissed Lena. She couldn’t let herself do that again, not now, anyway. She heard Alex’s mocking voice in her head. _“Oh, and also, do you wanna make out?”_

_Screw you, Alex_ , she thought to herself.

“I just…want us to be friends again,” Kara forced herself to say, letting herself look Lena in the eye for just a second.

Lena bit her lip, eyes moving from Kara’s eyes, to her mouth, and back up.

_Alright, this is just cruel._

“We could do that…” Lena said, stepping in closer to Kara than she herself would have ever dared.

Kara almost let herself forget the way Lena’s perfume smelled after it had finally faded from room, from her pillowcase, from her sheets... Now it hit her senses like a punch to the gut, sending a chill running through her. Kara shut her eyes inadvertently, listening to Lena’s heartbeat as it picked up slightly. When she lazily opened her eyes, Lena was smiling devilishly, as if she had ready Kara’s mind and knew exactly what it was she was picturing in her head.

“Or…” Lena continued, so close to Kara now that they were almost pressed together. Kara could feel Lena’s body heat against her own, and goosebumps began prickling her skin. “Maybe we could be more than that?” Lena whispered.

Kara was afraid to even breathe. Was this actually happening? Or was she dreaming? Admittedly, her dreams had had Lena as a guest star more than once recently…But as Lena’s blood red lips parted, no more than a centimeter away from Kara’s, she told herself that this had to be real. Kara Danvers was really about to kiss Lena Luthor. She was going to. She was…

“Lena Luthor!” a voice commanded from behind Lena’s back. The two women leapt apart from each other.

_Alright, who’s gonna die_ , Kara thought, looking angrily for the source of the voice. Maggie was approaching them quickly, in full uniform with two other officers flanking her.

What the hell was going on?

Lena spun around to Maggie, snapping instantly back into her composed, seemingly emotionless stature.

“Detective? Pardon me, but just what the hell are you doing here?”

Okay, maybe Lena was just as upset as Kara that they had been interrupted.

Maggie kept her eyes on Kara, trying to communicate something to her wordlessly. Kara didn’t know what it meant.

“Lillian Luthor has escaped from custody. We have video evidence of you aiding these efforts. You’re under arrest.”

“Maggie,” Kara said, instantly stepping between the two women. “Are you kidding? She didn’t do anything wrong, she couldn’t have.”

“Miss Danvers, I need you to step aside.”

“Hell no!” she yelled.

Maggie looked at her pleadingly.

“I’m just doing my job, Kara,” she said, voice low, “if you want to help, find a way to prove her innocence.”

“I am mad at you for like at least five different reasons right now,” Kara whispered hotly.

Maggie stepped around her anyway, pulling out her handcuffs.

“I know you are,” Maggie said, as apologetic as she could be in the given situation.

“Lena, Lena,” Kara pleaded, grasping her arm before Maggie could take her away in what would likely be a PR disaster for LCorp.

Lena’s eyes were wild, panicking. Kara put a hand to her face, willing Lena to look at her for a sense of calm.

“Listen to me. I’m gonna get you out of this, okay? I’ll get Supergirl. It’s gonna be fine. Okay? I promise.”

That was the last thing she was able to say before Lena was escorted away. Oh, and Kara was going to fulfill her promise, too. Because now she was mad.

Really mad.

 

*

 

With every passing hour that Lena wasn’t yet free was another hour that Kara’s anger intensified. It got to the point that the only person at the DEO that wasn’t afraid to talk to her as she stormed around looking for solutions, was Alex.

“Hey, hey, Kara, I think you need to take a breath and calm down, okay?”

“Do not tell me to calm down,” Kara spat, hovering over Winn while he analyzed the so-called video of Lena helping her mother’s liberator, Metallo, the night before.

Winn was practically laying on top of his keyboard just so he could be as physically far away from Kara as possible as she watched him like a hawk.

“Well, you have to, because Winn is about to have a nervous breakdown if you don’t ease up a little.”

“I am not going to have a nervous breakdown,” Winn retorted, voice shaking a bit, “I just…would like it if my neck did not get snapped, that’s all.”

“She didn’t do this, Alex. You know she didn’t.”

Alex hesitated.

“Alex!” Kara yelled, staring down at her.

“Kara, what do you want me to say? I don’t know, okay? I don’t know her well enough to be as adamant about her innocence as you. I’m not…as invested as you are.”

Kara scoffed, rolling her eyes as she looked back up at the display screen.

“That has nothing to do with this. Don’t even try to suggest that I am just defending her because I want her to be innocent. I know she is. End of story.”

She felt a strong had squeeze her shoulder reassuringly. Kara turned around, and J’onn was standing behind her.

“Mind if we talk?” he asked.

Kara’s shoulders slumped, feeling the walls of rage she had built start to crumble.

“Yeah,” she said, following him away from the control center so they could talk more privately.

“How sure are you that Lena is innocent?”

“J’onn, come on. How can you even ask me that?”

He sighed, placing a gentle hand on her arm.

“I’m not disagreeing with you, yet. I just want to make sure your judgement isn’t being clouded because you have a crush on Ms. Luthor.”

Kara’s eyes practically bulged out of her head.

“What? I’m not…who told you?”

“No one, I’m psychic, Kara, you know that. It’s the same way I found out Alex was interested in that Maggie Sawyer. I just waited for her to actually tell me herself out of respect. In this case, regrettably, we don’t have time for formal courtesy.”

Kara sighed, leaning against J’onn a moment while she gathered herself.

“I know her, J’onn. She didn’t do this. I just have to prove it.”

J’onn wrapped a comforting arm around her.

“Then let Winn and I handle that part,” he said, “You just go make sure that Lena is alright.”

Kara hugged him back tightly.

“Thank you,” she said, and left to head for the prison where Lena was being detained.

She thought it would be best for Kara to see Lena as Supergirl, because Lena needed to know that Supergirl was working to fix this. The big downside to this being that she had to play the role of the rejected infatuated girl. Everything about this day was taking the wind out of her sails about the fact that Lena Luthor had almost kissed her just hours ago. Why couldn’t she just have that one win?

 

*

 

Well, Lena thought, today did not go as planned.

When you make a plan to make a move on your crush, you come to expect several predictable outcomes. She might feel the same way you do and kiss you back, that was the best case scenario. Or, she could be taken by surprise and not be sure how to react, making for a very uncomfortable fallout. Or, she could not be into you at all and everything would then blow up in your face. Those were all contingencies Lena had planned for. She did not, however, expect being carted off to jail to be one of the possible results. But, then again, she had forgotten to factor in the fact that she was a Luthor, adopted or not, and therefore, imprisonment was really always hiding somewhere in the card. It just really sucked. Like, really really sucked. Because she was 90% sure that Kara was about to kiss her back…

“Ms. Luthor?” a guard called as he stepped in front of her cell bars.

“What?” Lena barked, too tired and frustrated to entertain her usual air of femininity and grace. Not in these scratchy, likely used, prison clothes, at least.

“You have a visitor.”

“I don’t want to see anyone,” she sulked.

“Not even Supergirl?”

Lena sat up straight.

_Well, this just kept getting more complicated all the time._

The guard escorted her to a visitation room, cuffing her to the table like a common criminal. The room smelled like body odor and bleach. Such a lovely setting to see the girl you just turned down a week ago.

Supergirl came rushing into the room like a gust of wind, face flush and clearly perturbed.

“I don’t need a chaperone, thank you very much,” she scolded to the guard trying to push his way into the room. “What’s she going to do to me? Huh? You can stay right there until I’m done,” Supergirl said, slamming the door in his face.

“Those guards are jerks,” she then said, maybe more for her own sake than for Lena’s.

Lena hadn’t seen the ‘all business’ side of Supergirl in a while. She forgot how naturally she could establish herself as the most commanding presence in the room. Lena swallowed hard, feeling incredibly small.

“Looks like you misplaced your trust in me,” Lena said, eyes locked on her hands that were chained to the grimy metal table.

“Oh, come on, Lena, I know you’re innocent,” Supergirl said, waving Lena’s statement off as she sat in the chair across from her with a ‘thump’. Supergirl certainly was in a mood.

“How can you be so sure?” Lena asked defiantly.

She didn’t know why she was pushing Supergirl like this. Maybe because Lena felt safe enough with her to let her see the anger that was bubbling up in her chest, demanding to be released on everything and everyone in reach.

“Because I’m not an idiot, Lena,” Supergirl snapped. “You had no reason to help free your mother. Not after all the crap she put you through. I’m working to disprove that stupid video. I’m gonna get you out of here. Alright?”

Her eyes softened on Lena. As she locked her gaze on Lena, the way the tears filling Supergirl’s eyes made them glisten like sapphires. Lena sighed, the rage inside her dying down. Instinctively, she reached out and took one of Supergirl’s hands in hers. Supergirl exhaled heavily at her touch, as if she had been holding her breath the whole time. She ducked her head down a moment, golden curls hiding her face from Lena, while she traced small circles on Lena’s hand with her thumb.

Looking down at their entwined hands, the realization hit Lena like a train. She gasped, yanking her hand away from the girl sitting across from her.

“Kara,” she whispered.

Supergirl’s head whipped up to look at Lena, eyes bulging.

“Uh,” she stumbled, “yeah. Kara Danvers asked me come here.”

“No, no no no. You. Are Kara,” she didn’t even believe the words coming out of her own mouth, but they became truer and truer to her by the second as she looked at a face that suddenly was far more familiar than before.

Supergirl’s mouth moved as if she tried to speak, but no words came out.

“Kara!” Lena accused, more loudly this time. Kara gripped her Lena’s hands again, this time as a warning.

“Just shush,” she hissed, eyes indicating to the door that the guard stood behind.

“I can’t believe it,” Lena said, leaning back into her chair, completely floored. “I am such an idiot! How did I not…how did I never…you don’t even hide it that well!”

Kara scoffed.

“Yes I do! Well, I mean, I would, if it were true. It’s not true. I am not…”

“Oh, cut it out,” Lena spat, now becoming more and more irritated that Kara wouldn’t just drop the act, even if it was because she was afraid of the guard finding out.

Still, she forced herself to ease from her assault on Kara, settling for giving her a general look of shocked disbelief as she stared at her face, her hair, her suit, her hands. How stupid was she? How did she not _notice_ until now? Supergirl even smells like Kara’s perfume!

“How did you know?” Kara whispered, leaning in only as close towards Lena as was absolutely necessary in order to whisper. She reminded Lena of a wild animal backed into a corner, looking for an escape.

“That thing you do with your thumb when you hold my hand,” Lena replied, cheeks warming.

Kara’s eyes widened in realization.

“Oh,” she said, voice monotone.

“K…I mean, Supergirl…” Lena began, with absolutely no idea how she was going to finish that sentence.

What was the standard acceptable response for finding out someone you care about is a superhero? What about for realizing that the two different women you were in love with were actually the same person the whole time? She was drawing a blank.

“Lena,” Kara began, before trailing off.

Well, at least she wasn’t the only one at a loss for words. However, Kara was more on the side of ‘distraught’, which became apparent as she dropped her head onto the table, hair once again covering her face. Overwhelmed with sympathy for her suddenly far more complicated Kara Danvers, Lena couldn’t help but reach out to stroke her golden hair soothingly.

Once again, as she tried to figure out how to proceed from here, Lena forgot about the ‘Luthor card’ hiding somewhere in the deck. That was, until, she door to the visitation room exploded open with green light, sending Kara flying across the room and hitting the wall with a sickening crack. Lena screamed out to her, and then felt something hard come down on her head, and everything went dark.

 

*

 

Kara woke in the middle of the rubble of what was the visitation room. Head spinning from leftover kryptonite poisoning, she tried to will the room to stop moving so she could find Lena, even though, really, she already knew she was gone.

“Where did they go?” she called into her comm.

“Supergirl,” J’onn answered, “are you okay?”

“Where. Are. They?” she demanded.

“The signature of the artificial kryptonite tells us they’re fifteen miles south of you in an abandoned facility. But Supergirl…”

She was already forcing body into flight, not caring if she could handle whatever she was getting into or not.

When she found the facility, she was too groggy to care about a stealthy entrance, and essentially barreled herself into Metallo like a Kryptonian battering ram. They both went flying into the far wall of the facility, cement chunks flying everywhere. She heard Lena’s voice call out to her, and then her head was screaming from some sonic device screeching through every cell in her body.

“I wondered when you would get here, Supergirl,” Lillian said, moving to stand over Kara as she writhed in pain.

“I don’t often condone foul language, Lillian. But you…are an asshole.”

Lillian barely had time to laugh before J’onn appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and took her down. He somehow managed to knock Metallo out, too, she wasn’t sure how, her whole body still screamed in pain from a now disable sonic device and kryptonite poisoning.

“Supergirl, you have to get Lena out of here before the device on Metallo blows,” J’onn said, voice pulling her out of her fog.

You didn’t have to tell her twice to get Lena and get the hell away from a kryptonite bomb. Barely able to see straight, she scooped what she hoped was Lena into her grasp and took off as fast as her body could carry her. Lena clutched onto Kara. Yeah, that was her. Kara flew and flew, feeling pushed by the force of the explosion like it was a strong gust of wind. She relied on instinct to take her somewhere safe, as her mind was all but shut down at the moment.

Somehow, miraculously, she felt ground beneath her, placing Lena gingerly on a springy grass before collapsing face first into the dirt. Memories started rushing back to her, memories she didn’t want and couldn’t handle. Lena’s apartment in flames as she lay unconscious on the floor. Kara being pummeled deeper and deeper into the depths of the bay from a bomb explosion. Every time she failed, every fight she lost, all piling onto her like weights on her back, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Tears stung her eyes. Her chest heaved, trying desperately to take in enough air to make her head stop spinning. Lena was hovering over her now, though Kara could hardly feel her there.

“Supergirl? Supergirl. Kara?”

Kara’s mind grasped onto Lena’s voice, letting it pull her slowly back out of the dark hole she had fallen into. Lena’s voice grew softer yet more desperate with each call out her. Kara’s breath slowing to normal, she rolled over to look up at the night sky that was here and real and now, reaching a hand out to Lena to indicate that she was okay. Lena grasped it instantly, sitting down next to her.

“Where are we?” she asked Lena.

“You don’t know?” Lena asked in reply. Kara just now noticed that she was still in prison scrubs.

“Nope,” she said, still looking up, “I kind of went on auto-pilot there.”

“Huh, here I thought you were trying to be romantic.”

Confused, Kara forced herself to sit up, healing more slowly than if it had been daylight. Still, she already felt her strength returning. She looked out on a familiar view of National City, from a hilltop far beyond it.

“Oh,” Kara said, realizing that this was where she had taken Lena that night, when, if she was being honest with herself, she first realized she loved her.

“Oh,” Lena repeated with a more knowing tone.

The two women sat next to each other for a little while, Kara with her legs straightened in front of her, Lena putting her weight on her left arm, leaning in to Kara slightly, with her legs tucked behind her.

“Are you okay?” Kara asked suddenly, turning to Lena, feeling foolish for not even thinking to check on her until now. She started looking over her like a mother cat over a kitten, not even caring if it made either of them look or feel ridiculous.

“Kara, I’m fine,” Lena replied.

Kara couldn’t help but flinch at hearing her real name from Lena’s lips while she was dressed as Supergirl. She recoiled from Lena inadvertently, realizing the implications of a Luthor knowing the identity of a Super.

“Are _you_ okay?” Lena asked her, eyes searching her face.

Kara nodded, suddenly shy under Lena’s gaze.

Lena took a long breath.

“Good,” she said, and pulled Kara into her.

Their lips met in that shocking new way they had the first time, and Kara froze, instinctually waiting for Lena to pull away like she had the first time, for all of it to be ripped away from her again. But she didn’t.

Kara had to take a minute to get her bearings, here. She didn’t even have any warning so that she could fully prepare to be kissed by Lena freaking Luthor. She had so many different daydreams of how this was going to go, and now she was literally kissing Lena Luthor in real life, and she felt like she was doing it wrong.

Lena pulled away from her, giving her a quizzical look.

“Kara? Is this okay?”

There it was, the thing she needed to see to make it real. Lena’s dazzling green eyes, sparkling at her with more depth and affection than she could even think possible. She stared at her, breathless, watching a small smile creep onto Lena’s mouth. Now, it was right.

Tangling her hand into Lena’s impossibly soft dark hair, she pulled Lena back into her, giving her the proper kiss she had built up in her head. Lena softened instantly, a hand grasping onto Kara’s hip for stability. Kara pulled herself in as close to Lena as she dared without physically climbing into her lap, which she did consider, but didn’t want to rush things just yet. She had never kissed lips so soft in her entire life, and Kara felt her head spinning from the pure bliss of it. Lena parted her lips first, inviting Kara to deepen the kiss. Lena felt so different from any other kiss he had had before that Kara felt like she was learning how to do this for the first time all over again.

Gently, she let her tongue explore Lena’s mouth. Lena’s reaction was to push suddenly, hungrily, against Kara, chests pressed together, hands digging in to Kara’s scalp. Kara moaned, willing to let go of herself right there and then. But again, it didn’t feel right to her. She softened her kiss again, hand pressing against Lena’s back, and after a few second she pulled away from the kiss, letting her forehead rest against Lena’s. They both took a moment to catch their breath, hands tangled in each other’s hair. Kara didn’t think she would mind if she stayed like that for the rest of her life.

The comm crackled in Kara’s ear, startling the both of them away from each other.

“Uh, Supergirl?” Winn called in to the ear piece. “You, um, you guys made it out of the explosion, right?”

Kara was breathing heavily, trying to bring herself back to reality.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” she mumbled.

“Supergirl!” Alex barked into the earpiece. Uh oh, Kara thought. “You do not go dark after an artificial kryptonite bomb explodes! I thought you died!”

“Alex,” Kara soothed, still too giddy to feel that bad about it, “I’m good. Everything is cool. Cool?”

“Cool?” Alex mocked angrily.

“Uh, yeah?”

Lena was chuckling at her as she struggled to form words.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?” Kara continued, trying not to laugh herself. She hadn’t felt this bubbly since she got drunk at the alien bar. “Everything is fine, day saved. Yippee. Bye, now, guys.”

“Wait, Kara, you still have to let Lena get properly signed out of the prison…” Winn began, before she switched her comm off.

Lena was fully laughing at her now.

“There’s not much privacy to being a superhero, is there?” Lena asked.

“No,” Kara lamented, “No, there is not.” She got up off the ground, dusting herself off, and then helped Lena to her feet. “I, uh, guess I better get you back so people don’t think you’re some criminal on the run or something.”

Lena smiled wide at her, giving Kara a look that made her suddenly shy.

“Well, good thing I have both Supergirl and respected reporter Kara Danvers to defend my good name, don’t I?” She looked Kara up and down for a moment. “God, I can’t believe I never saw it. I am such an idiot.”

“Stop calling yourself that,” Kara said, playfully pulling Lena close to her again.

She couldn’t help herself. This just felt so _good_.  

Kara pushed herself in to Lena in for another brief kiss. She forced herself to ignore the demanding pull in her stomach that yearned for her to go further. She had to get Lena back before Alex or Maggie, or both of them, killed her.

“Um,” Kara said, struggling to catch her breath, “We really gotta go.”

“Do we really?” Lena whispered, biting her lip.

A shiver shot down Kara’s spine.

“You’re killing me right now,” she said.

“Well, that is the family business, isn’t it?” Lena replied. Kara frowned at her. “Oh, I’m kidding, Kara,” she said, kissing the frown off of her lips. “Okay, now we can go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY DID THE THING. :D !! And I just effin turned those action scenes into the most concentrated version of themselves that they could be, didn't I? Eh, you guys were there, you know what happened. I was too focused on FLUFF FOR ONCE. FINALLY!!!! THOSE IDIOTS FIGURED IT OUT!!! 
> 
> This story actually looks like it's gonna wrap up soon, doesn't it? I have some stray stuff hanging around I have to pull together, I have to actually make myself write something resembling smut (I'm so bad at it. this is gonna be a rough week...), but other than that...yeah...(is it bad that i'm kind of already half absorbed in a new supercorp project? *cough* I have a problem *COUGH*) 
> 
> Alright, I literally have to move out of my apartment tomorrow, so I'd love to come back to some comments to reply to in here when I settle into my new place :) Love ya guys for being your awesome supportive selves, see you soon ;)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I gotta apologize in the notes for my brevity

After a ridiculous amount of paperwork at the police station, Lena was free to go. With as much subtlety as she could muster, Lena had asked Kara if she wanted to accompany her back to her apartment. “Just to be safe,” she said, eyes blinking lazily at her, full of devilish promise. And as much as Kara really wanted to throw Lena over her shoulder and race to her apartment as fast as she could manage, she made herself say no. One, because she felt like rushing into anything physical with Lena would be a mistake. She wanted to let things settle down to something resembling normal to see how they both felt before letting adrenaline rush them both into something they might not be ready for. And two, because Kara was barely able to keep her eyes open as she stood outside the station waiting for Lena’s car to arrive. Between Lena being imprisoned, Kara accidentally revealing her identity to Lena, being knocked unconscious, almost dying from a kryptonite explosion while trying to save Lena, the resulting panic attack from almost dying, and then making out with the girl she was falling for, Kara was utterly exhausted. And if she was going to be able to kiss Lena again, or possibly more than that, she wanted to be awake enough to remember every second of it.

Lena had pouted silently in a small, secluded hallway of the precinct when Supergirl told her she didn’t think it was a good idea for her to come over. She actually pouted. And, if Kara was being honest, it was almost adorable enough to make Kara change her mind. But, she stuck to her guns.

When Lena’s car pulled up, Kara’s stomach dropped. She had to say goodbye to Lena, and she didn’t want to. Not ever. She was overcome with the urge to pull Lena into a kiss, but by the way Lena’s eyes widened at her when she stepped in closer, Kara knew to pull away. Silently, she searched Lena’s face, wondering why she had hesitated. Sudden burst of flashing lights to her left reminded her why. With press and photographers barely contained on the other side of the sidewalk from the station, Supergirl had almost kissed Lena Luthor. Personally, Kara didn’t mind if anyone found out that Supergirl was attracted to girls. She could just beat up anyone who gave her a hard time about it. But in Lena’s case, with Lillian Luthor now escaped from prison and on the run, she could understand why she wouldn’t want the world to see her kissing Supergirl. She knew Lena was right to be cautious, but it still hurt.

Lena’s eyes seemed to plead with Kara, silently asking for forgiveness. Kara forced a smile.

“We’ll find your mother soon, Ms. Luthor, I promise.”

Lena smiled back at her.

“Thank you, Supergirl,” Lena said, standing stiffly, hands clasped in front of her.

Kara really hated that she couldn’t just hug Lena at that moment. Or kiss her. Instead, she held out her hand. Looking down at her outstretched hand, Lena barked out a laugh, as frustrated as Kara was with the situation. Lena shook Kara’s outstretched hand, shaking her head slightly. Cameras flashed across the sidewalk. Kara squeezed Lena’s hand reassuringly before letting go. A security guard from LCorp stepped out of the car, and opened the door for Lena to step in.

“You trust these guys, right?” Kara asked. “I don’t want anyone abducting you again.”

“There’s only one person I trust more than my own security team, and that’s you,” Lena said with a smile, before letting her face fall. “Supergirl,” she said, eyes unreadable. “We need to talk soon.”

“Oh. Uh. Okay?” Kara replied.

Before she could even think to ask what that meant, Lena’s driver was pulling away.

_What did she need to talk about?_ Kara’s heart sank. _Is she having second thoughts about me?_

Kara started to think of a million possible bad things that Lena could possibly have to say to Kara that she couldn’t say in public. Most of Kara’s theories had something to do with Lena telling them they couldn’t be together, and the dread in her chest became nearly unbearable.

Someone cleared there throat behind her, pulling her out of her somber train of thought.

“Hey,” Maggie said, standing next to her. “I’m uh, sorry about all of this. Are we good?”

Kara wanted to be upset with Maggie for hauling Lena away to jail earlier in the day, which inadvertently led to both Lena and Kara nearly dying. But she knew that this was Lillian’s fault and not Maggie’s. Maggie was just doing her job.

“Yeah. We’re good,” Kara replied. If it were another day, and another situation, she would have smiled to let Maggie know that she was sincere in her forgiveness, but she was too confused, and too tired. Maggie watched closely as Kara watched Lena’s car round the corner.

“Everything okay with you and Lena?” she asked Kara.

“Yeah, fine,” she replied blankly. “I’ll um, I’ll see you later, okay?” She lifted off the ground to fly home. “Tell Alex I said ‘hi’.”

Kara slept uneasily that night, unsure of what the future held for her and Lena.

 

*

 

The next morning, Kara took her good time getting to CatCo, not looking forward to hearing Lena’s name on everyone’s lips as they rushed to put out the best coverage of the continued Luthor family drama. _‘We need to talk soon.’_ That never meant anything good. She remembered the conversation she had had with Lena when she was at the DEO after Lex had attacked her apartment. Kara remembered how Lena had shut Supergirl out of her life because she was scared. Was she preparing to do that again? Was she going to run every time things got hard? The second that Lena had kissed her, Kara knew she would be willing to put everything aside for Lena if that’s what she had to do to keep her. But maybe Lena wasn’t willing to do the same, and the thought of that crushed her.

As she walked towards her office, fully willing to hide in there until Snapper sniffed her out and gave her some crappy story to work on, she nearly ran into a delivery guy. And then another. And another. A total of five delivery men were filing out of her office. _Her_ office.

“What the…” Kara asked out loud, as she entered what had formerly been her office.

It was now, apparently, a flower shop. There were flowers everywhere. Every inch of her office was covered in roses, lilies, daisies, plumerias (she remembered those from Lena’s office, and she remembered how hard Lena had told her they were to get), and every other flower she could think of. In the middle of her desk was a large, red card. Kara picked it up slowly, a smile already spreading on her lips. In large, flawless calligraphy, the card read:

_“For my hero_

_Meet me at my office at your earliest convenience._

_-L”_

               Kara giggled to herself, dozens of different floral scents flooding her senses. The only question she had in her mind now was how soon she should let herself race to Lena’s office. She paced back and forth in the small space left in the office for her to pace in.

Well, she certainly couldn’t get any work done like this. She may as well just…work outside the office for the day…

               And she would start her work day by making a trip to L Corp.

(Kara all but ran to the elevator)

 

When she got to LCorp, Jess quirked an eyebrow at her, smirking.

“Well, you got here a whole fifteen minutes earlier than I thought you would, Miss Danvers,” she said, “You must really like her.”

Kara’s eyes widened.

“Oh, w-what do you…” she stammered.

“I’m not blind, Kara,” Jess replied. “Also, she finds a way to bring you up in almost every conversation we have. It’s honestly getting out of hand.”

Kara blushed, ducking her head to hide the fact that she was smiling like an idiot. Jess ushered for Kara to let herself in, and she was thankful to escape Jess’s smug knowing look. When she entered the office, Lena was lounging her couch, hair sitting loosely around her shoulders, though she usually had it up at work, wearing an A-line emerald skirt and a dangerously low cut white blouse, with a small smile on her face. Kara understood in that moment how some women could unhinge the world with their beauty, like Cleopatra or Helen of Troy. Breathless, she thought that there had to be a slight chance that Lena had planned to look this way when Kara entered.

“Hello, Kara,” Lena said, her tone suggesting that she was totally aloof about Kara being there, but her growing smile gave her away. “Little early for a social call, don’t you think?”

Kara only slightly wanted to crawl on top of Lena on that couch right there and then.

“Well, I couldn’t really get any work done anyway on account of my office overflowing with flowers.”

Lena tilted her head, smirking.

“I wonder how those got there?” she asked.

Kara took a long, heavy breath. It was amazing how difficult it was for her to keep control of herself around Lena. She was just…overwhelming. And standing there now, Kara was confused and unsure of how to act, considering that Lena had a habit of drastically changing her behavior towards Kara with a snap of her fingers. She felt the stupor she had fallen into since she walked into her office that morning wearing off, she felt herself sobering up as she looked down at Lena, knowing that she had to tread more carefully with Lena than she wanted to.

“Are large romantic gestures something that I should expect to become accustomed to?” Kara asked, looking at her feet and fidgeting with her glasses.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t,” Lena said, gesturing for Kara to sit next to her on the couch. “Especially considering that I will always feel the need to bring my A game just to keep up with someone like Supergirl. But I consider those to be an apology more than anything.

Kara shrugged, sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch, hands folded in her lap, giving Lena as much space as she could.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” she said.

“Kara,” Lena insisted softly, placing a hand on Kara’s knee.

Kara’s chest shuddered out a breath at her touch. Like an actor stepping off the stage, Lena’s charade of careless seduction fell away suddenly, and she sat forward to close the space between them Kara had established.

“I think that I have plenty to apologize for,” Lena continued. “But for starters, I’ll apologize for brushing you off last night.”

“Lena, Lillian is out there somewhere, you can’t be seen being…affectionate with Supergirl. It will only make things more dangerous for you. And I know that. So don’t think that I’m upset with you for doing the logical thing, trust me.”

“I don’t want to be logical, Kara. I don’t want to have to keep making every decision based off of what is safe or whatever might give me the tactical advantage. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of being a Luthor.”

“But you aren’t a Luthor!” Kara said, clutching the hand that was still rested on her knee. “You’re better than them.”

Lena scoffed, face falling.

“Yeah, about that” she said, turning rigid, “It turns out I’m not any different from them at all.”

“What do you mean?” Kara asked.

“My mother did me the loving courtesy of filling me in on an important tidbit last night. She only did so because she thought it would benefit her in some way, obviously, but regardless, she told me that I am, genetically, a Luthor. I, of course, doubted her, so I stayed up all night trying to prove her wrong. But,” she said, voice shaking. “I found out that she was right. I’m not adopted. I’m Luthor through and through.”

Kara took a long breath, thinking.

“So what?” she finally said, lifting her head to look Lena in the eye. Lena blinked several times.

“What?” she asked.

“You heard me,” Kara said, “It doesn’t matter. If it ever could have mattered, I would never have fallen for you, would I?” She squeezed Lena’s hand. “And I have, just so you know. It’s probably silly to say that so soon, but I don’t care. So…” she laughed to herself, in disbelief of how easily she was gushing all of her feelings to Lena. “You can stop thinking you have to ‘keep up’ with Supergirl, because you are…already more than she could have ever expected or thought to want for herself.”  

Lena stared at her a moment, mouth agape.

“Is there anyone on this floor besides us and Jess?” she said after a moment.

Kara listened for footsteps or heartbeats around them.

“No,” she said, wondering why Lena had asked her that.

“Good,” Lena said, and pressed into Kara for a desperate kiss.

_Thank Rao_ , Kara thought, dragging a hand through Lena’s hair and pulling her closer.

Like the night before, Kara found herself getting lost in Lena faster than she could comprehend. In the smell of her perfume, the strands of dark hair she gripped between her fingers, the firm grasp of Lena’s soft hands on Kara’s hip, the way that their tongues danced around each other, the way that Lena playfully bit Kara’s lip, the way her fingers traced their way down from Kara’s hips to the button of her pants…

“Oh God,” Kara exclaimed, pulling away from Lena slightly so that she could catch her breath.

“Are you okay?” Lena asked, searching Kara’s eyes, hovering above her, close enough that she was all that Kara could comprehend.

“Yeah,” Kara breathed, feeling suddenly self-conscious. “I just…this is all kind of new for me. I, um, I’ve never been with a girl.”

Lena pulled herself off of Kara, giving her the space she needed to calm the burning need that was all through her body and mind.

“Oh my god, no, you’re fine, Kara. I’m sorry. I kind of got…carried away there.”

“I mean, I’m not complaining,” Kara said, laughing despite herself. “I just think…that right now…”

“Now is not the right time, you’re totally right. I mean,” Lena laughed, gesturing past Kara, “I have glass walls, for goodness sake.”

“I mean, they do look cool,” Kara chuckled, noticing a little late that poor Jess was outside the office, chair turned completely away from the doorway so she wouldn’t have to see anything. “What about you, have you ever, um…”

Lena sighed.

“I tried my best not to. Especially considering how my family feels about…well, things differ from what they consider to be the norm. But there were a few occasions when I didn’t try to stop myself. Maybe it was just my own form of rebellion, just letting myself want who I wanted. Anyhow, eventually I got caught by Lex. He didn’t tell our parents…but…he’s been holding it against me ever since, and he has masked his blackmailing me as ‘compassionate concern’.”

Lena laughed darkly, and Kara could see her burying her pain deeper with each breath.

“I’m sorry, Lena,” Kara said earnestly, turning to sit cross legged across from Lena on the couch.

Lena shook her head, blinking away the threat of tears in her eyes, forcing herself to smile when she didn’t need to, not for Kara’s sake, anyway.

“It’s alright,” she said, taking a deep breath. “I don’t care what they think, not anymore. In or out of prison, I’m not afraid of my family, or what they believe, anymore. And why should I be? I have a superhero girlfriend now to protect me.”

Kara blinked, taken aback.

“Oh, wait,” Lena said, eyes widening. “Oh my god. I take that back. I assumed too much. I didn’t even ask if…”

“No, no,” Kara said, taking Lena’s hand in her own again, “Don’t take it back.” She smiled at Lena genuinely. “I just had to get used to the sound of it.”

“Does that…sound good to you?”

“Well,” Kara said, her voice teasing, “Technically, I mean, you assistant already saw you making out with Kara Danvers on your couch. And if you ended up being Supergirl’s girlfriend, well, that would just raise too many questions, wouldn’t it? So, it seems, Miss Luthor, that you are just stuck being the girlfriend of plain old Kara Danvers.”

“How dreadful,” Lena joked, leaning slowly in to Kara. “You know that also means that Supergirl will just have to stop sweeping me off my feet and flying me around to romantic views of National City, right?”

Kara gasped dramatically.

“Well, I will convey the message to her, but I doubt she’ll like it.”

“She will just have to,” Lena said, voice low and rich as her lips hovered over Kara’s, “because I am a claimed woman.”

Lena kissed her again, and Kara wondered at how hollow her life had felt before this moment.

Kara’s cell phone beeped urgently, pulling her out of the languid enjoyment of being overcome by Lena. Groaning, she pulled it out of her pocket.

NEW TEXT FROM: JERK FACE BOSS:

_Do you plan on doing any real work today, or did you get lost in your poppy field, Dorothy?_

Kara practically growled at her phone.

“I gotta go,” she said, regretfully sliding off of Lena’s couch. “We should, um, continue this later, yeah?”

“Obviously,” Lena said breathlessly. “But don’t you think we should actually go on an actual date first? Like normal people?”

Kara smirked as she opened the door to exit Lena’s office.

“I suppose we should.” She winked at her before she left.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS SUCH A SHORT CHAPTER I'M SO SORRY!! especially considering that y'all deserve more after that GARBAGE that happened Monday (I'm so salty about it i can't even talk about it yet)  
>  I moved out of my apt and into my first house this week and I REALLY UNDERESTIMATED HOW HARD THAT IS TO DO otherwise i would have gotten to the long promised smut this week. I'm adulting too much and it sucks. Anyhow, I had to get at least something out for this week, but I have a feeling that next week for sure is going to be the last chapter. WHICH IS SUPER SAD but I already have an AU project I'm gonna start putting out right after this ends and I'm PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT IT so if you guys need something new to read after there will at least be that :D   
> You guys continue to be just awesome and your comments make my day whenever i see them. Love you and see you soon ;)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are first dates and happy endings (literally)...  
> (Ps I haven't watched the 2/27 ep yet so this is spoiler free and I don't even wanna know about it yet, honestly)

Kara slammed onto the ground, hard, electricity coursing through her like fire in her veins. Livewire had popped up in National City, yet again. And as much as Kara respected the hero/nemesis relationship that they had going, she just didn’t feel 100% into this fight right now. She had more important things to do.

“Oh, come on, Supergirl,” Livewire said, taunting. “I feel like I’m fighting myself over here. You’ve gotta challenge me at least a little bit, or it’s just no fun.”

Kara jumped to her feet, flying headfirst into Livewire and sending her rocketing against the far wall of the abandoned warehouse. Why was it always an abandoned warehouse?

“Sorry,” Kara said, pushing off of Leslie and into her fight-ready stance, feet apart, fists up. “I kind of have a date later, and I’d rather be getting ready than fighting you right now.”

“Well, shit,” Livewire said, wiping a bit of blood off her lip, “who has the honor of banging Supergirl, huh? It’s not that frat boy, is it?”

“Who, Mon-El?” Supergirl asked, tumbling out of the way of a bolt of electricity Leslie had tried to shoot into her. “God, no.” She then used her powerful breath to blow Livewire off her feet long enough to get back on her own.

“Oh, good,” Livewire replied, coughing as she recovered from the wind being knocked out of her lungs. “I hate that guy. I tell you what, maybe we call it a tie for tonight, and pick this back up after you’ve gotten your jollies in?”

“Are you serious?” Supergirl asked in disbelief.

“Why not?” Leslie said, standing, “I’m not totally heartless, Lady Steel. Besides, maybe if you work out some pent up sexual frustration, you’ll be able to take that stick out of your ass long enough to let me have a little fun, huh?”

Kara bit her lip, considering Livewire’s offer.

“You know if this is a trick I’ll come at you with everything I’ve got, right?”

Livewire shrugged. “Wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“And you know if you try to pull any kind of schemes off tonight I’ll be even angrier at you for ruining my night?”

“I wouldn’t blame you.”

“So…” Supergirl said, shaking her head in disbelief of what she was about to say. “Okay…truce, then?”

“Just this one time, Supergirl.”

And with that, Livewire disappeared into the powerlines of the warehouse.

_“Supergirl,”_ J’onn chided into her earpiece. _“What exactly just happened?”_

“What?” Kara replied, “If she tries anything, you’ll let me know, right?

J’onn sighed loudly. _“You know that I’m happy for you and Alex, but I would also like to point out that my job was a lot easier when you were both single.”_

“Noted,” Kara said, and took off to fly towards her apartment, hoping she would be ready for her date with Lena in time.

She had no idea what to expect tonight. All that Lena had said was “I’ll pick you up at six. Wear something nice.” And Kara, admittedly, was nervous. Like, really nervous. And she didn’t know why. Because, they were practically already girlfriends. They had already made out. Several times. Kara had even called Lena her girlfriend, to Lena herself. So that took away the two main things Kara usually stressed out about on first dates: “Are we going to kiss?” and “Is this going to go anywhere?” So she had to guess that the thing that was making her nervous was that this was her first date with a girl, right? This was new territory for her. And when she had asked Alex what to expect, she had simply said, “Well, it’s really different. But…also really similar. Does that make sense?”

It didn’t. And despite the fact that she knew how she felt about Lena and she was pretty sure she knew how Lena felt about her, she couldn’t help but worry that she would find a way to do something wrong and ruin everything. And the more she started thinking about what might happen on their date as she curled her hair and did her makeup, the more she started to freak out.

Fingers beginning to tingle and shake, she called her sister.

_“Kara?”_ Alex asked over the phone, breathing heavily. _“Hey, um, no offense, but this is kind of a bad time.”_

“What are you…” Kara began, and then heard a female voice giggling in the background. “Oh. _Oh_. You’re with Maggie. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

_“It’s, uh, it’s fine. Are you okay?”_

“Yeah, no. I’m good. Everything is good. Don’t, um, don’t worry about me.”

_“Kara,”_ Alex insisted, _“What’s going on?”_

“It’s nothing. I just…I’m going out with Lena tonight, and I’m kind of freaking out.”

_“Oh, crap, that is tonight, isn’t it?”_ More giggling in the background. _“Babe,”_ Alex said to Maggie, though Kara could still hear her, _“Kara is going on a date with Lena tonight.”_

Kara heard Maggie shout _“Woo! Finally!”_ and couldn’t help but chuckle.

_“Well, what are you freaking out about, then?”_ Alex asked.

“I don’t know, Alex! Everything! I just,” Kara forced herself to breathe, slow and long, while she forced her static thoughts to organize themselves into something coherent. “Red dress or blue?”

_“Well, blue is your color. But I’d switch it up with red for tonight,”_ Alex said, voice patient. _“What else?”_

“Um, what do I do if…Well, um, I mean…if we were to…ah, you know, if we wanted to…”

Alex chuckled into the phone.

_“Just take your time, Kara. You don’t have to rush into anything tonight, unless you really want to, I guess. But just have fun, you know? It’s supposed to be fun, not stressful. Okay?”_

Kara sighed, calming slowly. She knew she was freaking herself out. She knew that when she was with Lena, she tended to act out on her desires as if it were second nature.

“You’re right. You’re right. I’m just psyching myself out.”

Kara heard a knock at the door.

“Oh, Rao, I’m gonna throw up,” she squeaked.

_“Kara, just breathe. It’s gonna be fine. You know you want this to happen, and so does Lena. You just need to get out of your own head, okay?”_

Kara barked out a laugh.

“Easier said than done. Okay, I gotta go.”

She hung up before letting Alex say goodbye, used her super speed to get out of her sweatpants and into the red dress in a matter of seconds, and, adjusting slightly windblown hair, walked quickly to the door to let Lena in.

Well, it was a good thing she wore red. Kara used her x-ray vision to look through the door to make sure it was, in fact, Lena on the other side. When she did, she saw that Lena was wearing a skin-tight royal blue dress with a sinfully low neckline, hair down, with a single string of pearls around her neck. Kara gulped. She didn’t know how she was going to survive the night with Lena looking like _that_. Kara took a breath, and opened her door just as Lena was about to knock a second time.

“Lena,” she breathed, “You look, um.” Kara struggled to form words, tugging at her glasses nervously. “You look amazing,” she finally managed to say.

Lena’s eyes raked over Kara, a wicked smile forming on her lips.

“You…” she said slowly, “are one to talk, Kara Danvers.”

Lena took a step into Kara’s apartment, fingers lightly grazing Kara’s waist as she passed her. Kara inhaled sharply.

“I have missed being in this apartment,” Lena said. “As brief as it was, I really felt like home here.”

“Well,” Kara said, closing the door behind her. “What about your new apartment?”

Lena shrugged, stepping in to close the distance between herself and Kara.

“There’s nothing there that I care about,” Lena murmured, her left hand reaching up to bury her fingers in Kara’s hair, grasping her neck as she pulled Kara into her. Lena kissed her softly, likely aware that it was a bit early in the night for either for them to mess up their lipstick.

“Shall we go?” she whispered into Kara’s lips.

_We could just stay here…_ Kara thought, wondering how she had ever thought things would be uncomfortable or awkward between them tonight. But she kept that thought to herself, and nodded silently instead. Lena stepped away, and Kara could breathe again.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“You know,” Lena said, “I just want you to know that it is incredibly difficult to come up with a date idea that would impress someone from another planet.”

“Lena,” Kara soothed, “I don’t care where we go or what we do. As long as…”

“Yes, I know,” Lena interrupted. “But I still have to try. So, after a lot of brainstorming, and a lot of dead end ideas, I figured I would just take us on what I thought would be an impressive first date. And, if it ends up falling short, then you can plan the next one. Now, the car is waiting downstairs. Are you ready to go, Miss Danvers?”

Lena held out her forearm for Kara to hold on to.

Kara shook her head, chuckling to herself.

“You are too much, Lena Luthor.”

When they exited the apartment building, a limo was waiting for them at the entrance.

“Are you serious?” Kara whispered into Lena’s ear.

She was taking any chance she could get to be as close to Lena as possible. Why shouldn’t she?

“What?” Lena said innocently, mouth hovering dangerously close to Kara’s. “It’s the company limo. If I don’t find reasons to use it, it just sits in a parking garage collecting dust.”

“So using the company limo is standard procedure for first dates with Lena Luthor?”

“Psh,” Lena replied, creating space between them once again so she could open the door for Kara. “Standard procedure is getting set up by my family with wealthy bachelors that could be of some use to them, and pretending to not want to throw up the whole evening.”

Kara gave her a concerned look as she went to step into the car.

“Oh, don’t look at me like I’m something to feel sorry for, Kara, that’s all in the past,” Lena said, and slid in to the limo after her, sitting as close to Kara as was physically possible despite the large selection of seating available in the vehicle.

Kara blushed, baffled by how forward Lena was with her now, when only a few weeks ago she had all but ran away when Supergirl first kissed her. Now, as she leaned over Kara’s lap to pull a bottle of champagne and two glasses out of a small fridge next to them, Kara felt like she was with a totally different woman.

 

*

 

Lena couldn’t keep away from Kara. She couldn’t help it. She felt so giddy. It was like all of those years of butterflies and flirting and affection and lust that she had denied herself for so many years were exploding beneath her skin all at once, demanding they finally be acknowledged, and satisfied.

And there was Kara Danvers, tugging nervously at the hem of her tight red dress that looked so damn good on her that it made Lena dizzy. And her blonde hair was like silk and smelled like cherry blossoms, the curls framing her face and neck like a plea for Lena to get lost beneath them so she could kiss and suck on Kara’s neck until she heard her moan.

And everything about Kara was soft; her hands, her skin, her lips, and the look in her impossibly blue eyes that looked shyly up at her beneath long lashes. And Lena felt like Kara had her own gravity, and Lena was being helplessly pulled into it, unable to escape. Not that she would want to even if she could. Lena didn’t know why they should ever even leave this limo because if they didn’t she could stay here, pressed against Kara, hand on her thigh, goosebumps forming where Kara’s breath fell on Lena’s neck, the champagne creeping into her head like fog. Kara pressed her lips in to Lena’s softly, careful not to smear the lipstick off either of their lips. Lena let her hand move slightly higher up Kara’s thigh. Kara gasped.

_There was absolutely need to leave this limo…_

She heard someone clear their throat. The driver had lowered the window to the back of the limo.

“We’ve arrived, Ms. Luthor.”

Lena sighed. She had promised herself she was going to give Kara an amazing first date. And that meant, regrettably, leaving the privacy of the car.

“We’ll resume this later,” Kara said, cheeks flushed, her smile full of promises.

This girl was going to be the death of her.

Lena was nervous about how her date idea would be received. She hated to admit that she didn’t really know that much about Kara. Well, besides the basics, that she was an aspiring journalist, fierce feminist, and oh yeah, she was alien from another planet. So even if Lena thought she knew enough about Kara Danvers to get through a first date, she knew next to nothing about Supergirl. And that intimidated the hell out of her. So, she settled on planning a date that she thought would impress herself.

“Are we going to see a show?” Kara asked, as she stepped out of the car, looking up at the bright shining lights of the Palace Theater.

“An opera, actually” Lena said, watching Kara’s face intently to gauge her reaction to the surprise. “They’re performing The Marriage of Figaro. I used to love this show as a child because it was a lot of physical comedy, so I didn’t have to worry about the fact that I had no idea what was going on in the plot.”

Kara’s mouth parted open, silent, taking in her surroundings.

“Is this okay?” Lena asked, nervous that Kara would tell her she hated operas. That they were boring. That Lena’s idea of fun was stuffy and pretentious…

“Are you kidding?” Kara exclaimed. “It’s fantastic! This is like, the classiest thing I have ever been to.”

Hopping briefly with excitement, Kara grabbed onto Lena’s arm again, allowing her to lead the way into the theater. When they were escorted to the seats in their private box (Lena had only had to pull a handful of strings to get their own box seats at the last minute) Kara started hopping again.

“Oh my God! I always wanted to sit in one of these! This is so cool! Ooh! Do we get those fancy binoculars?”

Lena laughed heartily.

“What?” Kara asked.

“Nothing. You are just very cute.”

Kara scrunched her nose, feigning offense at Lena. When Lena did, in fact, produce a pair of opera glasses for Kara to use, all was forgiven.

In the middle of Kara playing with her opera glasses, she suddenly stopped to grasp Lena’s hand tightly, and leaned in to touch her forehead against Lena’s.

“I’m having a great time.”

Lena couldn’t keep the smile from spreading across her face even if she tried or wanted to.

“The show hasn’t even started yet, Kara,” she replied.

“I know,” Kara whispered, and leaned in for a quick kiss.

Lena felt her body go rigid. She didn’t mean to. She knew that the shock that shot through her body like electricity and the cold sweat that instantly formed on the back of her neck was the result of years of being forced to hide her sexuality. Still, when she saw Kara pull away nervously as a result of Lena’s reaction, she felt terrible.

She felt even worse about the fact that she couldn’t stop her eyes from darting down to the filling seats of the theater below, checking to see if anyone had noticed their public display of affection. She felt like everyone was looking at her, whispering about her, judging her. She wondered if the sound of a camera snapping a shot was real or if she had made it up in her mind.

“Is everything alright?” Kara asked, searching Lena’s face.

Lena could feel tears stinging her eyes, and she forced herself not to blink so that they didn’t fall onto her cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

Kara grinned at Lena, eyes kind. Squeezing her hand for a second, she sat back in her chair, giving Lena her space and reading her program quietly. When the house lights went down, Lena let go of the tension she had been holding in her shoulders, feeling safe in the privacy of the darkness. She placed a hand on Kara’s knee, squeezing slightly.

“I’m sorry,” she said, the hollow sound of her voice barely audible over the sounds of the orchestra beginning the overture.

“What do you have to be sorry about?” Kara asked, placing her own hand atop Lena’s.

“I was the one who wanted to make this big gesture by taking you out in public like this. And now I’m being a paranoid idiot.”

“Don’t call yourself that, Lena. I can’t imagine being afraid to be who you are because of an unaccepting family. And the effects of that aren’t just going to go away overnight. I don’t expect anything of you, Lena. Whatever you need to do to feel comfortable, I’ll be okay with. Okay?”

Lena shook her head, in disbelief of just how good Kara was.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

Smiling brightly, Kara raised her opera glasses to her eyes, looking at Lena through them.

“Likewise,” she said, giggling.

Lena let the warmth of Kara’s company wash away her anxieties for the time being. As the show went on, she felt herself watching Kara, and not the performers. She smiled as Kara squinted into the glasses, pausing every now and then to read the program to see what was going on in the plot. Eventually, she conceded trying to keep up with the action, and leaned against Lena slightly, making up her own version of the story as it went on. Lena tried to contain her boisterous laughter as Kara swung her arms around dramatically, mimicking the performers as she struggled to keep adding layer after layer of made up action and backstories to the plot, each layer more ridiculous than the last. At one point, she nearly leapt out of her chair, exclaiming “I know this song! This is my _jam_ ” and attempted to sing along in her own made up version of Italian. By intermission, Lena was wiping tears from her eyes from laughing so hard.

At intermission, the two women left their seats to take a bathroom break. Out of habit, Lena pulled her phone out of her purse to see if she had missed any important business from LCorp. She had several text messages from Jess, and as she opened them on her walk with Kara to the facilities, her stomach dropped.

**_NEW TEXT FROM: JESS_ **

_Just giving you a heads up that there are some people tweeting that you’re on a date a mystery girl._

The next text was a picture message, a screenshot of a tweet that contained a blurry picture of Lena and Kara in their box in the theater, Kara’s forehead pressed against Lena’s, with the caption: _“Umm, since when does Lena Luthor have a girlfriend??? #GalsBeingPals”_

               _What should I do?,_ Jess texted.

Lena felt her chest tightening, and she fought off the wave of panic swelling inside of her. She texted Jess back, having to write the message at least five times because her shaking fingers kept making typos.

_Don’t do anything. It’s fine._

But it wasn’t fine. And despite Kara’s earlier reassurances, Lena hated herself because of it. Unaware of Lena’s current state of distress, Kara, being her effortlessly affectionate self, had entwined their fingers as they walked towards the restrooms, so that they wouldn’t get separated in the throng of people. As they entered the lobby of the theater, Lena now knew for certain that she hadn’t been imagining things when she had felt eyes on her earlier. Due to all of the Luthor drama in National City as of late, Lena’s face was more than recognizable in public. And she was currently being recognized by the public eye while a sweet, gorgeous, definitely too-good-for-her woman held on to her. It was so innocent, the way that Kara gripped Lena’s hand, swinging it slightly as she maneuvered through the crowd, but it was enough for Lena to fall apart under the crushing weight of every possible bad outcome that could come from her simply being who she was.

“Lena,” Kara called to her as she held the restroom door open. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Lena breathed. “I just…I’ll meet you back at the box, okay? I need to, ah, make a phone call.”

Kara stopped, turning to consider Lena.

“How about we get some fresh air, yeah?” she asked.

Numb, Lena nodded. Separating their clasped hands, Kara led the way out the front doors of the theater, weaving her way through the patrons who were out taking a smoke break until they could talk somewhere without being overheard.

“What’s happening?” Kara asked Lena, voice soft and patient.

Lena shook her head, attempting a laugh to shake off Kara’s concern. It sounded pathetic.

“It’s nothing, Kara.”

“Lena,” Kara pressed, “I know an anxiety attack when I see one. Trust me, I’m more than familiar with them lately.”

Lena blinked, wondering how someone as strong and heroic as Supergirl could ever experience something similar what Lena was feeling, something she could only describe as utter weakness. Unable to make herself form the words necessary to explain to Kara what was happening, she unlocked her phone and showed Kara the texts from Jess instead. Kara looked at them, and sighed.

“What do you want to do?” she asked.

“I want to get over myself. I knew something like this was likely to happen, and I should be fine with it. I’m just stupid. I’m being stupid. I’m…”

“Lena, stop,” Kara said, a hand reaching out to her, then pulling away, afraid to make her more uncomfortable.

Lena ducked her head, looking at the ground, taking long, slow breaths to gather her composure. As she searched for calm, a muffled growling sound cut through the silence. She looked up at Kara, confused.

“Was that your stomach?” she asked.

Kara’s fidgeted with her glasses.

“Um, yeah. I sort of need to consume a lot more calories a day than a normal person, you know, because of all the super powers and stuff.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I’m supposed to be showing you a great time, not starving you to death!”

“It’s fine, Lena. How were you supposed to know?”

Lena shook her head.

“So, despite my best efforts, both of us are mildly miserable. I’m pretty terrible at planning dates, aren’t I?”

“Oh, come on. Of course you’re not. All first dates have a few bumps in the road. And this one started out pretty amazing. So, why don’t we just order a ridiculous amount of takeout, put on some comfy clothes, and hang out at my place for a while, huh?”

Lena couldn’t lie and say that that didn’t sound like the most heavenly thing in the world right about now.

“You aren’t upset that you’re going to miss the rest of the opera?”

“Of course not!” Kara said, “They tell you the whole plot in the program! Like, hello, spoiler alert!”

Lena laughed. It was amazing how quickly Kara could brighten her mood.

“Alright,” Lena said, “Let’s go then. And Kara?” she said.

“Yes?”

“Thanks.”

Kara looked around them, making sure no one was looking, before planting a quick kiss on Lena’s cheek.

“Thank you, for doing so much tonight just to try and make me happy.”

 

*

 

Kara hadn’t been kidding when she suggested a “ridiculous amount” of takeout. Lena had never seen someone consume so much food in her life. She also had never seen someone talk so fluently with a full mouth, either. She guessed that if Kara really did need to eat as much as she said she did, that it was a necessary adaptation. She was telling Lena about the music on Krypton, and how it compared to the half of the opera she had seen that night. Lena listened intently, captivated by the stories of Kara’s home planet, noticing the way her eyes wandered away from their reality, to one that existed only as a bittersweet memory. Lena had never put much thought into the fact that Kara’s childhood was so different from Lena’s, or to any human for that matter. Sitting on Kara’s couch, in borrowed sweatpants and a t-shirt, listening, Lena came to a full realization that she was with the most profoundly unique girl in the whole universe. She had lost so much, and it only made her kind. Compared to the people Lena had grown up with, people who always looked to settle scores and seek revenge, Kara was the brightest thing she had ever seen. And in the warmth of that moment, Lena forgot all about her fears and anxieties. _Let the whole world know she was with this girl_ , Lena thought. Come hell or high water, she was in this for the long haul.

“Everything okay over there?” Kara asked, pulling Lena back to reality.

“Hmm? Yeah, why?”

“You’re staring,” Kara said.

Lena released a contented sigh, grasping Kara’s waist and pulling her close.

“Can you blame me?” she asked.

Smirking, Kara moved with Lena’s tugging, straddling Lena’s lap and clasping her hand together behind Lena’s neck. Compared to Kara’s tanktop and shorts, Lena felt amazingly overdressed, as she greedily drank in the sight of the girl on top of her. Muscular arms enveloping her, tank top coming up short, revealing her toned stomach, Lena wanted to memorize this moment.

“I’m not freaking you out by talking about Krypton, am I?”

Lena tilted her head up at Kara, furrowing her brow.

“Of course not,” she said, forcing herself to form coherent sentences as Kara ran her fingers through Lena’s hair. “I mean, it is a little intimidating that there is just so much I don’t know about you. And, also a little intimidating that you are literally the most powerful woman on Earth.”

That sentence sounded ironic rolling off of Lena’s tongue, considering that the most powerful woman on Earth was currently tracing lines up and down Lena’s arms with the gentlest touch of her fingertips.

Kara shrugged, staring down at Lena’s mouth.

“I don’t feel that powerful. Not around you.”

Lena swallowed hard, heart racing, as Kara brought their lips together. For a second it was soft, but the need inside both women overcame them quickly. Hands tangled into hair as tongues explored mouths, Kara rocking her hips into Lena’s lap, heat pooling between Lena’s legs as head screamed for her to go further. Lena moaned slightly into Kara’s mouth, and Kara pulled away.

“Can I ask you something?” she said.

“Right now?” Lena asked, breathless, cheeks hot, the pull in her gut demanding attention.

“What happens if our picture is slapped onto the cover of all the newspapers tomorrow? What will you do?”

Kara’s eyes looked downward self-consciously, tracing circles on Lena’s hands.

“Are you asking if I’m going to get scared and push you away again, like I did after Lex tried to kill me?” Lena asked.

Kara shrugged, still not looking Lena in the eye. Lena sighed, placing her index finger under Kara’s chin, lifting her head so that she could look at her.

“Honestly? My family is a bunch of assholes.”

Kara chuckled.

“I’m serious, Kara. Now that I know that I’m a Luthor by blood as well as by name, it’s made me realize I need to stop taking their shit. Their legacy is to be a bunch of stubborn, headstrong jerks, who do not let anything or anyone stand in the way of their goals. And do you know what my goal is?”

“What?” Kara whispered.

“To be happy. So, when pictures like this,” Lena said, pulling out her phone to show Kara the tweeted picture of the two of them together that Jess had sent her, “start popping up in the papers and online? I’m gonna start putting them in frames and hanging them on my walls. And I’ll show off to anyone and everyone that this amazing girl is in my life. And I’m gonna tell anyone who has a problem with it, my fucked up family included, to shove off. Because this,” she tapped on her screen for emphasis, “looks a whole lot like me reaching my goal. It’s gonna take an adjustment period, I can’t lie about that, but I’m going to be happy if it goddamn kills me. Does that answer your question?”

Kara nodded, her eyes darkening mischievously.

“Can I ask you one more question?” she asked, lips tickling against Lena’s as she hovered over her mouth.

“What’s that?” Lena replied, fighting to breathe normally.

“How far is it acceptable to go on a first date with Lena Luthor?”

_Oh, hell yes,_ Lena thought. Boldly, she grasped the bottom of Kara’s tank top, and pulled it over her head, revealing a black lace bra underneath. Kara gasped, mouth dramatically agape, a small giggle escaping.

“How about,” Lena said, hands gripping the bare skin of Kara’s waist, “you just tell me to stop when you want to stop?” She moved her left hand down to the waistband of Kara’s shorts, fingers skimming the impossibly soft skin of her stomach. “Does that sound good to you?”

Kara nodded, pupils dilated. She pulled Lena in for a clumsy, desperate kiss. Lena gave into it whole heartedly, grasping Kara’s waistband tighter, the nails of her free hand softly raking over Kara’s exposed back. Drowning in her lust for Kara, she tugged the shorts down by an inch or two, pulling her head back to look at Kara.

“Do you want me to stop?” she asked.

Kara shook her head, and dipped her head into the crook of Lena’s neck to bite at her pulse points. Lena gasped, letting herself melt beneath Kara’s touch for a moment, Kara’s hips pushing into her desperately, before Lena’s desire to take control came back to the surface. Lena settled Kara on her back against the couch, and she pulled at Kara’s shorts insistently now, dragging them down the length of her legs, fingers memorizing the feeling of them on the way down. Kara kicked the shorts aside, chest rising with her ragged breath.

Lena was hovering on top of Kara, who was now in nothing but her black lingerie, and Lena had to take a moment to stare. This was happening. And she wasn’t even asleep. At least, she didn’t think she was. She couldn’t be. Everything was too vivid to be a dream. Lena had thought about the possibility of having sex with Kara before she had planned their date, and she had been petrified at the thought of it. It had been long enough since the last time she was with a woman that she thought her body would have been a lot clumsier as she struggled to remember how. However, she was so carried away by her need for Kara that she barely had to put any thought into it. Hands working almost independently, she pressed Kara closer against her while she worked to unclasp her bra, mouth kissing Kara hungrily, first on her lips, then moving down her neck, across her collar bone, and back up to her mouth again. She tossed Kara’s bra away, useless to her now.

“Do you want me to stop?” she asked, biting at Kara’s.

“No,” Kara breathed through a moan.

Apparently frustrated with the amount of clothing still on Lena’s body, Kara grasped at the shirt she hand lent Lena, using her strength to rip it in half like it was made of tissue paper. Lena gasped.

“Oh, God, was that too much?” Kara asked, afraid she had startled her girlfriend.

Lena laughed, shrugging off the ruined article of clothing. 

“No, no,” she said, pulling off the glasses she just now realized Kara was still wearing. “I just keep forgetting you’re always Kara Danvers and Supergirl at the same time.”

Kara’s curls settled angelically above her breasts, like a picture frame over a piece of art. Lena kissed her again as she explored them with her hands, causing Kara to buck her hips and dig her nails into Lena’s back (with less strength than she was probably capable of, Lena thought thankfully). Lena smirked against Kara’s lips, pretty proud of herself for being able to elicit such physical yearning from her. She wanted to take her torturous time making her way to where she knew Kara wanted her most. But at the same time, she needed to know what it looked, sounded, and felt like when Kara came undone beneath her touch.

Lena pulled her mouth away from Kara’s, leaving light kisses on a trail from her jaw to her chest, where her tongue spent time on each of Kara’s breasts, causing her to gasp and moan urgently, her hand grasping Lena’s hair desperately.

“Lena,” Kara pleaded.

Lena gripped onto Kara’s underwear, and tugged them down.

“Do you want me to stop?” she asked again.

“Absolutely not,” Kara breathed, hands trembling with anticipation.

Lena moved to settle herself between Kara’s legs on the couch, her own center absolutely aching. Slowly, she lowered her lips to kiss Kara’s stomach, her lines of her hips, her inner thighs, and finally, her tongue gently ran torturously over Kara’s folds.

“Oh, God, Lena, please,” Kara breathed.

Lena smiled, and pressed her tongue deeper, setting a slow, steady rhythm on her clit. Kara gasped and writhed beneath her, whispering Lena’s name like a prayer. The heat in Lena’s center was unbearable; she was practically able to get off to the taste of Kara and the sound of her panting. Drunk off the power she had over the woman in her grasp, she sped up her pace, and ran a hand up Kara’s thigh, spreading her legs out more in front of her, and pushed two fingers into Kara.

“Oh my God,” Kara exclaimed, throwing her head back into the couch. “Oh my God, Lena, don’t stop.”

Lena grinned, moving her hand in time with her tongue that swirled circles over Kara’s clit. She felt the tension in Kara’s body building around her, hips rising to meet Lena’s mouth. She pressed her tongue harder against Kara, pumping her fingers into Kara more and more intensely.

“Lena. Lena, I’m…” Kara began, and she came apart all at once. She screamed out, invoking the names of foreign gods, tugging at Lena’s hair desperately as she brought Kara down from her orgasm. Kara collapsed against the couch.

“Holy shit,” Kara said, gasping for breath and bringing her hands up to cover her face.

Lena was shocked, unable to recall Kara ever swearing with such emphasis before.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Kara breathed. “Yeah. I just…holy shit.”

Lena chuckled, selfishly letting herself stare at Kara’s naked body as she gained her composure. Then, suddenly, Lena was being lifted off the ground, Kara putting strong hands under Lena’s ass and standing. Lena yelped, lust consuming her body as she wrapped her legs around Kara, who was, Lena realized, carrying her towards her bedroom.

“Now, you really will have to tell me when you want me to stop,” Kara said as she dropped Lena onto the bed, pulling at the drawstring of her sweatpants. “Because I have superhero level stamina, and I plan on having a lot of practice tonight learning how to perfect making love to a woman.”

Lena gasped, giggling into Kara’s mouth as she kissed her hungrily and pressed Lena against the mattress.

 

*

 

 

Kara was pulled out of an impossibly deep sleep the next morning to the sound of her phone ringing. She was disoriented for a moment until she remembered the night before. Then she smiled widely, letting her phone go unanswered. Whoever it was could leave a voicemail. She tugged at her sheet to cover the parts of her naked body that had been uncovered in her sleep, and rolled over to see Lena sleeping soundly next to her, lipstick smeared, one of her breasts peeking out above the sheet. Kara sighed contentedly. She couldn’t believe how much she had been freaking out before their date had started. That was, hands down, one of the best nights of her life. She took a lock of Lena’s dark, slightly tangled hair between her fingers, touching it to make sure it was real, that she was real, and that Kara hadn’t dreamed this all up. Lena’s chest rose and fell with her breathing. Unable to resist, Kara leaned over to press a kiss into Lena’s lips. Stirring, Lena smiled into Kara’s lips, and opened her eyes lazily.

“Good morning,” she said, morning voice low and raspy.

“Hi,” Kara whispered, unable to contain a small giggle from bubbling out of her.

“I don’t know if I can move,” Lena murmured, smiling.

“Then don’t,” Kara replied. “Stay just like you are, in here, all day. And then all day tomorrow, and then after that, we can just move this whole room into LCorp so you can work and still not have to leave this bed.”

Lena laughed through a yawn, pressing their lips together again languidly.

“You’re ridiculous,” Lena said, chuckling.

“No I’m not. I’m just…happy. And I want to stay this happy forever. And I feel like the way to do that is to just keep you in my bed for a good, long while.”

“I believe you,” Lena said, sitting up slightly, “you weren’t kidding about the stamina thing.”

“Was it too much?” Kara said, suddenly doubting herself, “Are you okay?”

Lena laughed again.

“I am absolutely perfect, Kara,” she said, kissing her again.

When she pulled away, Kara rolled over to check and see who had called her.

_Oh, Rao._

She had exactly ten text messages, and two missed calls from Alex.

**_TEXT FROM: ALEX: 7:02 P.M._**

_How’s it going? You didn’t have a panic attack in front of Lena, did you?_

**_7: 15 P.M_ **

_Where are you guys going for you date? You better call and tell me everything when its over._

**_7:33 P.M_ **

_THERE ARE PICTURES OF YOU AND LENA BEING CUTE IN AN OPERA BOX ON TWITTER. WHAT IS HAPPENING YOU LITTLE DEVIL??_

**_9:08 P.M_ **

_I’m guessing from your lack of response that you’re having a little more fun than is typical for a first date, missy. I’m not judging. You just better call me to tell me about your fancy                                opera date after._

**_9:11 P.M_ **

_Also if you’re participating in adult activities, try not to injure that poor girl with your superstrength._

**_9:47 P.M_ **

_PS you better thank J’onn for keeping an eye on Livewire so you can get laid._

**_10:59 P.M_ **

_Okay I know I’m being annoying but I actually am starting to worry about you can you please answer your phone??_

**_11:04 P.M_ **

_KARA. WHAT IS HAPPENING. DID A LUTHOR COME TO FUCK SHIT UP AGAIN??_

**_11:06 P.M_ **

_KARA I’M BEING SERIOUS ANSWER YOUR PHONE._

**_11:16 P.M_ **

_KARA OH MY GOD!!!! ANSWER YOUR SISTER!!!!_

**_NEW TEXT FROM: MAGGIE SAWYER (11:18 P.M)_ **

_Hey, can you text Alex to let her know you’re not dead before she has a heart attack? (PS congrats on the sex LOL)_

Kara groaned, and quickly texted Alex back.

_Alex I am FINE. CALM DOWN. I’ll call you later, okay? I just woke up._

Lena leaned into Kara’s back, letting her head rest on Kara’s shoulder.

“And I thought my family was possessive,” she joked.

Kara laughed in response, and, mostly out of morning habit, checked her email. She had a new email from Snapper Carr, titled “DATING YOUR SUBJECTS, DANVERS????”

Nope. She was not even going to open that one. She was not letting her boss ruin her morning. She tossed her phone back onto her nightstand carelessly, soothed by the feeling of Lena’s body pressed against hers.

“Anything wrong?” Lena whispered into Kara’s ear, sending a shiver down her spine.

“Eh,” Kara shrugged, “I might get fired. But there are always other papers to write for. I hate my boss, anyway.”

“You know, I always thought LCorp might benefit from getting into the publication business,” Lena replied, pressing her lips into Kara’s neck.

Kara chuckled, turning to drink in the view of Lena Luthor sitting naked in her bed, sleep still clinging to her eyes. She felt an ever familiar heat pooling between her legs.

“Think there’s anywhere nearby that will deliver doughnuts?” she asked, laying back down on her side of the bed.

Lena settled in next to her girlfriend, resting an arm lazily across Kara’s stomach.

“Someone probably would if you ordered, what, like, ten dozen? That should be enough to keep you content, right?”

Kara laughed, shutting her eyes, letting herself fit in a few more minutes of sleep before facing the day.

_Yes_ , she thought, wrapping an arm around Lena. This was more than enough to keep her content.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel personally accomplished for making it through my first smut scene without running and hiding from my computer bc it makes me SO UNCOMFORTABLE. If that accomplishment is just that I've blackened yet another part of my soul than whatever, it was worth it. I finished this last night at literally put *the end* on it, then decided that they deserve an epilogue, and so do you guys for being such awesome, supportive people, really, so, FINAL CHAPTER OF THIS STORY coming at you in 5...4...3...2...


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I at least attempted to bring this story back to the point of the title i created way back at the beginning of this trip...

Kara was exhausted. Physically and mentally exhausted. This had been what had to be a record week of alien attacks on National City. Snapper hadn’t fired her, but he was making her life a living hell while he got over the fact that she was dating the most news worthy woman in National City, and he couldn’t properly report on half of it because it had to do with the love life of one of his staffers. And she was just…tired of all of it.

Some big lizard-like alien was lurking around, slowly tracking her down as she hid behind an abandoned car, trying to catch her breath. She knew in a few moments it would find her, start beating the crap out of her again, and Kara was trying to force herself to find the instinct to fight back, to save herself. But the panic was setting in again…

_“Kara?”_ a familiar voice called into her earpiece. _“I was gonna start to make dinner. Will you be home soon, babe?”_

Kara remembered to breathe, the numbness in her body receding. She had to pull herself together. She was not going to miss dinner with her girlfriend because some stupid lizard was gonna kill her. No way.

“Yeah,” she breathed. “Yeah, I’ll be home soon. Love you.”

_“I love you, too,”_ Lena replied.

_“Umm,”_ the perplexed voice of Winn cut into the earpiece. _“What was that? Did someone just override my secure comm line?”_

Kara could hear the lizard-man flanking her left, and she flew up and around the block to sneak up on him from behind.

“Yeah, uh, about that,” Kara said, slamming into the alien, sending him rocketing down the street as he screamed angrily. “Lena sort of made her own direct line into my earpiece. It’s secure, though, still, no one else can access it.”

_“Wh-Are you kidding, Kara?”_ Winn whined. _“Your girlfriend can’t just tinker with my tech because she wants to flirt with you while you’re on the job! Frankly, I’m annoyed she figured out how!”_

“She gets worried about me, Winn. And you know I don’t really have time to answer my cell phone while I’m working.”

_“Kara,”_ Alex cut in, “ _if she keeps treating Supergirl as if she’s her girlfriend it makes it that much harder to keep your identity a secret. Literally everyone in National City knows that Lena Luthor is dating Kara Danvers. I swear to God if I see one more picture of you two making out all over the news I am going to gouge my eyes out.”_

Kara smirked, using the lizard’s momentum against him as he jumped to attack, and throwing him down into the concrete. Yeah, it was kind of cool that she was largely recognized as the girlfriend of the most badass female CEO in National City since Cat Grant.

“Yeah, I know it’s a risk. It’s…it’s kind of cute though.”

Both Winn and Alex groaned into the comm.

“Alright!” Kara sighed, delivering a final punch to the lizard alien, knocking him out cold. “I’ll tell her not to mess with DEO tech anymore. It could have been worse, she wanted to be able to check my vitals in real time from her phone. I told her it would just make her a nervous wreck. Now, can you guys come pick up your new pet? I’m late for dinner.”

They both groaned again.

Kara rushed home quickly, flying into her apartment through her window, which Lena had left open for her. No, Lena hadn’t moved into Kara’s apartment quite yet. They weren’t trying to race through the important milestones of their relationship that fast. But, Kara had given Lena a copy of her apartment key for when Lena wanted to come over and Kara wasn’t home from her superhero work yet. A benefit of this was that Kara discovered that Lena was an amazing cook, and that Lena sometimes liked to settle into Kara’s bed, wearing nothing but one of Kara’s t-shirts, and surprise her when she got home. Mostly, though, Lena just liked to be in Kara’s apartment much more than she liked to be in her own.

Lena moved around Kara’s kitchen, as familiar with it as her own. Kara walked up behind her girlfriend to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which Lena leaned into affectionately, and then Kara walked over to her couch, collapsing onto it, trying not to wince as her body repaired itself.

“Are you okay?” Lena asked, turning to Kara.

“Yep, another day saved,” Kara grunted.

“Your sister is a little annoyed with me for messing with your gear,” Lena said.

“Oh,” Kara sighed, “Don’t worry about her.”

“No, she has a point, Kara. I know I shouldn’t worry so much about you, because you are more than capable of handling yourself. But this is a bit of an adjustment period for me. And, admittedly,” Lena moved to sit on the couch next to Kara. “I’m still waiting for the day when one of my family members pops back up and tries to take you from me. Again.”

Kara climbed into Lena’s lap, legs straddling her, burying her head in Lena’s neck.,

“That’s not gonna happen, babe. I won’t let it, okay?”

Lena let out a long breath, chest shuddering.

“I know,” she whispered. “I just can’t keep myself from worrying.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Kara said, meeting Lena’s eyes. “Do you know what I do any time my anxiety starts to get to me?”

“What’s that?”

“I think of you. And how I can accomplish anything as long as I get to come home to you.”

Lena smiled.

“You know, Danvers, you’re kind of a sap,” she joked.

“Yeah, that sounded pretty corny coming out of my mouth, I’m not gonna lie. Now, how can I help with dinner? I’m _starving_.”

Lena shook her head, laughing.

“You know I wouldn’t be so willing to cook enough for at least twelve people this often if I didn’t love you, right?”

Kara smiled, squirming excitedly in Lena’s lap.

“I love you too,” she said, giving Lena a quick kiss. “Time for food.”

 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've said it plenty of times before, but thank you guys so much for going on this journey with me. This is the first time I'm really putting anything I've written out there for anyone to see, and I was terrified when I started. But you have all been so fantastic and encouraging, and I wanna give you all a hug. I hope I gave you guys something to enjoy, even just a little, while season two unfolds with all it's...challenges. I personally can't believe I dedicated myself so much to this story to make sure I saw it through, but I'm glad I did.
> 
> Anyway, I'm done being sappy now. I'm not done writing, by any means. I have another supercorp fic in the works, an AU, and I'm honestly probably going to start posting chapters within the week, bc it's a lot of fun to work on. So keep an eye out for that! Otherwise, thanks again for everything, feel free to chat in the comments or on tumblr (my url is schatzietess). Love you!!


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